46 pages • 1 hour read
Matt HaigThe Comfort Book
Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 2021A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Themes
Finding Comfort in Simplicity
In The Comfort Book, Haig utilizes simplicity in various ways to help readers find comfort in their lives. Not only does Haig present a simple approach to perseverance, but he also advises readers to find comfort in the simple aspects of daily life and its everyday marvels.
Early in the book, Haig conveys simplicity through his anecdote about the time he and his father were lost in the woods. He and his father found that by walking in a straight line, they were able to find a way out of the woods and to a main road that led them home. This suggests that perseverance and survival do not need to be complicated. In the simple act of moving forward in a straight line, a sense of direction will ultimately present itself.
The theme of simplicity also aligns with Haig’s advice to resist overanalyzing life events and to instead acknowledge life “in the raw”—life as it is without any layers of meaning that distract from the act of existing. In the chapter titled “Toast,” Haig compares the search for the meaning of life to the search for the meaning of toast and states “it is sometimes better just to eat the toast” (46). In other words, one should simply enjoy life rather than search for answers one may never find. It is no surprise that Haig includes several chapters that highlight the simple comfort of foods such as hummus, pizza, and pasta.
Simplicity also aligns with the theme of surrender. Rather than resisting events, thoughts, and emotions, people should simply observe and accept them. Resistance to thoughts and circumstances complicates the healing process. When people resist, they are likely to assign more meaning to thoughts and circumstances than they need to. After all, it is often not the thing itself that one fears, but the way one’s mind frames it, making it seem worse than it is. Haig suggests that readers adopt a simpler and more neutral perspective, saying, “[O]ur perspective is our world” (12).
Later in the text, Haig states, “To sit down passively, inside or outside, and merely absorb things—the tick of a clock, a cloud passing by, the distant hum of traffic, a bird singing—can feel like an end in itself” (214). In this quotation, Haig highlights the simple act of being and observing one’s surroundings. This practice can bring a person great comfort by helping them to quiet their minds and enjoy the simple things.
Embracing the Inevitability of Change
Change is a recurring theme that Haig illustrates through images of clouds rolling through the sky and rivers flowing. He highlights the importance of allowing inevitable change to happen, or “flow,” recommending that readers “allow [their] mind[s] to absorb the day, and let all those fears and frustrations float through” (97). One should acknowledge negative emotions when they arise and let them go as easily as they came.
By allowing one’s life to flow, one surrenders to change. Haig links the two ideas with another river image, this one from a quote by Heraclitus: “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man” (90). Just as nature is ever-changing, so are humans. In a sense, people become different individuals at different stages of their lives. Due to neuroplasticity, the brain’s molecular structure changes in response to what a person experiences at different stages of their life. This comforts Haig, and he recommends that readers likewise bear it in mind when they feel stuck in a negative moment or in the negative emotions that pertain to it. People grow, evolve, and become stronger because of their suffering, so one should “stay alive” not only for the people one will meet but for the person one will be.
For Haig, it is therefore not merely a question of accepting change, but rather embracing it and finding comfort in it. Nothing is permanent—not even suffering. Everything shifts, flows, and changes form. Insofar as one is alive, there is hope for change. What’s more, it is change that links people to others and to the world around them, offering a reprieve from isolation and the possibility of continued existence even if one does not believe in an afterlife: “You are here. In this moving moment. And in being here, you are also forever” (252). In his original poem “How to be an ocean,” Haig presents the ocean as a metaphor for human existence. Like the ocean, people experience stillness as well as “tides” (249). The big picture is a beautiful one, characterized by variety, unpredictability, and change. At the end of the poem, Haig advises that readers “allow” these “tides,” or changes, to happen while allowing “wrecked ships” to “hide” (249). In other words, we should acknowledge that change is in our very nature and surrender to what is rather than what we wish might be.
Resisting Binary Thinking
Haig makes clear the contingency of binary ideas such as dark and light or sadness and joy; neither element of an opposing pair can exist without the other. Haig therefore cautions readers against isolating these terms and viewing them without the opposite on which their meaning depends. He explains that at moments in his life, one element would overpower the other, tricking him into thinking it alone existed. The human mind naturally tends to oversimplify complex realities in this way, but it leads to unnecessary suffering; one comes to believe that pain, darkness, or death is all-encompassing. In reality, such things are not only impermanent but incomplete, as the anecdote about Callahan observing the beauty of the stars while lost at sea illustrates; even amid extreme suffering, suffering is not the whole story.
In the chapter titled “Opposites,” Haig points out that opposites rely on each other to exist—for example, the dark shadows of a painting by Tintoretto accentuating areas of light. Furthermore, because change underlies existence, one concept may follow its opposite. Haig points out that “The mute silence of Maya Angelou's childhood led to her determination to use her voice” (239). In this sense, Haig alludes to the idea of a silver lining in every dark cloud. Opposites are intrinsically linked; in fact, they are contained within one another. The appearance of opposites is embedded in both nature’s cycles—day to night, winter to spring, etc.—and in the events that occur in human life, as well as the emotions that follow. There will be happiness and sadness, despair and hope, stillness and hustle and bustle. Haig states that he now avoids binaries and sees opposites as woven together.
In fact, the relationship between opposites is often directly causal, as suffering often teaches one greater appreciation for life. Haig states that his own love of life stems almost directly from despair. Having experienced troubling times, he is grateful for better times. He states, “When we see the way everything connects, we can feel more empowered at our lowest points” (241). This idea aligns with Steven Callahan’s description of how his experiences at sea changed him: “I value each moment that is not spent in pain, desperation, hunger, thirst, or loneliness” (100). Within the bad is hope for the good, not merely because everything changes, but also because the bad often contains the seeds of the good.
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