The Magic Of Thinking Big

People communicate their attitudes through many things, including facial expressions, tone of voice, and bodily stance. The right attitudes are vital to success; especially important to cultivate are “I’m activated,” “You are important,” and “Service first” (168).

In college, Schwartz took a history class taught by a professor so dull that students fell asleep or chatted among themselves. The professor would scold the class for not listening, but Schwartz realized that others become enthusiastic only if the speaker is enthusiastic.

One way to develop enthusiasm for a topic is to search deeply into it. Seemingly boring subjects become fascinating when you learn their intricacies. In meeting people, learn about their background, their ideas, and their dreams. To move successfully to a new community, get to know it well and learn to think with the enthusiasm of a local.

Another way to increase enthusiasm is as follows: “In everything you do, life it up” (173). Big handshakes, big smiles, big thank-you’s add energy; speaking with vitality creates eagerness in others.

A third way to pump up enthusiasm is to speak only of good news. Bad news never makes friends, and complaining about the weather accomplishes nothing, but pointing out the good things that are happening evokes happy energy in others. If you feel great, let people know it. The test is whether people feel better for having spoken with you.

The most important psychological need that people have is to feel important, yet most of us usually treat others as unimportant unless they have something we need. People will go out of their way to help a person, though, if that person makes them feel important. Doing this helps you feel important, especially when they thereafter make a point of greeting you each day.

Express appreciation for others and compliment them. Address them by their names. Share the glory: When you win an award, for example, thank the people who helped you earn it.

At home, ask yourself daily what you can do to make your family happy. It doesn’t have to be expensive; what counts is the thought that they matter to you. Even if you’re busy, plan to spend regular time with them. After all, they’re the main point of all your hard work. One executive always spent 7:30 to 8:30 in the evening with his children, then did two hours of take-home work, then spent an hour talking with his wife. Sundays were entirely given over to his family, which was good for them and energized him.

The way to make money is not to focus on the money; instead, focus on service. When we’re only willing to do more if we get a raise, that raise never comes. When executives budget cheaply to save money, the results are inferior, and they earn less money. It’s better to do more than the client expects; this plants “money seeds” that grow more money in the future.

The support of others is essential to success. Without cooperative workers, managers fail; without buyers, salespeople make no earnings. That support, though, comes from likability much more than technical skill. Likability isn’t random: Successful people learn to be likable. American President Lyndon Johnson had a written, ten-point plan for success with others that included remembering people’s names, being easygoing, not being a know-it-all, and liking and appreciating others.

Friendship can’t be bought: People appreciate gifts, but not if they’re an attempt to bribe, which generates contempt. On the other hand, it’s good to initiate efforts to make friends: Successful people introduce themselves, start conversations, do so with a pleasant remark, give and get names, and follow up with a friendly note or call.

People often openly disapprove of others, but this downgrades a person’s likability. Instead, recognize that nobody’s perfect, that they have a right to be different, and that they hate being told they’re wrong.

In receiving criticism—for example, from the boss—it’s tempting to listen to “Channel N,” the negative channel in your mind, which complains about the treatment and tempts you to argue with the critic. Instead, listen to “Channel P,” the positive channel, which will suggest following the advice and thanking the giver when the results turn out well.

Listening to either channel causes a “chain reaction” that tips our thoughts strongly toward the negative or the positive. The way to change the channel away from the negative is to think one good thought about another person, and other good thoughts will follow naturally. When people complain about someone, it’s best either to politely change the topic or excuse oneself from the conversation.

An insurance salesman always made a point of finding something to like about each prospect. This would get him to like the person, and shortly that person would like him, and usually a sale would follow. A similar approach is to “treat customers like guests in your home” (205). These types of “first-class” treatment apply to everyone—customers and employees included. 

When things don’t go well—someone else gets the promotion, for example—it’s tempting to resent those involved. Better, though, is to reason out why someone else deserved the opportunity, then make corrections and plan ahead for the next win.

Success is decisive while failure hesitates. An “Activationist” takes immediate action, but a “Passivationist” postpones a decision, thinks about it, and never does anything.

Perfectionism can derail any project. Some people try to plan out everything precisely so as to avoid any trouble, but this fails in a world where problems appear out of nowhere. Waiting for the perfect moment takes forever. One young couple on a budget overcame their challenges: They moved from an apartment to a house by arranging a loan from the builder, getting extra paid hours at work, and shifting the old rent payments to a mortgage with the same monthly payment.

Unused ideas cause the pain of regret, but those acted on generate satisfaction and tranquility. Fear, too, disappears when a person takes action. Even professionals get nervous, but they get past their fears by doing the job. The way to take action is to do it, even if that means merely going through the motions. The physical process sets the mind in motion, and the work gets done.

Janet and Bill wanted to save money, but their budget never permitted it. Janet finally put her foot down and convinced Bill that they should save 10% first, automatically, and then manage their lives with what was left. They found that they could adjust their expenses, and that saving money itself became a satisfying way of “spending” it.

One business woman called a conference of her own executives to discuss a policy change. They hemmed and hawed and uttered platitudes; she couldn’t get any useful ideas out of them: “It was like talking with a bunch of vegetables” (228). It turns out they had plenty of ideas, which they shared with each other afterward, but they weren’t willing to put themselves on the line during the conference when it mattered. Somewhat similarly, college students will study by taking care of small details and distractions until the time for deep thinking is used up.

Instead of waiting for others, take the initiative and crusade for a project until it catches on and everyone gets involved. Volunteer to help out; this may get snickers, but it also gets you noticed by the other doers. Doers become leaders. People listen to and trust leaders, not those who sit by passively.