The Canyon's Edge

Mom affectionately called Nora “Blackbird” after the Beatles song of the same name. The song lyrics refer to a blackbird, singing by itself at nighttime. The lyrics urge the bird to use its broken wings, arise, fly, and be free. At the climbing wall when Nora was six, Mom teasingly told Nora when it was her turn to climb, “Get ready to fly” (202), and this memory flashes back to Nora as she free-soloes the second part of the wall.

The nickname suggests that even before the tragedy, Nora lacked confidence in herself. Mom knew that Nora needed to “finally believe in [herself]” before she could fly (269). The nickname has profound significance for Nora. It helps her positively connect with Mom’s love and gives her strength. Nora knows that Mom believed in her, and now, as Nora jumps the canyon, she finally believes in herself. Nora fulfills the promise that the singer saw in the blackbird. The nickname makes Nora feel that Mom is present with her as she jumps, with all of her love and support, “giving her flight” (269). Nora is finally able to “fly” in life—to be confidently independent and “free” of fears that hold her back.

The slot canyon, a narrow gorge with steep, sheer rock walls, represents a transformative outer and inner journey. Outwardly, the canyon is a physical adventure, an opportunity for Nora and her father to reconnect and, Nora hopes, for life to begin to return to normal. The canyon also symbolizes Nora’s internal exploration of her thoughts and emotions. Standing on the edge of the canyon looking down, Nora thinks, “Looking down it is like getting a peek at an unknown world” (11), much like looking into the unexplored or walled-off parts of herself.

The canyon walls are built of “layers, layers, and layers” that visually illustrate the changes it has experienced over time (17), just as Nora’s own emotions change as she grows and heals. Mary encourages Nora that she’s like the canyon, and as time progresses and Nora grows, “something beautiful and layered and solid and lasting is formed” (10). As Nora physically enters the slot canyon, she mentally dives into a confrontation with her fears and repressed emotions. She emerges from the dim canyon into the bright sunshine transformed—physically scarred but emotionally on the road to healing. Nora later finds comfort in the thought that she has “set / that damn canyon / on fire” (288). She confronted and vanquished the fear, shame, guilt, anger, and hate that kept her from grieving and healing.

Walls represent barriers, physical and mental. Nora believed that her mental wall was protective and was constructed from pain, the same way that desert creatures line their shelters with prickly things to keep predators out. Nora considered her wall necessary to protect her from the pain of examining, analyzing, and accepting her traumatic experience. She was willing to sacrifice feeling positive emotions to avoid painful ones. When Nora rewrites her nightmare, she no longer needs the wall. She releases her negative emotions, knowing she’s worthy and strong, and lets her wall “crumble to the ground” (255). Empowered by her belief in herself and the knowledge that others, like Mom, believe in her, Nora jumps: “Across the divide / that separates Dad and me… / Over the ruins / of my crumbled wall” (268). She crosses the literal divide of the canyon and the figurative emotional distance and barrier she constructed between herself and Dad.

Gun violence is the cause of Nora’s loss and trauma. To Nora, guns represent pain, death, senseless brutality, and helplessness. She poignantly reflects on how a random person with a gun can fire a tiny bullet that changes and takes lives, so she’s shocked when Dad pulls a gun from his backpack before their trip. Seeing the gun triggers post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms: Nora fearfully backs away, has trouble catching her breath, and feels her heart begin to “pound.” Dad sees her panicked reaction and apologizes, assuring her that it’s a flare gun. The “booms” of guns feature in Nora’s nightmare and her flashbacks to the shooting. Guns are a source of fear and pain. At the novel’s end, however, Nora’s use of the flare gun reveals how she has started to grow and heal. While she doesn’t want to use the flare gun, she recognizes that it’s their only chance for rescue and, importantly, says that “this thing / does not control [her]” (283). Nora rejects the negative influence that guns have over her. Instead, she uses the gun in a life-affirming way: to get help for her and Dad.

Aristotle believed that the heart was the seat of human emotions, and hearts traditionally symbolize life, love, and courage. Nora’s heart reflects a spectrum of emotions that change from negative stress responses to positive feelings. The heart-shaped stone that Dad finds and gives to Nora—the only birthday present she receives from him—represents both Dad’s love and Nora’s changing heart. When the two first enter the canyon, Nora’s emotions are stonelike in the way she represses her feelings about the tragedy and builds walls to prevent herself from feeling. Nora is conscious of her physical heart, however, “pounding” when she feels “unhelpful” emotions like rage, fear, and anxiety. Her heart physically manifests the psychological effects of PTSD.

Being stung by a deadly scorpion makes Nora realize how fragile and valuable her life is. In the near-Haiku “Heart,” Nora suddenly realizes “how fast, loud, painful a heart / is able to beat” (165). As Nora gains self-confidence, her heart reflects her new belief in herself and her ability to again feel positive emotions. Her heart beats with expectation as she waits for a sign that Dad is alive, and she understands that Mom “will always be with [her] / in [her] head, / in [her] heart, / in [her] poems” (276). By the end of Nora’s ordeal, her heart expresses her energy, love, and courage.