Writing with Style: Conversations on the Art of Writing

After analyzing an essay’s opener, middle, and closer, Trimble homes in on sentences and individual words choices, or what he calls diction. When it comes to words, Trimble’s main argument is this: Use them thriftily. If something can be said clearly in five words versus 10, say it in five. He provides these examples:

Too Lengthy                              Thriftier Option

In the event that                         If

In order to                                  To

For the reason that                     Since

One in the same                         The same

He speaks with great bitterness  He speaks bitterly (60).

Pair down your words—longer is never better. “A good writer,” he explains, “will perform this kind of operation on every sentence, going back over them again and again, laboriously, even obsessively, until he is satisfied that he cannot make his phrases any more succinct without sacrificing clarity” (61). Likewise, being thrifty with your words is respectful to the reader’s time and energy—a key theme in Writing with Style.

Another marker of good diction is an author’s use of active verbs, or what Trimble calls vigorous verbs. By definition, “A verb is considered ‘active’ when its subject is the actor doing whatever action the verb is describing.” When sentences have active verbs, the author is displaying active voice. Passive voice, on the other hand, “is always composed of is (or was, or were, or has been) plus a past participle” (61). Here are a few examples:

Passive voice: “Meaning was found by Freud in everything.”

Active voice: “Freud detected meaning in everything.”

Passive voice: “It is said that power is corrupting”

Active voice: “Power corrupts” (63).

The active voice uses an active verb (corrupts); it requires less words and gets to the point. The passive voice, on the other hand, uses a passive verb (is corrupting) and takes longer to convey its message. Trimble compares active voice to a strong handshake and passive voice to a limp handshake. Without a strong active verb, no sentence will ever reach beyond the limp handshake. The core problem with passive voice is that is removes or obscures responsibility between who performed the action and who is the agent: “The verb, for better or worse, functions as the power center for every sentence” (63). Make it count, and use active verbs.

Chapter 8, “Tips for increasing readability,” continues to discuss diction, but enters the far fuzzier realm of style, which is subjective and judged based on personal preferences. Good style is far more difficult to define than good diction, but Trimble does highlight what writing styles he personally appreciates. He acknowledges that “I like to have an author talk to me, unbend to me, speak right out to me” (69). Conversely, he dislikes austere, stuffy, or aloof writing, a style that many essay writers wrongly assume they should try to emulate.

What Trimble is seeking with good style is not perfection, but personality: “What I’m saying,” he says, “is that I like an author to be himself, warts and all” (70). Accessibility, honesty, clarity, and punchiness beat all else.

For students submitting essays to strict teachers, Trimble suggests striking a balance between informal and formal language, or what is called “General English” (73). General English is not a set grammatical standard, but instead a broad approach to writing that includes vocabulary that’s both casual and formal, both personal and impersonal. General English has the same characteristics of good diction, including clarity, conciseness, and simplicity.

After discussing these points of style, Trimble offers smaller tips that increase a writer’s readability:

• It’s okay to use contractions sometimes. For example, “I do not” becomes “I don’t;” or “It is” becomes “It’s.” Occasional contractions relax one’s writing style
• It’s preferable to use the pronoun “that” instead of “which,” the former being more casual
• Don’t refer to yourself in the third person as “the author.” If you want to refer to yourself in your essay, say “I”
• It’s good to use dialogue, including quotes between characters, in your essay
• Vary the length of your sentences; some can be long, while others short
• Eliminate most of your adjectives. If the writer uses strong nouns, they won’t need adjectives
• Eliminate most of your adverbs; strong verbs can stand alone
• Make sure each sentence logically connects with the one preceding and the one following
• Always read your sentences aloud
• Sometimes it’s okay to start a sentence with “and” or “but,” although make sure to add a comma after
• Humor and wit are welcomed gifts, even in academic writing
• Do not use exclamation points in an analytical essay
• Write as if you are speaking directly to a friend
• Read the prose of writers that you like and emulate them (77-82).