Woke Up Like This

“My point is, I spend half the time pretending to know what I’m doing, and the other half ignoring all my problems and hoping they’ll disappear. Spoiler alert: they do not.”

Here, Char’s mother tries to explain why Char shouldn’t be in such a rush to become an adult, essentially describing adults in a way that makes them sound a lot like teenagers. Char, however, continues to believe that adults feel more certainty and purposefulness until she witnesses this very cluelessness with her father after she returns from 2037. While Char cannot empathize with her mother’s view in this statement, this changes as she matures.

“The thought of me not being in control is hive-inducing.”

When Kassie suggests that Char take a backseat in the prom planning, this is how Char responds. She recognizes that her need for control is not exactly healthy, but in her mind, to relinquish all control is tantamount to a severe allergy with potentially dire physical implications. This histrionic reaction underscores her adolescence.

“This is his backward way of asking for help because, in the depths of his pea brain, he knows he’s clueless.”

Char’s description of J. T. is unflattering, and it highlights Lea’s use of dramatic irony in the novel. She makes it clear to the reader that he asked Char to go with him to the rental store to spend time with Char rather than because he needs help; he’s supremely confident, and the prom theme was even his idea. This is a classic example of the way Char misinterprets J. T.’s emotions, while Lea clarifies them for the reader. As a result of her singular perspective, she is unable to see this as a clue that he wants to spend time with her because he has feelings for her. Ironically, she calls him clueless when she is.

“To make matters worse, the whole debacle caused me to bomb my scholarship interview.”

Char believes that she was so thrown off by the tampon avalanche in the hallway that she made an absolute mess of her scholarship interview after school that day. However, Char later learns that she has been awarded this very scholarship. Her lack of judgment and inability to see things from others’ points of view leads her to believe that she could never get the scholarship after she “rambled” in the interview. This quotation shows that it isn’t just J. T. she cannot read; Char cannot correctly interpret most people’s feelings or reactions.

“I’m not saying you and Kassie won’t be friends in twenty years. But friendships can change. Sometimes people drift apart. That’s just life. It doesn’t make it any less painful, though.”

Char’s mom tells her honestly about The Unexpected Joy and Pain of Growing Up: that relationships one believes will last forever can change as people age and outgrow relationships. Char simply cannot believe this fate could be possible for her and Kassie, emphasizing Char’s singular perspective.

“His eyes fiercely search my face, probably judging my swollen eyes and puffy cheeks.”

Char’s description of J. T. after he helps her up off the gym floor creates dramatic irony, whereby Lea clarifies that J. T. has feelings for Char that Char does not pick up on. J. T. searches her face to see if she wants him to kiss her, not to be critical of her appearance.

“‘It’s our time capsule,’ I say. The moment I touch the cool metal, the pads of my fingers zing with electricity. Pinpricks roll from my neck down my back. ‘Ouch. Static shock.’ I lift my hand for a moment and when I run my finger over it again, the metal suddenly feels warm.”

The time capsule symbolizes the significance of the present; Lea suggests that, if happiness is to be found in the present, one’s time would be better spent enjoying it rather than thinking about some unknown future self who will open a time capsule. The “shock” Char experiences changes the mood of the narrative from relatively predictable to something more mysterious and unstable, signaling its foray into magical realism.

“Future me is a lovesick fool.”

Char is unpleasantly surprised to see who she has become, at least in terms of romance, at 30. Her home is plastered with lovey-dovey photos of her and J. T., and her office is dripping with pictures and mementos too. The revelation of Char’s future starry-eyed self conveys, again, how little one’s past matters to one’s present happiness and how unknowable, ultimately, the future is. At 17, Char cannot imagine acting like a lovesick fool for anyone, let alone with her high school archnemesis. This suggests that making attempts to control or predict the future, as Char does, is fruitless.

“He and I have always been friendly, but we’ve never been super close. Part of me wonders if my resentment toward him for taking so much of Kassie’s time has gotten in the way of that.”

Char describes Ollie, who has thrown a lovely party for adult J. T. and Char. It represents a big change in Char’s maturity because it is the first time she recognizes how past resentments might lessen her present happiness—even how it might cost her fulfilling relationships with others. It is also one of the first times that Char considers that Kassie’s friendship is imperfect, foreshadowing later realizations about how they drift apart.

“Our lips melt together seamlessly in a way I’ve never felt. Like opposites colliding. It feels safe, yet electrifying.”

Char’s description of her first real kiss with J. T. at Ollie’s party uses the same language that Char used to describe her reaction to the time capsule. Just as she felt a shock then, she feels “electrified” now. The repetition of this imagery connects the time capsule to the kiss, implying that Char should learn to be fully present and enjoy the moment.

“But right now, sagged over the counter, he seems stripped of all that Renner-like energy. He looks flat-out sad. I don’t like it. At all.”

When adult J. T. learns of his mother’s new boyfriend, he appears emotionally vulnerable to Char for the first time. In addition, Char’s immediate and compassionate response indicates both her changing feelings toward him and her new ability to empathize with and relate to others’ perspectives.

“You refuse to listen to anyone else and see things from different points of view.”

This accusation, which J. T. makes in the heat of an argument, identifies one of the most significant impediments to Char’s happiness: her singular perspective. When she learns about The Need for Empathy, she is better able to release resentments that detract from her happiness; J. T. ultimately helps her to realize this.

“Had I known Renner needed it so badly on his resume for college too, would I have taken the loss so badly? It’s hard to say. But it does lessen my grudge, if only slightly.”

Like her realization that she and Ollie might have been good friends had she not resented him over Kassie, Char takes another step toward developing empathy for others and recognizing how little resentment serves her.

“In the movies, people are always going back in time to change things. But if Larry is right and we can’t change things, what if we’re just…meant to learn a lesson or something?”

Having learned about the grandfather paradox theory from J. T.’s uncle, Char suggests that maybe they’ve leaped ahead in time because there is something they need to learn, foreshadowing what she does learn about The Importance of Being Present. Ultimately, it is this recognition and understanding that immediately precedes her and J. T.’s return to 2024, emphasizing—as this quotation does—that this is the “lesson” she had to learn.

“This Kassie feels like a whole new person I don’t know.”

Grown-up Kassie is very unlike teenage Kassie. Rather than marrying Ollie, which everyone anticipated in high school, she has sworn off serious relationships because she realized that they consumed her. She’s a lot more independent and confident than teenage Kassie was, and Char is very proud of her despite their lack of closeness now. The changes in this relationship and each of the women convey just how unpredictable the future is, despite best laid plans.

“I think about how mad I was that he didn’t show up to our party last night. How mad I was when I saw he wasn’t on the wedding seating chart. About all the times he wasn’t there when he should have been. And now I have nowhere to target that anger. Because Dad is dead. So instead, I just sob. Uncontrollably.”

Char’s default emotion in relation to her father is anger, as she keeps a mental tally of all the times he hasn’t been there for her; her resentment takes the form of a list as she clings to the part of herself that needs order. His death helps her to understand how little control she truly has over the future, no matter how many lists or slideshows she makes. Lea suggests this realization as the ordered list unravels and becomes short, stark sentences, ending in a sentence of a single adverb.

“I feel much lighter knowing he’s feeling better.”

When J. T. comes to terms with his parents’ divorce and sees his mother so happy with her new boyfriend, he feels a lot happier. Through this, Lea relates The Need for Empathy and the uselessness of being bitter.

“‘We could even…have fun…if you want to?’ he offers, earnestly.”

When Char tells J. T. that her dad died, he makes space for her to feel however she needs to, including when she doesn’t want to think or talk about it anymore. He extends her the chance to just be in the moment and do something completely unrelated to this news. The ellipses on either side of “…have fun…” and the word “even” add satire to his suggestion; they draw attention to its simplicity while conveying that Char sees “fun” as revelatory.

“Logically, it feels wrong to smile hours after finding out Dad is dead. Things have never been worse, and yet, I’m happy. I don’t want to be anywhere else, with anyone else. It’s strange how these two things can exist in parallel.”

This line represents a key moment in Char’s character development. She has let go of her former rivalry with J. T. and even, at least for a bit, the grief and anger she feels in regard to her father. Here, Char experiences The Unexpected Joy and Pain of Growing Up: Adulthood can hold “parallel” happiness and sadness that must be lived through.

“I let that settle for a few moments. All this time, I assumed he’d ditched me because he didn’t want me as his date. ‘Knowing that would have changed everything.’ I think he knows it too.”

J. T. explains that the reason he stood Char up for homecoming was due to his desire to stay with his mom in a particularly painful time of grief over the death of his sister. Learning about J. T.’s sister and the role her death plays in his life, including why he is so charming and desirous to make others happy, emphasizes the way Char has allowed past resentments to lessen her present happiness.

“Side by side, we run straight into the rain, fearless, as though we’re running into war. On the same team.”

Now that Char and J. T. are able to correctly interpret each other’s feelings and trust one another, Char feels as though they are united in a really intense way: Her simile compares them to fellow soldiers who want the same thing. The writing here is more poetic than prosaic, with single-adjective clauses (“fearless”), to underscore the romance of the moment.

“I nod, thinking about how I asked two guys to prom in the span of twenty-four hours. I have no idea where I found the strength to do that.”

First, Char asks J. T. to prom, but since he is going with Andie, she musters the courage to ask Clay Diaz, her long-time crush. A few days ago, Char had been too timid to ask anyone to prom, and now she’s bold enough to ask two different people. Her reflection directly highlights her character development.

“‘I’ve had a crush on you for literally ever and—’ I don’t know where my courage comes from.”

When prom doesn’t go as planned, Char addresses Clay about not feeling any spark between them, which makes him feel relieved, too. Lea uses vernacular language, “literally ever,” to convey Char’s youth after time-traveling back to 17.