The Distance Between Us: Young Readers Edition

“Mago and I sat on the dirt floor, and she told me about the day I was born, exactly the way Mami used to tell it. She pointed to the circle of rocks and a pile of ash and told me that during my birth a fire had been burning. When I was born, the midwife put me into my mother’s arms, and Mami turned to face the fire to keep me warm. As I listened to Mago now, I closed my eyes and felt the heat of the flames and heard Mami’s heart beating against my ears.”

The story Mago tells Reyna about her umbilical cord makes Reyna fall in love with The Power of Education and Storytelling when she is a little girl. This tale also helps her feel connected to her mother whenever she is absent. The cord is symbolic of Reyna’s longing for love and family and her desire to have her parents back (See: Symbols & Motifs).

“I wished I had a picture of Mami. I wanted to tell her I missed being with her. I missed going to the canal and sitting on the washing stone while she scrubbed our clothes and told me stories. If the water was low, she would let me get in and chase after the soap bubbles as she dunked the clothes into the water to rinse.”

Reyna’s childhood is defined by her family’s separation. While living in Mexico with her grandmother, she often thinks about her mother and tries to hold on to the few memories she has of her. This moment illustrates Reyna’s childhood longing and foreshadows her mother’s absence throughout the years to come.

“‘A baby girl,’ Mago said, breaking the silence. Yes, a girl, just like me and her. What did Carlos have to worry about? He was still the only boy. But us? What chance did we have now of our parents loving us, if they had a new little girl? A baby born in the United States. And it suddenly hit me: I was no longer the youngest. Some other girl I did not know had replaced me.”

Reyna and her siblings live in constant fear that their parents will replace or forget them. Their parents’ extended absence from Mexico amplifies these fears and makes the children feel abandoned. This moment captures the complicated emotions Reyna experiences as a result, foreshadowing her desire to prove her value to her parents throughout the years to come.

“After feeling like a prisoner at my grandmother’s house, finally my first day of first grade had arrived, and with that—freedom! […] I would get to be out of the house for several hours, out of my grandmother’s sight. Best of all I would get my own books, like the ones Mago and Carlos brought home, books full of beautiful poetry and fun stories with colorful pictures of clouds, stars, people, and animals, like foxes and birds. I liked it when Mago read to me from her books, but I wanted to learn to read them myself.”

From a young age, Reyna feels excited by learning and reading, always drawn to The Power of Education and Storytelling. She is thrilled to start the first grade because the opportunity promises to teach her new things and expand her world. This passage captures Reyna’s early love for the academic world and foreshadows the ways in which reading, writing, and storytelling will sustain her throughout her difficult childhood.

“We scraped our fingers carrying bricks. At night we couldn’t sleep from being so sore, but every day we put all of our energy into building our house, and when our fingers hurt too much, or our knees wanted to buckle from under us as we carried buckets of wet mortar to the bricklayers, we would tell ourselves that the faster we worked, the faster we would have a family again. That thought gave us strength.”

Reyna and her siblings repeatedly attempt to bring their family back together. Their attempts to help build the dream house illustrate their longing for a safe, happy family and home life. This is just one example of how the siblings put themselves in difficult situations to please their parents, in the hopes that Mami and Papi will return to them if they are hardworking and well-behaved.

“After Mami left, Mago once again became our little mother and took care of us all. Betty missed Mami the most. She cried and cried for our mother, until one day the crying finally stopped. She wrapped her arms around Mago and clung to her with her chubby hands. I loved my little sister, and I didn’t mind that Mago paid more attention to her than she did to me. Before, I used to think that since Betty had been born in the United States, she was more special to Mami. Now I saw that we were all the same to her. We were all just as easy to abandon.”

Reyna’s relationships with her siblings ultimately come to define how she understands The Challenges of Family Separation and Reunification. She spends years wishing her mother and father were back in Mexico with her and her siblings. However, she soon realizes that the only people she can count on are Mago, Carlos, and Betty. Together, they shape their own sense of connection, comfort, and belonging. This passage marks a moment when Reyna is experiencing revelations about who her parents are capable of being to her and her siblings.

“There were people at the meadow already staking out their piece of the land Mami said the government was going to give away very soon. Mami chose one of the few spots still available […] ‘Here’s where we’re going to live,’ she said. ‘I’m going to show your father I can build my own dream house too.’”

Reyna’s parents’ fights and disagreements are often inspired by their attempts to get back at each other. For example, Mami’s desperation to get a plot of land from the government is largely inspired by her desire to prove that she’s a better parent and more capable person than Papi. This conflict affects Reyna and her siblings in negative ways.

“That stranger. My father. I didn’t want to see the look on his face, a look of surprise, shame, and pity. I knew he was ashamed of what he saw, of the children we were. Had he imagined us differently? What a cruel joke my cousin Félix had played on us by not telling us the truth! If he had, we would have bathed and changed our clothes before coming here.”

Reyna’s reunion with her father disappoints her expectations. For years, she’s dreamed of the day when Papi will return to Mexico. When the day finally arrives, Reyna feels ashamed of herself and is immediately convinced that she’s an embarrassment to Papi. This emotional dynamic continues throughout Reyna’s childhood, as she is constantly trying to prove her worth to her father.

“Mago looked at me and put her arms around me. I held on tight. I had survived being left by Papi. I’d lived through Mami’s constant comings and goings. But if Mago left me too, I didn’t think I could survive that […] Why did he have to come back, only to leave again and take away the only person who truly loved me?”

Reuniting with her father doesn’t resolve all of Reyna’s family troubles or her complicated emotions regarding The Challenges of Family Separation and Reunification. She is devastated by the idea of losing her siblings when Papi threatens to leave her behind in Mexico and take Mago and Carlos with him. This moment captures Reyna’s attachment to Mago and her terror of being abandoned and forgotten by the people she thought loved her.

“I kept thinking about Mami, little Betty, my sweet grandmother—and I couldn’t help feeling torn about our situation. I was happy Papi hadn’t left me behind, but I was also sad about leaving my little sister […] If we didn’t cross this third time, I would lose my father!”

Reyna’s immigration to the United States complicates her journey towards self-discovery. Traveling to the States gives her the chance to experience a new life and to have a father for the first time. However, it also means parting with her mother and sister. These experiences continue the pattern of family separation that Reyna has had to face throughout her childhood.

“By the end of the day, I still hadn’t fully memorized the alphabet and the numbers in English. I walked back home feeling scared. I thought about our trip to the beach, of Papi holding my hand. If I didn’t do well in school, I wouldn’t make Papi proud. It still hurt me that he hadn’t wanted to bring me at first, and because of that I was desperate for him to one day say, Chata, you have made me a proud father. I’m so glad I didn’t leave you in Mexico and instead brought you here to be with me. But he wouldn’t say that if I didn’t learn!”

Reyna becomes desperate to do well in school because she wants to prove herself to her father. She is afraid of failing and being made fun of. However, she’s even more afraid of upsetting Papi and having to return to Iguala. Her desire to learn is therefore entangled with her desperation to please Papi and prove that she is lovable.

“Santa never came. I kept waking up at night and looking at the fireplace by our sofa bed. I wondered if he was running late. He did have many deliveries to make, so was that what was taking so long? But what if he knew we’d stolen from the store? What if he’d decided we weren’t good kids and didn’t deserve his presents?”

Reyna’s childhood experiences are consistently tinged by her fear of being unworthy of love. Even her and her siblings’ phone call to Santa Claus doesn’t lessen her fears of being disappointing to those around her. This moment captures Reyna’s complex inner life and ongoing desperation to prove herself to her family.

“I was so confused by this sentence: ‘Changes take place in a girl pretty fast.’ I couldn’t understand why the word ‘pretty’ was there after the word ‘girl.’ Mr. López had taught me that an adjective goes before the noun, so it should have read ‘pretty girl.’ But if that was so, I wondered if only pretty girls got their periods and not ugly ones. I stood in the mirror and looked at myself, wondering which category I was in.”

Reyna’s coming-of-age experience is complicated by her foray into American culture and her problems with Cultural Identity and Assimilation. She is gradually learning English and adjusting to life in Los Angeles. However, this passage captures her struggles, as she cannot understand the use of “pretty” in the context of the sentence she reads. The moment also illustrates her desire for normalcy and acceptance as she matures.

“I froze when she picked up my book. Here it is. Here is my big chance! She opened it and flipped through the pages in the blink of an eye. Then she closed the book shut and put it in the big pile. My eyes began to burn with tears. My book was rejected! But she couldn’t have read it. No one reads a book in a second! She doesn’t even speak Spanish well, so how could she read it so fast? I wanted to stand up and say something. I wanted to tell her she’d made a mistake and she must look at it again. But I didn’t have the English words to say what I thought—how I felt—so I said nothing at all.”

Reyna sees The Power of Education and Storytelling as an important part of her identity. This is why she is so disappointed when she doesn’t do well on her short story assignment in school. She wants to be able to express herself in writing but is afraid that she will fail because she hasn’t yet learned English. The passage captures one of Reyna’s challenges as she adjusts to life in America.

“I finally realized there wasn’t much room for us in our mother’s life. She’d never be able to love us the way we wanted to be loved by her—with all her heart, the way a mother should love. But we wanted her in our lives, no matter how little of herself she was able to give us.”

Reyna’s perspective on her mother changes as she grows up. She still wants to be loved and accepted by Mami. However, over time, she realizes that Mami may not be able to be the mother she’s always wanted her to be. This passage marks an important revelation in Reyna’s coming-of-age, as her understanding of her parents begins to evolve.

“I got dizzy as I blew through the mouthpiece, and at first I couldn’t make anything but squeaky noises. By the end of class, I’d managed to create something that sounded like music, and for the first time I felt excited. I loved playing an instrument because it didn’t matter whether I spoke perfect English or not. Who cared if I had a ‘wetback’ accent? Reading music didn’t require me to be fluent in any language. And I didn’t need to speak, just play sweet melodies.”

Playing the alto saxophone helps Reyna express herself in a new way. As she adjusts to life in the United States, she seeks out opportunities that make her feel comfortable and seen while seeking Cultural Identity and Assimilation. Joining a band is one unexpected way that Reyna discovers new things about herself.

“She started off with the honorable mentions, but my name wasn’t one of them. Then she announced the third-place winner. It wasn’t me. Then the second-place winner. It wasn’t me, and by now tears were starting to form. ‘And the first-place winner is—Reyna Grande.’ I looked at the speaker. Had I just heard my name? My homeroom teacher clapped and said, ‘Congratulations, Reyna. I’m so proud of you.’ All the students looked at me, and for the first time they weren’t looking at me to criticize me but to congratulate me.”

Winning the short-story competition in the 8th grade encourages and inspires Reyna. Reyna writes and submits the short story in the hope of making Papi proud. However, she discovers that winning the competition in fact makes her proud of herself, reaffirming The Power of Education and Storytelling in her life.

“Finally it was time for the part of the waltz where I got to dance with my father, but I didn’t feel those overpowering emotions I thought I’d feel when I finally danced with him. My heart wasn’t racing, my palms weren’t sweating, my head wasn’t spinning. I didn’t feel a thing. I smelled the alcohol on his breath and I kept turning my face away from his. Always my eyes returned to my sister standing by the door looking proudly at me. And I knew I should have been dancing the waltz with her.”

Reyna’s Quinceañera marks a turning point in her personal development (See: Symbols & Motifs). The ceremony is meant to celebrate her transition from girlhood into adulthood and is therefore a significant rite of passage in her life. At the same time, the event inspires changes in Reyna’s emotional world too, with Reyna realizing that her old conception of family—once centered upon longing for her parents’ love—is now giving way to a family dynamic more closely tied to her siblings.

“How could I stop myself from feeling sad that Mago no longer cared about Iguala? Sad that she didn’t think of this place as special because it had once been our home? Her home was now the U.S. Unlike me, she had no accent when she spoke English. Now I knew why that was. Even in her speech she was trying to erase Mexico completely. I didn’t know if I ever could. Or would want to.”

Returning to Mexico complicates Reyna’s understanding of Cultural Identity and Assimilation. She doesn’t know what to expect when she visits Iguala for the first time since leaving as a child. The place is completely different than she remembered. Throughout her time there, she realizes that the setting seems different because she is different. She wants to hold on to her former life because it’s an important part of who she is. However, she is also still trying to balance this part of her with her new American identity, especially when she notices how Mago is erasing her own Mexican heritage.

“I wanted to tell him I’d be different, that I’d seen with my own eyes the poverty he’d helped us escape. I’d seen with my own eyes the reason he’d been such a tyrant about school. I wanted to tell him I’d do what Mago and Carlos hadn’t been able to do. I would go to UC Irvine and get my degree. I would be somebody he could be proud of. But he said to me, ‘You can forget all about going to that university. You’re going to be a failure too, just like them, so don’t even bother.’ Then he walked away.”

Reyna’s conflicts at home are largely inspired by her difficult relationship with her father. Even when Papi discourages and bullies Reyna, she still wants to please him. However, this passage foreshadows the ways in which Reyna will have to work hard for herself instead of for Papi in the future.

“My bedroom was my prison. No, my bedroom was my haven. From the door, I was safe. From the door out, the demons would come with their mocking faces. I lay in bed and waited for Mila and my dad to turn in for the night […] When the house was silent and dark, only then did I come out. This was how it’d been since my father had beaten me. I was afraid that if I came out of the room, he’d come down on me like a vulture. Little by little he pecked at my soul. I was afraid, sometimes, that one day there would be nothing left.”

Reyna’s use of descriptive language in this passage captures her growing attachment to The Power of Education and Storytelling. She is learning how to navigate her most difficult experiences via language. At the same time, this passage captures how small and lonely Reyna’s life has become since her siblings left home. These lines therefore foreshadow Reyna’s coming decision to change her life on her own terms.

“I told Diana what had happened over the weekend and the past three days that I’d been at my mother’s. I couldn’t stop the tears from coming even though I told myself not to cry. Diana didn’t need my drama. I didn’t want to burden her with my problems. Diana grabbed my hand and said, ‘Reynita, you can’t be in that situation any longer. You have to think about school. That’s all you should worry about.’ I wiped the tears from my eyes. How could I not worry? How could I escape all of this? I had nowhere to go. ‘Would you like to come stay at my house?’ Diana asked.”

Reyna’s relationship with her teacher Diana Savas helps her to overcome significant challenges in her life. Diana doesn’t just encourage Reyna’s interest in reading and writing, but comes to emotionally support her, too. She helps Reyna escape her difficult home life and reminds Reyna that she is worthy of better.

“How did Cisneros know this was exactly how I’d felt for so many years? Just wishing my feet could keep walking, keep walking to another place, to a beautiful home where I was loved and wanted. I reread the chapter, and with every word I felt Cisneros reaching out and talking to me. I felt a connection to this author, this woman, whom I’d never met. Suddenly I wanted to meet her and ask her, How did you know? How did you know this is how I felt?”

Reyna learns about herself by reading other authors. Sandra Cisneros’s The House on Mango Street is particularly influential for her, because Cisneros’s story reminds Reyna of her own life. Reading this book teaches Reyna that stories are a powerful way to process difficult experiences and to connect with others.