36 pages • 1 hour read
Junot DíazThis Is How You Lose Her
Fiction | Short Story Collection | Adult | Published in 2010A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Themes
The Madonna-Whore Complex
First brought to larger public attention by Sigmund Freud, the Madonna-whore complex is a psychological complex perceived to manifest in males who view females in binary: either as saintly (Madonnas) or debased sex workers (whores). Effectively, men harboring this complex seek a sexual partner they can debase while not being able to be sexually attracted to a partner they respect.
This dichotomy of the sacred and the profane is perhaps seen most clearly in the opening story of the collection, “The Sun, the Moon, the Stars,” through Magda and Lucy. Yunior effectively places Magda on a pedestal but cannot have the type of sexual relationship he wants and needs with her. In other stories, we see Yunior’s love interests perhaps begin on the “whore” side of the figurative coin, and, when they attempt to be a loving, nurturing partner, Yunior cuts ties with them (as in “Flaca”) or has already made sure that their relationship cannot be legitimate (as in “Alma”).
Pura from “The Pura Principle” also reflects this dichotomy. In her youth, Yunior is intensely attracted to her, particularly given the fact that Rafa regularly has sex with her in the room he shares with Yunior. Nine years later, when Yunior sees her at a laundromat, she is far less physically attractive to him. Nevertheless, he watches transfixed as she folds laundry—a role generally associated with maternal nurturing. He still wants to run away with her, albeit for a very different reason than in his youth. Thus, Pura transitions from the sexualized end of the spectrum to the maternal end of the spectrum.
Hypermasculinity Among Dominican American Men
In Yunior’s view, Dominican culture has historically possessed a high level of machismo or hypermasculinity—the exaggeration of stereotypically male behavior. This would include traits like aggression, physical strength, and robust heterosexuality. Violence is manly. Men do not cook or clean. Men are largely uncaring toward women, and scenarios that arrive as dangerous are exciting.
We see elements of hypermasculinity manifest in both Rafa and Yunior in the stories comprising the collection, and their father, Papi, would seem to truly personify the term. Yunior himself is aware of this, stating, “Shit, your father used to take you on his pussy runs, leave you in the car while he ran up into the cribs to bone his girlfriends. [...] You had hoped the gene missed you, skipped a generation, but clearly you were kidding yourself” (161).
While hypermasculinity is correctly not presented in a positive light by Díaz to the reader, it is important to acknowledge the complicated relationship Yunior has with hypermasculinity, as opposed to solely dismissing it. This is learned behavior on the part of Yunior, from both his family and his culture. To entirely disavow hypermasculine aspects of his own identity is, in turn, to eschew his Dominican heritage and assert that what he “learned” from his father and brother is actually wrong. Yunior, by the end of the collection, is trying to effectively break the cycle of abuse that hypermasculinity places upon relationships and families. Moreover, given the fact that Yunior was a victim of what in many states would be considered statutory rape by Miss Lora, Yunior’s hypermasculinity may not be entirely genetic or cultural, as he suggests.
Racism and Colorism Among Latin American Communities
Both racism and colorism are constants in the stories in This Is How You Lose Her, sewn into the fabric of both American and Dominican culture. Yunior encounters ample racism in Boston, in “The Cheater’s Guide to Love,” and is harassed regularly, stating, “Two seconds later, security approaches and asks you for ID. The next day a whitekid on a bike throws a can of Diet Coke at you” (191). Further, Yunior’s family encounters a different manifestation of racism in “Invierno”: that of White flight, with White residents of a neighborhood collectively and indirectly communicating their racist tendencies by abandoning neighborhoods altogether once enough non-Whites live there.
Colorism, or prejudice against individuals with a darker skin tone—especially among people of the same ethnic or racial group—also verges on omnipresent in these stories. The Dominican Republic has a sordid history of colorism, including genocide and expulsion of Black Dominicans to Haiti. Díaz presents this colorism in the difference between Yunior and Rafa’s hair, writing, “While Rafa’s hair was straight and glided through a comb like a Caribbean grandparent’s dream, my hair still had enough of the African to condemn me to endless combings and out-of-this-world haircuts” (126). Further, Papi’s obsession with darker-skinned women can be viewed as colorism. The book reads, “Do you like Negras, my father asked. [...] [W]hile I wanted to blurt that I didn’t like girls in any denomination, I said instead, Oh yes, and he smiled. They’re beautiful, he said, and lit a cigarette. They’ll take care of you better than anyone” (129).
Finally, Yunior himself is guilty of making generalizations based on colorism, as in “The Cheater’s Guide to Love” when he suggests his fiancé would have been far more accepting of his infidelity had she been a “blanquita,” a slang term for a light-skinned woman of color.
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By Junot Díaz
