The Rock and The River

“As we walked up the path to the porch, I had an odd urge to climb onto the long slope of the roof and lie there, alone and away from everything.” 

Sam describes his instincts to retreat and avoid conflict. Since he calls his urge “odd,” he knows that it is not appropriate, and it is apparent that he is not self-aware enough to know what the instinct is really about. It is from this youthful state that Sam grows.

“Stick was always like that—stubborn and patient. A lot of things ended up going his way because I’d get bored with the fight and give in.” 

Sam again admits his tendency to give up, but he also acknowledges how patience earns Stick victories by giving him the ability to simply not give up. Yet Sam also reveals his understanding of the arbitrary nature of success in working toward progress by describing Stick’s victories as simply “things ended up going his way.”

“Dr. King is in our living room, and you want to sit here contemplating armed revolution? I don’t think so.” 

Stick notes the absurd scene Bucky has created by sneaking in while Dr. King is visiting and trying to talk to the boys about the Black Panther movement.

“Of course, there were always guns in the ghetto, but not like this. Not facing off with the police.” 

Sam clarifies his shock with the Black Panther magazine while also expressing his acceptance of guns in general. The guns are not what shocks him. It is the guns being pointed at police that shocks him. This quote speaks to Sam’s everyday circumstances, as he’s surrounded by violence.

“Every day, I wake up thinking if I knew what tomorrow would look like, it would make today a whole lot easier. Change is never easy. When this whole thing started, we didn’t think it would take as long as it has.”

Father lets Sam in on the uncertainty he feels and how his expectations when he started were not in line with reality. This revelation shatters any illusions Sam has about how adults feel in the world and lets Sam know that uncertainty and disappointment are common adult experiences.

“Glass was breaking, raining down like tears against the asphalt. Things fell all around me, inside me, until it seemed there was nothing left.” 

Sam describes the destruction of the riot as a physical manifestation of the psychological destruction exacted by the murder of Dr. King. He also illustrates the desolation left after the destruction. Again, we see Sam’s disillusionment (and development) and what hope he has for the Civil Rights Movement seems to also shatter.

“The weather had turned cold again, nearly overnight, as if even the sky knew something terrible had happened.”

In this example of the pathetic fallacy, or the attribution of human responses to inanimate things, Sam conjures up unity between society and nature. He presents the weather as a witness to Dr. King’s murder. This quote identifies Sam’s feeling that the world, and nature itself, is changed by King’s death. While Sam’s feeling in a strict sense isn’t true, it denotes the change of his personal worldview and his growth as a character.

“‘Those kids are going to get themselves killed,’ he muttered. The words dug into me, their truth and their wrongness colliding deep in my chest.” 

Sam describes his physical reaction to the contradictory nature of the world in which he must act. He believes the Panthers endanger themselves, but he also believes that it is wrong and unfair that they live in a world where their actions could lead to their deaths.

“Without another word, Father laid his head down on the table and wept. The sound of it shook every part of me […]. The order of the universe had changed.” 

Sam expresses the strong effect Father’s vulnerability has on him. He also recognizes that Stick leaving the house has tremendous consequences for his life. His description of this is concise and direct, as if what has happened has shocked him silent.

“All I saw was people, as far as I could see. I thought everyone in the world had come to Washington, that we were celebrating the end of all the protests. I couldn’t imagine that there was anyone left in the world to hurt us. Remembering the extreme joy I’d felt at that moment made the ache within me now seem ten thousand times worse.” 

In this flashback to the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom, Sam feels the sting of the world being larger than he knew. He also contrasts the hopefulness he felt in 1963 with the hopelessness he feels in 1968.

“Some things should never be said out loud, even if they’re true.” 

Sam matures to consider other people’s feelings when he speaks. He realizes that the truth is not always the most important point to make.

“Leroy says the worst thing is for someone to feel hopeless. But, that’s what happens when you live where we live too long. You get so you can’t see past where you’re at, and you can’t believe there’s anything better for you.” 

Raheem explains life in the projects to Sam in a way that Sam can relate to so that he can understand what Maxie needs support. At the same time, Raheem’s explanation depicts the largeness of the world being a positive thing in addition to the scary thing that Sam is grappling with.

“People look at someone, they see what’s messed up about their life, not what’s good about it […]. I thought we weren’t like that.” 

Maxie reminds Sam that there is an alternative to a hopeless outlook on life. She thought Sam shared her hope, but his insults made it clear to her that she was wrong about that.

“I stood aside, afraid to move or speak against the fragile balance in the air. Had Stick grown taller? His eyes gained power? He seemed as big as Father, and as strong.” 

Sam notices that Stick no longer seems smaller and less powerful than Father and that Stick’s growth has created a new, delicate dynamic between the two of them. Sam is careful not to disrupt their relationship.

“We were in the wrong seats. When we drove along the lake, Stick liked to sit where he could see the water, and me where I could see the buildings. But things like that didn’t matter anymore.” 

Sam recognizes that the things that matter to him have changed when he remembers the ritual he and Stick used to share when driving along the lake. The boys’ childhood interests have been subsumed by their participation in the movement.

“I couldn’t see how to move in either direction, but it hurt like hell standing still.” 

Sam explains his continued grappling with action versus inaction. While he feels like he has disappointed Father, he does not know what exactly the Panthers are after. In his desire to be right and not make mistakes, he is uncomfortable doing anything that does not guarantee he will be “right.”

“We stepped outside, and my eyes opened wide. There was a whole line of brothers out there. Brothers in black leather jackets. Brothers with guns.” 

Sam describes how he felt when the Black Panthers helped his family get to the car when media reporters swarmed their home after the attack on Father. His repetition of the word “brothers” signals the familial role that they played.

“The bundle of dynamite burning in me suddenly diffused. She could do that somehow—melt me when I was cold, cool me when I was too hot to handle myself.” 

Sam explains the comfort he finds in Maxie and how she moderates his extremes. Maxie takes on a grounding role in Sam’s life, and in doing so, she demonstrates her strength. She can diffuse a “bundle of dynamite.”

“For once, I saw more than Bucky on the pavement. I saw his smile, his gray overalls, the orange suit he’d worn the day they brought him into the courthouse. I saw him shoveling oatmeal into his mouth, and lifting his sister Shenelle onto his shoulders.” 

Sam replaces his hopeless view of Bucky with a more hopeful view. In line with the focus that Maxie and Stick keep, Sam understands that there is another plot line to Bucky’s life beyond the constant racism he faces. His recognition of this more hopeful view marks another step forward in his maturity.

“Even though we wouldn’t have admitted it out loud, in our wildest dreams, we never thought Bucky would be acquitted.”

Sam explains that no one expected Bucky to be acquitted, evidencing both their loss of hope and their dedication to continuing their work no matter the result. Their doubts, however, only make them more celebratory when they reunite with Bucky.

“Anger can come into you so tangibly, so physically it’s like a separate person. As if someone enters your body, stands there with one fist in our throat and the other tight around your gut. It’s like tears you can’t cry, but stronger, more insistent. Deeper. And it won’t let go. It’s cramped and it’s crying, but it won’t let go.”

Sam’s description of his anger as “like a separate person” allows him to gain control of it. His detailed documentation of it allows him to identify it for what it is rather than confuse it with his core identity.

“The hate in the cop’s eyes, the reciprocal hate blossoming within myself.” 

Sam reveals his clear understanding of how hate is contagious, and this understanding gives him mastery over the emotion in himself. He knows that the hate he feels is a product of the hate others have placed on him. With this knowledge, he can break the cycle.

“I drowned in recollection of the cop’s hateful look, the way he’d shoved my face into the ground. The fact that the handcuffs and his boot on my shoulder had kept me from reaching Stick in his last living moments. The thought twisted my core into hopeless knots, tight enough to carry me to a place where I could see only action, no consequences. Where I could feel myself pull the trigger and things could still turn out okay. I saw myself, gun in hand, standing tall over the cop. Killing his power. The deep intention separated me from every other thing in existence. Me and my rage, alone.”

Sam unravels the way hopelessness and rage are coloring his response to Stick’s death. By identifying the hopelessness and rage, he can separate them from himself enough to decide how much of his response is his own and how much of it is the result of his past experiences and the emotions they invoke.