The Third Gilmore Girl: A Memoir

Bishop’s mom, Jane, is portrayed as a woman with great wasted potential. Proficient in ballet and piano, Jane earned a bachelor’s degree in English in the 1930s. However, soon afterward, Jane married and became a mother, driven by the stigma of spinsterhood and Lawrence’s Bishop’s unromantic assertion that he “was probably her very last chance” (19). Jane finally divorced her cold, bullying, and unfaithful husband when her daughter was in her teens. 

Jane was a devoted mother but advised that “Once you have children, you’ll never be free again” (26). Bishop heeded this warning, resolving not to succumb to societal pressures to become a mother. However, she inadvertently imitated her mother’s mistake when she married Peter Miller, who was also unfaithful and addicted to gambling. In hindsight, the author sees a pattern in the poor romantic choices made by the female members of her family, beginning with Jane’s absent father, who set “the bar incredibly low for my mother when it came to choosing a husband” (23).

The memoir depicts Jane’s childhood as an unhappy one. Her mother, Louise, who was 16 when she became pregnant with Jane, resented her daughter for derailing her life. Moreover, Jane experienced the stigma of being fatherless at a time when nuclear families were seen as the norm. Consequently, on becoming a mother herself, Jane was determined that her children would feel loved and wanted. Bishop describes feeling nourished and supported by her mom’s “singular brand of pride and love” throughout her life (147). Jane was instrumental in igniting Kelly’s passion for the performing arts, introducing her daughter to ballet. She also underwent significant sacrifices so that Bishop could pursue her dreams, such as playing piano in exchange for professional lessons and moving the family to Southern California so that classes with Dimitri Romanoff could continue.

The author recounts two incidents when her mother uncharacteristically upset her. The first was when a young Bishop asked her mother if she would grow up to be pretty, and Jane replied, “You’ll be very different. You’ll be dramatic. And you’ll have a lot of flair” (31). While the response hurt, it reflected Jane’s desire to be honest with her daughter. The answer also suggests that Jane perceived her daughter’s qualities as deeper than surface prettiness. The second uncharacteristic incident was Jane’s vocal disapproval when Bishop moved in with her boyfriend, Roy. Jane’s experience of the stigma of fatherlessness as a child may have led her to fear for her daughter’s social ostracization.

After falling while shoveling snow from her drive, Jane Bishop died from a heart attack. Describing her death as “the worst, most devastating thing that had ever happened to me” (149), Bishop conveys the profound impact of losing the one person who was loving, supportive, and protective throughout her life.

The TV writer, director, and producer Amy Sherman-Palladino plays a pivotal role in The Third Gilmore Girl. On first meeting Sherman-Palladino at the Gilmore Girls auditions, Bishop describes the “strong intuitive connection” (160) she felt with the show’s writer. Born in 1966, Sherman-Palladino was Bishop’s junior by over 20 years. Nevertheless, the memoir emphasizes that they had much in common. Like Bishop, Sherman-Palladino began her show business career as a dancer. She was also a strong and straight-talking personality who “knew the value of her work and […] was crystal clear about how it should be done” (160). The writer’s decision to walk away from Gilmore Girls when she could not negotiate a satisfactory contract echoes Bishop’s decision to leave A Chorus Line when Michael Bennett refused a raise.

In her memoir, Bishop praises Sherman-Palladino’s scripts for their humor, subtlety, and humanity. Through the seasons of Gilmore Girls, Sherman-Palladino saw “to it that our characters kept growing and revealing new layers of themselves. She never backed down from an opportunity to let us be very sweet or very dark, which made our jobs even more of an exhilarating surprise from one script to the next” (175). The Importance of Collaboration in the Arts is highlighted by the intimation that Sherman-Palladino’s exceptional writing abilities enabled the cast to give more nuanced and engaging performances.

The women’s mutual admiration for each other’s talents led to an ongoing professional relationship. Sherman-Palladino created the role of Fanny in the 2012 TV series Bunheads for Bishop. She also offered her the guest role of Benedetta in her hit 2016 Amazon Prime series The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Furthermore, The Third Gilmore Girl also pays tribute to the two women’s lasting friendship. Bishop affectionately recalls attending a Pro-Choice rally with Sherman-Palladino and expresses gratitude for being offered the role of Benedetta in the aftermath of Lee’s death: “Amy Sherman-Palladino shook up my universe when I needed it most. That’s friendship. That’s loyalty. That’s an example for us all to learn from and follow” (221).