Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man

Chapter 2 starts with a question about how to recognize and do away with implicit bias. Studies show that job recruiters interview applicants with White-sounding names twice as often as those with minority-sounding names. This occurs even in companies that explicitly advertise themselves as being pro-diversity. Simply having an ethnic-sounding name leads to half the number of callbacks and results in longer periods of unemployment and an increased risk of poverty and homelessness, conditions which endanger access to health insurance and appropriate health care. This in turn affects self-esteem and mental health.

Implicit bias plays out in a variety of arenas. For example, some taxi drivers do not pick up Black passengers, police disproportionately pull over Black drivers, and hospitals treat Black patients differently than White ones. Learning to recognize one’s biases is critical in the fight against racism. Even people who do not consider themselves to be racist must examine their implicit biases. Acho uses the acronym DENIAL (Don’t Even kNow I Am Lying) to spur people to action. Combating implicit bias demands having uncomfortable conversations about race, spending time with people who belong to different social, racial, and ethnic groups, and doing away with the notion of being color blind, which glosses over differences. White people must identify their prejudices and empathize for those who are not like them. They must also avoid grouping people together, focusing instead on individuality, differences, and the particularities that make people human.

Chapter 3 begins with a question about White privilege and the guilt people feel about benefiting from racism. The Emancipation Proclamation of 1863 freed Black people from slavery, but it did not create a level playing field. President Andrew Jackson annulled the wartime proclamation promising land to some freed families, while Jim Crow laws enforced racial segregation, disenfranchising Black people politically and economically. The Civil Rights movement, for all its important gains, did not end racism.

Today, rich Black people remain disadvantaged because White privilege is about race, not wealth. White people can and often do face disadvantages, but these are not based on the color of their skin. White privilege normalizes Whiteness, allowing White people to walk into stores and see products that cater to them, and to turn on the TV and see people who look like them. More consequential is the benefit of doubt afforded to White people: White people move through the world without police harassing them based on the color of their skin. They are presumed innocent even when they are accused of heinous crimes.

White privilege is a hard topic because it calls into question the American Dream. As Acho points out, however, the US is not a meritocracy. Ambition and hard work do not guarantee success. Eliminating White privilege demands that White Americans acknowledge and address their privilege. Listening to people of color, amplifying their voices, and making space for them in varied contexts are key parts of the solution.

Chapter 4 opens with a question about fashion and cultural appropriation. A White woman wearing a full head of braids exemplifies this problem. Acho compares cultural appropriation to plagiarism. Borrowing influences from other cultures is not necessarily problematic. However, issues arise when it is done without citation and with no knowledge of history. For example, Blackface is offensive because it originated in a practice that mocked Black people and their culture. Thus, a White woman in a Beyoncé costume should not darken her skin because doing so gestures to the racist practice of Blackface.

Exchanging ideas, styles, and traditions is both normal and desirable in a multicultural society. Exchange becomes cultural appropriation when members of a dominant group (White people) borrow from the disempowered (Black people and other minorities). The practice glosses over oppression, while simultaneously allowing White people to profit from the culture and labor of the oppressed. Cultural appropriation can also perpetuate stereotypes. In addition to fashion and sports, the music industry is rife with cultural appropriation, as evidenced by Eminem, the best-selling rapper of all time.

Acho stresses the importance of talking about what constitutes cultural appropriation. The goal is not to prevent White people from drawing inspiration from Black culture, but rather, to celebrate these borrowings as Black culture. Being informed is critical to keeping inspiration from becoming appropriation. Some things, however, are never acceptable, such as Blackface or borrowing sacred artifacts and garments like Sikh turbans from other cultures.

Chapter 5 starts with a question about Black anger. The mythical Angry Black Man is someone who sees racism everywhere, even if he is not a victim. Historically, Black men were viewed as overly aggressive and physically threatening, especially to White women. This stereotype appeared in films, fueled the KKK, and was used to justify lynchings. Acho argues that the stereotype holds a grain of truth. Although Black men are not inherently dangerous to White women, they are angry about racism. During slavery, White masters could rape and exploit the women they enslaved with impunity. By contrast, simply looking at a White woman could cost a Black man his life, with no repercussions for the killers.

Acho draws parallels between past racial injustices and racism today. White women calling the police on Black men who are not committing crimes (dubbed Karens) exemplify the use of Whiteness as a tool of control, as do the killings of George Floyd, Trayvon Martin, and others by White men, including police officers. Black men are broadly viewed as threatening simply because they are Black. Resisting arrest can get a Black man killed, but the same cannot be said of a White man. Acho asks readers to question the myth of the Angry Black Man, to consider where the stereotype comes from and whom it serves. He urges White people to pay attention to the weaponization of Whiteness against Black people, to avoid being Karens, and to refrain from perpetuating violence against Black people. He also reminds readers that Black men sometimes get angry about racism and other things. Black men, like everyone else, are entitled to their emotions.

Chapter 6 begins with a question about the N-word. Acho unequivocally states that White people should refrain from using it. The N-word is more than an insult—it is a reminder of a time when Black people were treated as chattel. Etymologically, the N-word relates to the Latin word niger, which means the color black. This became “negro” in the Americas during colonial times. The first documented use of the N-word as a pejorative stems from 1775. By the 1800s, the word was part of the American lexicon, appearing on cigarette boxes and on food packaging, as well as in books, music, and the media. The N-word fell out of widespread usage in Black communities during the Civil Rights era, until hip-hop artists picked it up again in the late 1980s. By the 1990s, rappers commonly used the word in various iterations.

Some Black people use the N-word as a way of reclaiming power, thereby emptying it of its original malice. Others use it as a term of endearment during intimate exchanges with other Black people. Even these uses of the word, however, are controversial. Many Black people believe that there is no way to soften, sanitize, or transform the N-word. In short, they believe that it was, and remains, a term that divests Black people of their humanity.

It is unacceptable for White people to use the N-word under any circumstances. Acho asks readers to reflect on their choice of words, and to consider how language mirrors their deep-seated beliefs.