What Alice Forgot

Alice is overwhelmed by the noise and energy of the children at dinner. Madison asks whether Alice remembered the divorce when she woke up, and Nick makes “a strangled, helpless sound” (268). Alice admits that she does not remember it. When Tom points out that they would fight too much if Nick moved back in, Alice asks—interested—what they fight about. Gina, the American Express, and a time that Olivia got lost at the beach, the children tell her.

Alice tells Madison about her nickname when she was a tiny fetus—Sultana, Madison smiles. Alice remembers that Madison wouldn’t sleep unless they were driving. She has a clear memory of a morning on the beach at Manly with Madison. She remembers that she and Nick used to be so happy but notes that he seems to hate her now.

Elisabeth, feeling that she has had enough therapy sessions to have developed a close rapport with her psychiatrist, decides to start addressing her journal entries to “Jeremy” (Dr. Hodges’s first name). To clear his head, Ben goes for a drive. Elisabeth remembers times that she found Alice’s children boring or difficult and wonders if she even wants to be a mother or would be a good mother. She has spent so long considering motherhood that she has lost track of why she wants it. Thinking of these things, she cries.

Mr. Mustache arrives at Frannie’s flat; to her surprised, he has shaved off his mustache. He and Frannie go to Tai Chi and then have tea back at Frannie’s place. He tells Frannie about his two grown children, both adopted, whom he misses. He and his wife couldn’t get pregnant naturally, and he explains that this is why he sympathizes with Elisabeth so much. Frannie remembers her desire to have a child with Phil.

Alice drives the children to school after a stressful morning; Olivia was difficult to rouse, and the children watched TV while eating breakfast—causing them to run late. She snaps at the children, who are quibbling in the backseat, in a voice she doesn’t recognize. She experiences an inner monologue describing Nick as a “sanctimonious bastard” while she reflects on his new “sneery” way of talking to her (276). On the drive, the children tell her about the things that make her angry: slamming doors, Nick, and Madison. In front of the school, Alice talks to Kate. She tells Kate that she and Nick will be getting back together. The news shocks Kate, as Alice recently told her that Nik made her “physically ill” and that she “couldn’t stand the sight of him” (283). Alice talks briefly to Dominick, who is kind and tender to her.

Elisabeth goes to the hospital for the blood test following her most recent round of IVF to find out if she is pregnant. When she goes into the office, she is rude to her assistant.

Alice is eating a custard tart on her front step when a handsome young man arrives on a motorbike. He introduces himself as Luke, her personal trainer. Luke used to come to train both Alice and Gina, and he is still emotional about Gina’s death. Alice asks him if she ever confided in him about her relationship with Nick. He says that she told her that lack of sleep was responsible for the demise of their marriage. Alice describes an irritable, unsatisfied feeling she has. Luke tells her that she has a “caffeine addiction,” and tells her about her regular coffee shop: Dino’s.

After he leaves, Alice does pushups on the front step. She turns and says, “beat that!” and realizes that no one is there, and that the audience she was subconsciously executing to address must have been Gina, whom she still doesn’t remember (293).

Elisabeth writes about the “coffee shop incident,” which led her to seek help with her mental health. Elisabeth recalls grabbing a toddler, who was about to step out onto the busy road, outside of Dino’s. The child’s mother was talking on the phone. Elisabeth reflects that the child had curly brown hair, as she had always imagined her and Ben’s children would have. Elisabeth began to walk away with the child. The mother ran after Elisabeth and grabbed her child back. Then, Elisabeth started sobbing in the gutter. Alice, who knew the mother, arrived and managed to placate her; then, she drove Elisabeth to Frannie’s. That day, Frannie revealed that she writes to a man called Phil, to whom she was once engaged, but that he does not write back. This confuses Alice and Elisabeth, but they don’t ask any questions.

Alice arrives at Dino’s Coffee Shop and finds the smells and sounds extremely familiar. Dino makes her usual coffee and discusses Alice’s accident with her. They talk about the upcoming Mega Meringue Day, Alice and Nick’s divorce, and Elisabeth’s struggles with infertility. Dino gives Alice an African fertility doll to pass onto Elisabeth.

Alice reflects on Nick’s comment to Dino, that he would “fix [their marriage] if he could” (302). She does a load of laundry and is struck with a sudden rush of embarrassment, betrayal, and shock. An image comes to mind of Nick kissing a woman, red-headed and small, in the laundry room. She calls Sophie, who was a close friend 10 years ago, but realizes from their conversation that they are no longer close.

Alice calls Barb, and Barb tells her that she mentioned Nick and Alice’s reconciliation to Jane, who was shocked and advised Alice not to sign anything. Barb mentions that Jane said Alice is not responding to her texts. Alice doesn’t know what texts are. Barb says that Elisabeth’s blood test, which will reveal if she’s pregnant, is today.

Alice, Barb, Layla (Elisabeth’s assistant), and Ben call Elisabeth; she ignores all the calls.

Nick calls Alice, asking how her head injury is. She “tartly” (311) tells him that it is a little late to check if she is okay driving the children to school. Alice tells Nick that she remembers him kissing a woman in the laundry. Nick says that he never did this. Laughing bitterly, he says that he is unsurprised that this is what she remembers. Nick reminds Alice that she has a responsibility to care for the children and needs to tell him if she’s not yet recovered. She is incensed by his “pompous, I’m-so-rational-you’re-so-irrational voice,” and tells him that she’s glad they’re getting divorced (312).

Alice looks through photo albums, pouring over Christmas shots and many photos of herself and Gina with champagne or on holidays. She reflects that “it looks like a dream life” (315).

A group of women arrives at the house to discuss Mega Meringue Mother’s Day. One of the women, Maggie, helps Alice prepare tea, coffee, and banana muffins in the kitchen. She is Dominick’s sister and cautions Alice not to rush back to Nick; Alice recently told Maggie how much happier and more respected she feels with Dominick. The red-headed woman whom Alice remembers kissing Nick arrives.

Elisabeth calls to get the blood-test results.

Alice greets the red-headed woman, who is Mrs. Holloway, the deputy principal of the school. Alice explains her memory loss to Maggie. Nora, another mother, joins them in the kitchen, and they discuss Mrs. Holloway kissing Mike—Gina’s husband—in the laundry. This, they explain, seems to be the event that began the disharmony in Gina and Mike’s marriage and led to their divorce. Alice explains that she was sure that it had been Nick kissing Mrs. Holloway.

Nora and Maggie explain that the Mega Meringue Mother’s Day event is a tribute to Gina. Alice reflects that Gina seems to be the key to everything, and that once she remembers Gina, she is confident that she will remember everything else.

Elisabeth daydreams about driving full speed into a telephone pole. She considers that she could either do this or go to the office to prepare for her keynote address at the Australian Direct Marketing Association Conference.

Mothers from school talk to Alice on the playground while she interacts with her children. It all feels familiar, yet Alice remembers none of it.

Elisabeth cancels her next session with Jeremy. She goes into the office.

Frannie reveals that Mr. Mustache’s name is Xavier. She reflects on the way the mind “resists death with all its might,” remembering Alice asking the week before when she will stop being shocked by death (326). She likens this to Barb’s resistance to accept the death of her husband years earlier and reveals that she continues writing to Phil in response to the letter he sent from Queensland shortly before he died.

Madison wakes Alice up, screaming, from a nightmare. Alice runs into her room. Madison is yelling and sobbing, “get it off Gina! Get it off her!” (327).