Unequal Childhoods: Class, Race, and Family Life

Lareau features a nine-year-old boy named Tyrec from a working-class, primarily Black neighborhood to illustrate “some aspects of the child rearing strategy [she has] termed the accomplishment of natural growth” (66). Unlike Garrett, Tyrec finds extracurricular activities a nuisance at best and prefers spending his leisure time in open, unstructured play with the neighborhood boys. Tyrec, like other children in the working class, has the freedom to choose what he does, for how long, and with whom. His parents’ main concern is to keep him safe, fed, and clothed, and discipline is used when needed, but Tyrec is generally free to grow. The accomplishment of natural growth strategy allows children to develop “social competencies” (67) and experience new things. Unlike many middle-class children, Tyrec is usually asked to obey his elders and is not developing the white-collar skills that Garrett is. In her study, Lareau observes that there are also gender differences among working-class and poor families in which girls are expected to stay closer to home, are less physically active, and have their “physical bodies more actively scrutinized and shaped by others” (68). The most noticeable difference that Lareau finds, though, is the tendency toward adult-centric activities in the middle-class and the open-ended lifestyle of the working class.

Tyrec lives in a Black working-class neighborhood that his mother describes as having frequent crime. A white neighborhood is nearby, which Tyrec regularly visits to buy treats with his friends. He lives with his older sister, mother, and stepbrother; his father lives about 15 minutes away and is active in Tyrec’s life. He battled drug issues in the past and did not complete high school. Tyrec’s mother is a high school graduate working as a secretary. Ms. Taylor finds it difficult to stretch her $20,000 per year salary to keep her family afloat, and conversations about money are frequent and open within the family. Tyrec is an assertive “sprite of a boy” (70), who has many rules to follow that are designed to keep him safe and ensure that he keeps up with his schooling. Affection is regular in the home, albeit sometimes paired with a subtle “aggressive edge” (72), and Tyrec’s parents are in the midst of trying to repair their marriage, which leads to frequent moments of tension.

In stark contrast to the Tallinger household, the Taylors do not live by the calendar and rarely have planned events scheduled. The children are free to determine their own schedules and how their free time is spent. Games and activities are random and spontaneous, and children often find each other on the street and decide to play. Tyrec’s extended family is a huge part of his life, and most of them live nearby. He is very close with his older sister, who acts as a companion for him in times of need. Although they squabble like any siblings, Lareau notes that “their relationship is far more cordial than the acrimonious sibling relationships [they] observed in middle-class homes, both Black and white” (77). Tyrec does play football for one season, and although his mother is supportive, she finds it taxing and does not appreciate having to rearrange her already stressful life for it. She is ultimately happy when Tyrec decides to quit after one season, favoring time with his friends instead. Tyrec and his friends create informal games with their own rules and strategies for organization, giving Tyrec skills in “peer mediation, conflict management, personal responsibility and strategizing” (80). Tyrec and his friends learn how to entertain and mediate themselves, a skill that children like Garrett often do not develop. Lareau observes that middle-class children tend to crave and feel entitled to adult attention and involvement, whereas working-class and poor children tend to neither “want or expect adult involvement in their play” (81).

Katie Brindle (nine) comes from a poor white neighborhood and lives in an apartment with her mother and baby brother. Katie also has a half-sister who is 18. Their apartment is dilapidated, leaky, and roach infested. Katie’s father is not active in her life, nor is her sister’s father; her baby brother’s dad is the only one who sees him regularly. Katie’s mother, who is preoccupied with the stress of daily living, often declines to pay attention to or spend time with her daughter. This is illustrated with an anecdote of a day where Katie asked her mother to help her build a dollhouse with boxes, and her mother merely replied, “Nah” (82). Lareau explains that this lack of development of a feeling of worth leads children to develop a “sense of constraint” (83) about their position in the world. The worlds of children and adults are seen as separate, and parents tend not to view children’s leisure and creative pursuits as anything more than child’s play. On the plus side, these children learn how to entertain and please themselves without outside gratification, which leads to creativity and spontaneity. Basic needs and daily actions like getting dressed or fed can be a source of frustration and a feeling of incompetence for working-class and poor parents, meaning that they often do not have the time or energy to fully partake in children’s leisure activities. Lareau points out that while families of all classes encounter similar problems, they may be amplified in poorer families. Furthermore, there are differences within class as to how economics are handled as well. Lareau explains that there is an “ongoing interaction between structure and biography” (97) that shapes this variation.

Conversations at home frequently center on appearance and weight, which clearly shows through in the way Katie dresses and behaves. She “likes to think of herself as being about fifteen” (86). She takes care of herself competently, seeks little assistance from adults, and spends much of her time with her cousin Amy. Despite this, Katie still enjoys dress-up and playing with Barbies. Katie has a past of sexual abuse and self-harm. She interacts with children and adults of both Black and white race, and her mother leads the household in an organized fashion. Morning routines are long and strenuous and often come with much resistance from Katie. The family survives on food stamps and public assistance, which leads to continued stress over everyday things. Much of the family’s time is taken up by slow processes, such as bussing and waiting in lines for food stamps. Common chores, such as laundry, are cumbersome and sometimes impossible, as the apartment complex’s machines are often out of order. Sometimes Katie even misses school because there are simply no clean clothes. Choices about where to live or how to get places are few or singular. During the period before the study, the Brindle family experienced some startling news when Jenna, the oldest daughter, was diagnosed with HIV. Katie’s mother attempts to end her life at this news but survived. Katie’s mother has also hit her in the past, even causing a black eye on one occasion. Katie’s self-harm has been an issue since the sexual assault she experienced in first grade, and it continues to be an issue as the researchers observe her and the family (she is often seen hitting herself in the head). Overall, Katie’s family experiences even more problems than other poor families in a similar position, but Lareau notes that there is still love in the Brindle household, though it is often strained or distracted.