The Cost of Knowing

As the brothers walk to the concert, Isaiah invites Alex to tell him what’s bothering him, and Alex confides in him about his anxiety and his inability to tell Talia about the curse. Isaiah sympathizes, grateful to finally have someone to talk to about his visions. An irate Talia sees the brothers in the venue’s parking lot and dumps Alex. Desperate to salvage their relationship, Alex tells her about his visions. Realizing that he knew about Shaun’s death, she screams at him for not telling her sooner and walks away. After Talia leaves, Isaiah confesses to Alex that he feels responsible for Shaun’s death because his ball rolled into the street, and Mrs. Gomez crashed her car. Alex hugs his brother tight and tells him not to blame himself. Isaiah feels better after letting go of the guilt he’s been carrying for four years. Isaiah spots a display of merchandise, including rave gloves with colorful lights, and asks if they can buy them. Alex balks at the price but then remembers Talia asking him “Can you just be sixteen with me?” (227). With a twinge of regret, he cancels the $100 he was going to transfer to Mrs. Gomez’s account and uses the money to purchase matching gloves and sweatshirts for him and Isaiah. He hopes that the “joy bursting” from his little brother “for the first time in way too long” means he’s doing the right thing (227).

Both Alex and Isaiah enjoy the opening act although the latter is bombarded by the noise of the other concertgoers’ regrets. Aunt Mackie sends Alex a text asking where he is, but he ignores the message. Suddenly, Alex realizes that Isaiah is gone. He bumps into several people and triggers multiple visions before locating his frightened little brother with Eli Zaccari, their neighbors’ son. Eli tells the brothers that they need to leave immediately and gives Alex a bag of ecstasy before disappearing into the crowd. Alex has never done drugs before, but he knows that he’ll be in danger if he’s caught with the pills. Despite Eli’s warning, Alex resolves to stay at the concert and try to break the curse for Isaiah even if it gets them both killed. He throws the pills into a trash can and squeezes through the crowd back to their spots in front of the stage even though he’s terrified. Looking up into the sky, he hopes that Shaun is looking down on him.

Alex puts Isaiah on his shoulders so that he can have an excellent view of the stage when Shiv Skeptic appears. Despite the discomfort of carrying his brother, Alex feels blissful. Shiv sings one of Isaiah’s favorite songs, which includes lyrics that speak out against irresponsible spending, drug use, and drunk driving. Another one of his songs denounces for-profit prisons and the disproportionate incarceration of Black people. Alex wonders what Mrs. Zaccari would think if she knew the actual messages of Shiv’s music or that his surprise guest at the concert is Nyein Chen, the award-winning violinist Mrs. Zaccari praised. One of Shiv’s bandmates, Cobra Katjee, spots Isaiah in the crowd and ushers him onstage. Isaiah is scared to draw the attention of so many people, and Alex is scared to let his brother go when he could die at any moment. Alex touches Isaiah’s ankle, intentionally triggering a vision of his brother’s future. He sees Isaiah beaming onstage before the vision goes red. Certain that his brother’s death is near, Alex tears up, kisses his brother’s knee, and promises him that he’s not alone.

Once Isaiah is onstage, the brothers realize that their curse is broken. Isaiah looks like “a giddy six-year-old on Christmas morning” (256). When Alex takes out his phone to record his brother talking to Shiv, he sees more messages from Aunt Mackie, including one in which she threatens to file a missing person’s report. Alex can’t bear the possibility of Isaiah being killed by police, so he texts her that they’re all right. The crowd coos at Isaiah’s adorable antics as Shiv makes the boy an honorary member of his band and invites the newly christened “Izzy Red” to start the next song with him. Isaiah looks right at his brother as he sings, “So many ways to say [...] Goodbyyyyye” (262). Suddenly, gunfire erupts in the arena.

The band hurries backstage with Isaiah. Alex desperately tries to follow them, but he’s seized by a security guard. The guard is shot, allowing a terrified Alex to continue his search. He finds Isaiah backstage and hugs him close. The brothers escape through an emergency exit into an alley and hurry home. They pull their hoods up to keep off the pouring rain. They pass a memorial to the boy who was killed in Santiam Estates that morning, and Alex stares at a photograph of him, taken aback by how his eyes were “so bright and full of hope. And promise” (268). Alex and Isaiah tell each other they love one another and resume their race home. Alex receives a text from Talia, and he replies to let her know that he’s safe, too. Back in their own neighborhood, a truck tries to run down the boys. Alex recognizes the vehicle because he’s seen it in the Zaccaris’ driveway. Alex is separated from Isaiah, and he watches in terror as the truck nears his little brother.