The Kid Who Ran for President

The story proper starts about a year before the next presidential election. Judson and his friend Lane Brainard play pool at Lane’s house while watching news coverage of prospective presidential candidates. Lane thinks a kid president would solve everything, and Judson rebuts with all the reasons a kid can’t or shouldn’t run, including age restrictions and inexperience. Finally out of arguments, Judson tells Lane he should run because he’s smart, to which Lane says, “People don’t want a smart president. They want a president who makes ’em feel good” (5). With this revelation, Lane suggests Judson run for president. He has all the important qualities: he’s likable, makes people laugh, and has good hair.

Judson scoffs at the idea, but Lane persists. Finally, Judson asks why Lane wants him to run, and Lane explains how he used to play King of the Hill when he was younger, a game that involves a bunch of kids standing on a hill and trying to push one another off. Since Lane was small, he always got pushed off. Becoming president is kind of like being king of the hill, and Lane figures if he can get Judson elected, then it “would be sorta like I was king of the hill, too” (8).

On his way home from Lane’s house, Judson stops to chat with June Syers, an older African American woman who used to babysit him. Judson asks June who was the first president she voted for, and she proudly announces that the only president she ever voted for was “Franklin Dellllllllllano Roosevelt” because she hadn’t “come across anybody worth votin’ for since FDR” (10).

June says when someone runs who’s worth voting for, she’ll vote for them, and Judson sticks out his hand to shake, announcing he’s running for president. June warns him not to, saying politics “rips your heart out and puts a stone in its place” (12). Judson argues he’s different and leaves, and June calls after him that he’s opening a can of worms.