53 pages • 1 hour read
Annette LareauUnequal Childhoods: Class, Race, and Family Life
Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 2003A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Part 2, Chapters 6-7Chapter Summaries & Analyses
Part 2: “Language Use”
Part 2, Chapter 6 Summary: “Developing a Child: Alexander Williams”
In her study, Lareau finds that children in different classes of families are spoken to and about in very different ways. She explains that this is the result of disciplinary methods and the previously mentioned two overarching parenting styles that dictate how parents view their children and thus interact with them. In middle-class families, it is observed that children are spoken with, rather than at, and that they are considered involved in conversation essentially from birth or even prior. As a result, when these children develop, they have acquired high vocabularies, a sense of confidence in the use of language, and skills in negotiations. Working-class and poor children, on the other hand, are often spoken about rather than with, and when they are spoken to, it is often in a disciplinary form. This puts these children at a disadvantage in their education and future careers, as they do not have the same opportunities to use and develop language or assertiveness.
Alexander Williams and his parents live in a predominantly Black middle-class neighborhood. Christina, his mother, has a master’s degree and works an important executive position. Alexander’s father is a lawyer, who is similarly very busy with work. Together they earn around 200k per year, and money is almost never discussed with Alexander because it is not an issue. They live in a large home with many furnishings. Alexander is “active and inquisitive” (109) and remain in constant motion by doing things like “jumping up in the air, trying to see through the windows of the house” (109). Alexander is open to new experiences and excited to try new things, which his parents are happy about. Alex is popular at school and engaged in several extracurricular activities, including piano, baseball, soccer, choir, and Sunday school. The Williamses fully embrace concerted cultivation and consider Alexander’s commitments to be “an essential component in his overall development” (110). Concerted cultivation affects the use of language as well, particularly within Alexander’s family: conversation is constant, opinions and knowledge are encouraged, and reasoning is used instead of discipline. All of this sets Alex up to be a strong academic, with a high vocabulary, strong critical thinking skills, and the ability to negotiate with adults and peers. Alex’s parents, like Garrett’s, arrange their lives to suit their child’s schedule, and this combined with the open atmosphere means that Alex (and most middle-class children) feels he is “special, that [his] opinions matter, and that adults should, as a matter of routine, adjust situations to meet children’s wishes” (111). The verbal skills middle-class children acquire allow them to navigate the adult world, customize situations, and negotiate with positions of power, both in the present and in their future careers. This makes parenting these children sometimes difficult, as they may reject their own parents’ views as well.
Alex, like Garrett Tallinger, enjoys his activities and feels they make him stand out from the crowd and keep him from boredom. He can react with anger or resentment when he finds that he has no activities planned and must amuse himself. His parents, too, see these activities as essential for Alex’s development into a “better person, a better citizen, a better husband, a better father—certainly a better student” (113). Alex relishes the attention and validation he gets for excelling in his activities, though it does cause stress and tension between his parents sometimes as their leisure time is often consumed by activities. Despite this tension, Alex’s parents use reasoning and logic to guide Alex’s behavior and openly discuss his activities with him regularly. This helps develop Alex’s verbal and conversational abilities, and this pattern is observed when Alex needs help with schoolwork as well as when Alex is offered choices of what to eat, how to spend his day, or what activities he wants to participate in. Alex’s parents also require him to offer up evidence for his opinions, such as his reason for liking X-Men, and correct his grammar regularly. Alex’s developing sense of entitlement and verbosity are witnessed in full fruition one afternoon when he and his mother go to the doctor and Alex disputes or questions almost everything the doctor says to him. Alex demonstrates his ability to negotiate with authority when he asks the doctor to check for the bumps under his arm. When they leave the doctor’s office, Ms. Williams comments that Alex “seems to be coming along quite nicely” (126), which Lareau believes is indicative of “her view of her son as a project” (126). Inevitably, Alex’s ability to customize situations also results in difficulties with managing his behavior and “role confusion” (131) within the family, as he is treated like an adult one moment and a child the next, but reasoning and logic are still used no matter what.
Although Alexander and Garrett lead similar middle-class lives with a concerted cultivation style of child rearing, there is one key difference between them: their race. Because Alex is Black, his parents are “very concerned about the impact of race” (120) on him. They express that they are thankful Alex seems to rise above his position in society and insist that Alex never “use discrimination as an excuse for not doing his best” (120). His parents monitor activities in advance to ensure that Alex will not be the only Black child participating, and as a result Alex has friends that are both Black and white. Alex’s mother prefers to keep race out of Alex’s peripherals, whereas his father prefers to discuss it openly; Ms. Williams intentionally does this to develop Alex in such a way that he does not view race as a barrier.
Part 2, Chapter 7 Summary: “Language as a Conduit for Social Life: Harold McAllister”
Harold McAllister and his family live in the all-Black public housing project in an apartment that is “simply furnished” (135). Harold is 10 and has two older siblings and one younger; his mother is a single mother living on assistance. She also supports two of her nephews much of the time, as her sister recently lost her home. Ms. McAllister’s twin sister Jilly, who is addicted to cocaine and recently lost custody of her children, stays there often as well. Harold’s common-law stepdad lives with them, and Harold’s biological father visits often. Neither assume a fatherly role, however, except financially. Lareau observes that there are usually seven people staying over per night, and there is very little privacy. Money matters are discussed openly, and the children are cautious about what they consume. They do not press their parents for things. It becomes evident just how much the children are aware of their situation when they are asked by the observer what they would do with a million dollars and Alexander answers “I’d buy [my family] clothes […] and sneakers […] And I’d buy them all some food” (139).
Similar to the Williams family, Ms. McAllister wants the best for her children; however, through the accomplishment of natural growth, her parenting style manifests differently and leans toward necessity, discipline, and comfort; “in all this, language plays an important, practical role” (139). Directives are issued diplomatically, but respect is expected from the children. Extended family is crucial like in other working-class families. Language plays a different role in Harold’s family as well, as he does not share the same skillset that Alex in the middle-class has regarding language and negotiation. This is reflected in his mother as well, who becomes nervous and unable to fully explain herself at a doctor’s visit. Lareau explains that children, as a result, develop an “emerging sense of constraint” (140) because while the skills Harold develops in his life are inherently valuable, the social structure in which he lives deems middle-class skills more useful. Because of this divide, “institutional preferences evolve into institutional inequality, as differences come to be defined as deficits” (140).
Harold’s family describes him as “plain old Harold” (141) because he spends his time in a very modest and simple way, watching TV, hanging out with friends, playing basketball, or listening to the radio. Family forms the foundation of Harold’s life, and extended family pools together for birthdays and holidays. Harold does not participate in organized activities; instead he tailors each day to whatever he chooses. Harold is much more vibrant and outspoken when he is outdoors and subdued and respectful while inside his apartment with family. Laughter and play are regular parts of the day for the McAllisters. The vast majority of Harold’s neighbors and all of his family are Black, and Harold attends Lower Richmond school, which is mixed race. Ms. McAllister does not express outward concern about the effect of race on her children’s lives; instead, she begrudges those who neglect their children regardless of race. Ms. McAllister emphasizes taking care of her children’s needs and arranges special outings for them when she can manage it. She is protective of her children and even the fieldworkers, and she tells the local drug dealer to leave them alone pre-emptively. Ms. McAllister is also somewhat of a public figure in the neighborhood, and Harold is proud of this trait in his mother. When Harold is with his friends, his parents tend not to intervene in those interactions, and Harold opens up in these situations. Harold’s “discourse here is elaborated and embellished” (153), but he is much more constrained in interacting with adults, and Lareau regrets to note that the skills Harold acquires interacting with friends are not necessarily the skills that will serve him in earning a degree or a career. Physical discipline for the children and fighting amongst the adults are also common, as a field-worker witnesses. One day, when Ms. McAllister’s twin sister is finally asked to leave the house and a large fight erupts, is particularly serious.
Lareau observes significant differences in the use of language between working-class and middle-class families. In the McAllister home, conversation is less frequent than in the Williams or Tallinger home; “sentences tend to be shorter, words simpler, and negotiations infrequent” (146). The silences that are punctuated by conversation are comfortable, though, and body language or facial expressions often replace speech. In this way, language is more of a practical tool than a reasoning or intellect-developing mechanism. Many of the conversations, even just among the children, center on the price of things or money they earned completing tasks. Directives are short, and children generally follow them in “silent obedience” (147). Negotiations do occur between children and adults, but they are often brief. In one instance, Harold expresses his objection to a specific towel set his father wants to buy him in “less than ten words” (148). Lareau insists the brief and often nonverbal communication appears to solidify family bonds in ways that constant speech in middle-class families does not, noting that the family often laughs and shares moments together without even speaking. Lareau asserts that the advantages gleaned from the language style of working-class and poor families are not useless; instead, “it is the specific ways that institutions function that ends up conveying advantages to middle-class children” (160).
Part 2, Chapters 6-7 Analysis
Lareau seeks to find out whether there are key differences in the daily lives of families based on class and race. In these chapters, she focuses specifically on language and how it is integrated and used within two Black families. The first family is upper middle-class, and Alexander Williams is an only child. His life is tailored much the same way as Garrett’s. Speech in the Williams household is open and creative, with wordplay and logical reasoning being frequent objects of conversation. Lareau notes that the ways in which Alex is not only allowed but encouraged to speak out and customize situations to his needs are preparing him for what institutions deem an advantage later in life. He does not fear confrontation or authority, and he uses these situations to have his needs met and more. On the other hand, Harold McAllister lives in a working-class family, and language is conveyed very differently in his home. Conversations are brief and usually involve directives, and “sentences tend to be shorter, words simpler, and negotiations infrequent” (146). In this way, Alex learns a sense of entitlement and Harold learns a sense of constraint about their positions in the world of adults. Although Harold’s speech flows more freely when he is alone with his friends, he is obedient and constrained in his family life. Harold does develop a different set of language skills, but these are not the sort of skills institutions deem useful.
Lareau offers an intimate look into the workings of these two families by depicting the way language is used among them. Language is a powerful tool for forming bonds and developing various aspects of the intellect, and the ways in which language shapes the lives of these two boys are clear. Lareau offers deeply personal examples of conversations and arguments between parents and their children, examining the ways in which language allows them to resolve conflict and negotiate their surroundings: “This is America. It’s my prerogative to change my mind if I want to” (Alex, 130). Lareau urges that there is no one right way to raise children or use language, and the accomplishment of natural growth’s tendency toward using language as a “practical conduit” (146) is not inherently inferior to the concerted cultivation method of detailed and logic-based communication.
