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93 pages 3 hours read

Leslie Connor

The Truth as Told by Mason Buttle

Fiction | Novel | Middle Grade | Published in 2018

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Themes

Writing Your Own Story

The idea of writing your own story begins with the Dragon, a piece of voice-to-text software that allows Mason, who can’t read or write, to finally tell a story of his own. This power, which he did not have before, leads to more metaphorical ways that he “writes his own story;” he begins to create his own sense of self and differentiate his identity from the view that others have of him. This becomes particularly important when Mason is associated with the death of his best friend, and his reputation is inaccurate and muddled by fear and gossip.

Mason begins the novel with a strong sense of self, and a particularly strong idea about his limitations. He says, “I have been with my brain for twelve long years. I know how it puts things wrong” (2). Mason is embarrassed by some of his disabilities, especially his excessive sweating, but he is also accepting of them. However, Mason is not as good at standing up for himself. He learns this lesson early on from Annalissetta Yang, who tells him “I am capable. I can do things for myself. So if you help me when I don’t need help, you underestimate me” (60). Annalissetta’s idea of her identity and her disabilities begins to change Mason’s view of himself, and how he sees his identity.

Mason struggles to write his own story when Lt. Baird comes into the picture. Lt. Baird is convinced Mason has committed a crime that lead to Benny’s murder. Mason has a crisis of confidence when he realizes many people believe this about him. Mason is a fighter, and he fights to find the truth, not for himself, but for his friend. Ultimately, the story that Mason writes for himself is one of love, and what he loves. Ms. Blinny and his time writing his own story via the Dragon allow him to become himself more fully. As Ms. Blinny says, “Please. Don’t be afraid. Live your big life, Mason! You are not bad luck. You are not stupid or dangerous or any of those things” (243). 

Overcoming Grief

Grief plays an enormous role in this novel. Not only Mason’s grief, but also the grief of Benny’s parents, of the community of Merrimack, and of the entire Buttle family.

Mason describes the pain of losing his mother, grandfather, and the orchard, as a series of misfortunes. “Bing. Bang. Boom.”  At first, he sees these losses, as physical. Soon, he comes to understand the emotional burden he bears, and how it is different from a typical child.

Mason has many questions about grief. He doesn’t totally understand what to do with his memories of Benny, or of the now-broken relationship between himself and his friend’s parents. He wonders how the Universe can be seen as a giving entity, when, in fact, it has taken so much from him. He grapples with the unfairness of the pain he has endured, wondering if he has a curse—he thinks, “I am not sure about the Universe. Because. Well. Some things are gone. Bing. Bang. Boom. So then what is there to say about the stuff the universe takes away?” (148). Without an answer to these questions, Mason blames himself. He is the curse that brought pain to his family and to Benny.

As the novel progresses, Mason and other people in his life become more able to talk about and understand the consequences of their grief. Andy apologizes to Mason after finding closure for Benny’s death, saying “I forgot who you are, Mason. Franklin too. We are sorry. We got lost in our pain” (314). Grandma and Uncle Drum also begin to talk about their pain, and the way it has changed their view of the world. By the end of the novel, they finally begin the work of digging themselves out of their grief and provide a map for Mason to dig himself out of his pain, too. 

Overcoming Trauma

Mason experiences a huge amount of trauma in the novel, and that is the reason he spends so much time with a school social worker. His trauma is particularly apparent in the way he relives the pain of losing his best friend and finding his body. He says, walking through the orchard early in the novel, “Still hard to look at that spot. The missing ladder. And Benny at the bottom” (131). The act of seeing that place, and the tree fort, brings up memories that haunt Mason. He cannot dissociate the place with the pain that comes with it.

Mason also struggles with trauma when he tries to explain the situation to Lt. Baird, who wants him to solve the case. Lt. Baird’s suspicions haunt Mason, who feels it is his responsibility to solve a puzzle he doesn’t have all the pieces for. He says, while being questioned, “I have said it all before. I can’t do it again. I don’t want to see Benny the way I saw him. His neck. Don’t want to remember how it was to try to make him breathe” (142). Each time Mason recalls the story, he is forced to return to the traumatic memory of the death of his friend.

At the end of the novel, Mason is finally able to find closure and discover a way out of his trauma. Part of that trajectory comes from his family showing him how to move forward through grief, and part of it comes from the case being solved and the puzzle completed. Mason is also able to better appreciate the way that his grief can be experienced less viscerally, rather than traumatically. He sits on memorial benches or looks at sunbeams to remember his friend. By associating these positive memories with the lost ones he loves, he can find peace. 

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