Then She Was Gone

Laurel asks Floyd about the silver candlesticks in Poppy’s room, and he tells her he found them at Noelle’s house when he went to get Poppy’s things. Laurel also asks if Noelle’s family ever met Poppy, and Floyd lies, saying Noelle never told him about any family she might have had. He tells Laurel that when he went to get Poppy’s things, Noelle’s house was “grim” (292), and that the worst part was all of the dead caged hamsters in the basement. Laurel remarks that the only good thing Noelle did was give birth to Poppy, and Floyd looks away with “haunted” eyes before agreeing (293).

The day Noelle is secretly planning to leave for Ireland with Poppy, Floyd tells Noelle that Poppy told him that she hates her, and he’s worried for Poppy’s well-being. He talked to a social worker and plans to keep Poppy with him. Noelle snaps. She tells Floyd Poppy is not their child, but that she was made by, “A girl called Ellie,” and donated sperm that she purchased online (298). Horrified and livid, Floyd attacks Noelle. 

Laurel thinks about Hanna and her secret relationship with Theo. At first, she thinks Theo chose Hanna as a “consolation prize” since he couldn’t be with Ellie (301), but then she remembers the beautiful, smiling version of Hanna she saw leaving the supermarket. She realizes that her impression of Hanna as being “intrinsically unhappy” isn’t true (302). When Ellie disappeared, Laurel shut down, and as a result, lost her relationship with Hanna. Paul says that Hanna needs forgiveness from Laurel, “for not being Ellie” (303). Laurel calls Hanna and leaves a voicemail, apologizing and asking for forgiveness. When she hangs up, she feels “relief and weightlessness pass through her” after taking the first step toward mending her relationship with Hanna (304). 

When Laurel goes to Floyd’s house, Floyd and Poppy leave to get a Christmas tree, and Laurel looks in Floyd’s study. She finds a drawer of newspaper clippings about Ellie’s disappearance and realizes that six months before she even met him, he had been collecting these clippings. Floyd and Poppy return with the Christmas tree, and they decorate it together. As they stand admiring the tree, Floyd tells Laurel he loves her. Although Laurel returns the sentiment, as Floyd pulls her into a hug, she feels something is not right. 

Laurel visits her mother, who can tell that Laurel is feeling uneasy about something. Laurel also calls Blue to ask her more about her opinions of Floyd. Blue says Floyd takes cues from others for his behavior, rather than just being himself. She comments on his relationship with Poppy, saying he uses her as a “cloak” to make him appear normal (313). Blue asserts that Floyd is “pretending to be someone he’s not in order to get you to love him” (313). This time, Blue’s words resonate with Laurel, because they echo her feelings from the day before, standing by the Christmas tree. 

After talking to Blue, Laurel is convinced that Floyd is pretending to be someone he’s not. However, all through her day at work, Floyd sends her Christmas-y text messages and emojis. By the end of the day, Laurel is back to thinking that everything is fine and that Blue’s ideas were strange.

Floyd asks Laurel to come to his house early on Christmas Eve before the family gathering because he has a gift for her that’s too large to bring to the party. Laurel feels a sense of dread and knows that he has some “ulterior purpose” in asking her to come (317). As a precaution, she texts Hanna and Paul to tell them where she’ll be, and to send someone to get her if she’s late to the party. When she pulls up to Floyd’s house, she sits in her car for a moment, gathering herself before facing Floyd.