49 pages • 1 hour read
Lara Love HardinThe Many Lives of Mama Love: A Memoir of Lying, Stealing, Writing, and Healing
Nonfiction | Autobiography / Memoir | Adult | Published in 2023A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Chapters 20-22Chapter Summaries & Analyses
Chapter 20 Summary: “Many Lives”
Hardin’s success at Idea Architects has given her newfound self-respect. In the wake of her trip to India, she begins to see her successes as a bank account in which she logs credibility.
Hardin goes to court to get off probation, but she has not paid back the victims of her crimes. In a deal afforded her by the state, she agrees to accept a ruined credit score in order to get off probation. Being in the courtroom feels demeaning because Hardin feels she has proven that she is better than this.
This experience prompts a moment of realization: “And if it was hard for me to navigate all the conflicting requirements and illogical bureaucracy as a white, educated woman with some social support, how difficult was it for others without the same sort of opportunities and privilege?” (276). Finally, Hardin admits that she benefited from her status and was afforded leniency when others were not. She accepts that she was set up to succeed while others were set up to fail.
Hardin’s mother dies after suffering from Alzheimer’s, and Hardin confides in Hinton about her difficulty in forgiving her. Ray explains that he forgave the state of Alabama so that they would have no more influence on his life. Soon after, Hardin’s boss gets an email reproaching him for trusting Hardin. In response, he grants Hardin full access to the agency’s bank accounts, proving his trust in her. Hardin realizes that all this support fulfills her need for the unconditional acceptance she sought in recovery: “I thought what I craved was approval and praise, but it’s simpler than that. I craved acceptance. For all the different versions of me I have been, and for the many lives I have lived” (283).
Chapter 21 Summary: “Real Power”
Hardin gets a call from Hinton, who tells her Oprah has called. She has chosen their book for her book club. Hardin flies to New York for the announcement. She lunches with Oprah after the announcement, and Oprah tells her that real power is putting your name on things. She decides that she is tired of searching for acceptance, hiding her past, and trying to prove she has merit and worth.
On vacation in Hawaii, Kaden nearly drowns. He has anxiety, doesn’t like where they live, and wants to move. He is struggling. Sam and Hardin buy a big house on a large plot, and Kaden appears to heal quickly in the new setting. They all feel better in the new house, and they are happy.
Chapter 22 Summary: “The Worst Thing I Have Ever Done”
Hardin does a TEDx Talk on hope, telling her story to strangers. Revealing her past is the one thing she’s been afraid of doing for over a decade. She no longer feels like she is “The Neighbor From Hell,” and she feels she has the right to say that she is someone new and better now: “I condemned others for not being able to see beyond my past when I was the one who couldn’t see beyond my past” (201). She has found peace with herself, has truly forgiven herself, and feels whole. She leaves Idea Architects to start True Literary, her own agency. She and Sam are married, Kaden is graduating high school, and the other boys are already out of college. DJ is sober and has become a better father. In conclusion, she states, “[T]here is no other person I’d rather be than who I am” (303).
Chapters 20-22 Analysis
In these chapters, Hardin quickly rises to fame and acceptance in society. More importantly, a transformation occurs in Hardin. In early chapters, she does not take responsibility for her own actions and blames everyone but herself. In later chapters, she works hard for her rehabilitation and earns the respect and trust of her boss. Finally, she allows herself forgiveness. It is self-forgiveness and her ability to reconcile Mama Love with the successful literary agent she has become that gives her peace. Oprah’s comment that real power is putting your name on things helps Hardin move out of others’ shadow, own her story, and start her own business.
From inmate to successful co-author and business owner, Hardin has found a way to reconcile her past with her present, finding comfort in her many lives. She does this by being open and honest about her struggles: at first on the comedy stage, then on the TEDx stage, and finally in this memoir. The more she puts herself in the limelight, showcasing her darkest moments juxtaposed with her successes, the more she exemplifies what it means to truly change your life.
Her success is in part due to the many chances she was given to turn her life around and the privileges she enjoyed that others in the system did not. These opportunities helped her escape the cycle of addiction, shed her shame associated with incarceration, find lucrative employment, and rebuild her life. Fully accepting her privilege helps her gain empathy and let go of self-pity. This shift in perspective humbles her and allows her to accept love from others and forgive herself.
The Many Lives of Mama Love is a redemption memoir and serves as a roadmap for others navigating addiction, struggling with self-worth, or seeking forgiveness. Like Archbishop Tutu and the Dalai Lama, Hardin offers an example of what it means to live a life of introspection, kindness, and honesty.
