That's Not What Happened

In this second section of the novel, the theme of The Impact of Trauma on Individual Identity becomes more evident, especially when Lee’s attempts to tell the truth are not well met. Detective Jenner’s reaction is confusing to Lee, who, now that she finally has the emotional strength to reveal her truthful account, wants action or at least formal acknowledgment. Lee senses that the route to assuaging her guilt and finding some closure may lie in changing others’ views of what happened, but she cannot do so when even the detective on the case tells her to keep those truthful details to herself for the sake of community harmony. This struggle is even more evident when Lee reveals the truth to Sarah’s parents. Lee expected their emotional distress, but their refusal to listen, command that she leave, and petitioning of Brother Lloyd for intervention are shocking developments to Lee. Instead of the alleviation of guilt and responsibility she desperately seeks, Lee’s conflict only grows, as she now must fight the constructed identity of Sarah others built and refuse to let go of. This constructed identity of Sarah also speaks to The Role of Stereotyping in Shaping Narrative. Sarah had the reputation of a good Christian girl in part because she kept secrets, like her boyfriend, Richie, who was also killed. Sarah is stereotyped as a martyr, which further complicates Lee’s grief, as she was in the bathroom with Sarah. Lee alone holds a true understanding of her best friend, who she remembers differently than this distorted, all-consuming public perception of her. The danger of stereotyping also leads to an image of Sarah that the community can rally around to heal, but this image remains untrue and calls into question the values that arise in the face of senseless violence. Sarah, as well as some of the other victims and survivors, has become one-dimensional, which is unsustainable for Lee.

Lee’s character arc begins to shift more noticeably as a consequence of her truth-telling. Though Detective Jenner and even Denny and Miles caution her about continuing to communicate Sarah’s actual role, Lee begins to show independence and strength in her refusal to drop the issue. Her idea of compiling letters that better reflect the truth sparks at this point in the timeline—a manifestation of her step toward correcting past actions. Miles resists, but Lee does not allow his hesitancy to stop her from fulfilling her increasingly pressing need for truth. This demonstrates her growing inner strength, but it also suggests an ironic inability to see how others' views on truth-telling may differ from her own. Specifically, the motivation for truth-telling differs, and while all the survivors eventually share their stories with Lee, their reasons for hesitating to correct public perception vary. Lee cannot move forward with her life while also holding onto a lie, but others did not necessarily feel this motivation without her pushing. 

Additional character development details are woven throughout these chapters; for example, Lee conveys through interior monologue her reasons for studying theater. This example continues a pattern established in the first section of the novel: Passages of character description allow a “breather” from the intensity of the scene. Lee’s internal discussion of her acting plan appears just as she struggles to reveal the truth to Sarah’s parents. Comparable to the way that comic relief in a tragedy provides the audience an emotional break, these characterization explorations offer a chance to pull back from the shooting and focus attention on the interiority of the characters. Characterization passages also show that Lee and the others are not wholly identified by the shooting; each has passions, interests, traits, and other qualities that identify them. Interestingly, Lee’s pull toward acting parallels the pretending that she has been forced to enact by upholding the incorrect public perceptions surrounding the shooting.

The crux of the conflict regarding Sarah’s real actions is more fully explored and explained in this section via Ashley’s letter. Lee has not questioned how the story about Sarah grew so impactful—she is too consumed by her guilt from keeping the truth hidden for three years—but Ashley’s letter explains it all. This development is ironic in several ways. First, that Ashley was the one who spread the false story is ironic since she is the leader and “mom” of the group; as such, she had Lee’s complete trust, but now Lee sees how fallible Ashley was. Second, Ashley’s letter details how the actions she assumed to be Sarah’s restored her faith and provided her renewed guidance about her future; ironically, these words came from Kellie, for whom Ashley had an intense dislike. This misassignment of “good” or “honorable” behavior from Kellie to Sarah demonstrates how personal bias influences perception.

It is also ironic that Ashley describes herself as a forgiving Christian person when she refuses to consider Kellie’s version of events and lambasts this fellow survivor for what Ashley assumed were fabrications: “It’s not like anyone would believe her, anyway. Kellie was an angry rude person who’d never stepped into a church in Virgil Country as far as I knew. So for her to try and take that away from Sarah, to take her last moments of bravery from her…” (128). Ashley’s behavior also demonstrates the ways in which grief affects behavior: Ashley appears cruel, but she is also clinging to the image of Sarah. She is so invested in what she believes to be Sarah’s story that she cites it as her motivation for continuing on with her life after sustaining major injuries during the shooting. Ashley’s anger toward Kellie and idolization of Sarah perhaps allows her to carry on without fully examining the pain she still holds from the trauma of the shooting. Finally, irony also exists in the fact that Lee’s guilt is lessened when she realizes Ashley’s actions are just as much to blame for the community’s martyrdom of Sarah as her own inability to reveal the truth. It is an ironic example of the truth setting one free, though Lee had no idea the extent of the truth to come when she requested Ashley’s letter. The unexpected details in Ashley’s letter also contribute to the theme of The Complexities of Truth and Perspective; she bases her changed outlook and future path on memories gleaned amid trauma that eventually will prove untrue.