Sociopath: A Memoir

Patric’s roommate is a Chinese girl, Kimi, who does not speak English and uses a digital translator to communicate. Kimi frequently complains about Patric waking her up in the night. Patric enjoys these confrontations and how Kimi sometimes distrusts the machine’s accuracy when she explains she has been stealing cars. One day, Kimi grasps Patric by the arm and demands to know why she doesn’t care about anything. Kimi is surprisingly sympathetic when Patric admits she does not know.

Patric decides she needs to find out more about her condition. At the library, she asks to see all the material on sociopathy. The librarian, Shelly, explains that they have very little information as sociopathy is “an outdated term” (105). The disorder does not have an entry in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). Shelly explains that the term “antisocial personality disorder” replaced sociopathy. She gives Patric a copy of the 1941 book The Mask of Sanity by psychiatrist Hervey Checkley. Shelley points out that the book includes a psychopathy checklist used to diagnose both sociopaths and psychopaths. The diagnosis criteria include intelligence, superficial charm, deceitfulness, poor judgment, a failure to learn from mistakes, a lack of emotional range, and absence of fear, anxiety, and remorse.

According to Checkley’s list, the prognosis for psychopaths and sociopaths is poor due to their inability to feel love, “impersonal” sex lives, and “failure to follow any life plan” (108). Patric compares the checklist to the definition of antisocial personality disorder. While there are similarities, there are differences, and she notes that the markers of antisocial personality order are primarily behavioral rather than based on personality traits. ASPD is characterized by criminal behavior likely to lead to arrest, aggressiveness expressed in fighting or assaults, and a failure to sustain responsibilities such as work or financial commitments.

Patric seeks clarity from Dr. Slack. She claims to be writing a paper on sociopathy but has discovered that the condition does not appear in the DSM. Dr. Slack explains that although antisocial personality disorder has largely replaced the terms sociopath and psychopath in the medical profession, not everyone with antisocial personality disorder is a sociopath. While Checkley groups sociopaths and psychopaths together in The Mask of Sanity, research suggests psychopaths have biological brain differences, meaning they cannot learn from mistakes or experience anxiety. Sociopaths display similar behavior but seem to be capable of change.

Dr. Slack reminds Patric that everyone is born with eight “primary emotions: “anger, fear, sadness, disgust, surprise, anticipation, trust, and joy” (113). In addition, there are “social” emotions that are learned rather than innate—“Empathy, guilt, shame, remorse, jealousy, love” (113). It is generally believed that psychopaths and sociopaths are incapable of experiencing social emotions. Patric suggests that sociopathy could be considered an “emotional learning disability” (113) and exist on a spectrum like autism. On this basis, some sociopaths may be capable of learning social emotions. Dr. Slack explains that, regardless of the diagnosis, the effects of psychopathy and sociopathy are similar. The frustration of living with a limited range of emotions is akin to “phantom limb syndrome” (114), as sufferers attempt to connect to feelings they do not possess. This repeated failure inevitably leads to destructive or violent behavior.

Patric feels hopeless after the discussion. She jumps off the balcony of her room, expecting to land on the concrete walkway. Instead, her landing is absorbed by grass, and she is unhurt. She recalls number 14 from the psychopathy checklist, “Suicide rarely carried out” (117). Patric decides that if no one can tell her more about sociopathy, she will work it out herself.

After her first year at UCLA, Patric spends the summer with her father and continues researching sociopathy. She finds that representations of sociopaths in newspapers and magazines uniformly depict sociopaths as evil. Meanwhile, most books assert that the condition is untreatable.

Nevertheless, Patric discovers data indicating that while sociopaths found social emotions difficult to access, it was not impossible. She also notes that she does not fit all of the criteria on Checkley’s psychopathy list. Patric concludes that she is neither unreliable nor incapable of following a life plan. This is proven by her dedication to getting into UCLA and her good record as a student. Patric also realizes that her relationship with David demonstrates an ability to love. Although their romance was brief, they remain constantly in touch, and she still loves David.

The word sociopath was coined by psychologist G.E. Partridge in 1930. The term was first included in the DSM in 1952. However, after the publication of The Mask of Sanity, sociopath and psychopath were used interchangeably. The replacement of both terms with antisocial personality disorder was prompted when they were increasingly misused in popular culture. Research indicates that almost 5% of the population are sociopaths. Patric wonders how all the other sociopaths are managing their symptoms.

Patric finds an article by Dr. David Lykken, who identifies a “subcategory of sociopathy” (126)—those who experience anxiety. Lyken’s description of this phenomenon fits Patric’s experience of stuck stress (126). Patric realizes she only feels anxious about her apathy when she is with other people and feels pressure to show emotion. When alone, she feels content.

Patric decides trespassing and stalking are the least destructive ways of relieving pressure. The next day, she waits until the couple across the road has left for work and picks their back door lock. She gives their dog Samson a treat and looks around the house but does not take anything. Feeling refreshed, she schedules similar activities three times a week to ensure stuck stress does not build to a dangerous level. The rest of the time, she works as a nanny. Patric likes the children she cares for and continues the job as she begins her sophomore year.

Exhausted by deceiving others into believing she is normal, Patric often chooses to be alone. When Patric’s father expresses concern about her isolation, she decides to tell him the truth about her condition and how she tries to manage it. She also admits she has been going to funerals as a pressure reliever. The ritual began when she accompanied her father to the funeral of his friend. In the church, she was immediately struck by the intense emotions of the mourners—particularly the widow of the deceased, who was howling with grief. Patric’s stuck stress disappeared, and she felt a sense of Zenlike well-being. From then on, she spent her weekends attending strangers’ funerals.

Patric’s father is shocked, pointing out she is feeding off other peoples’ pain. However, Patric argues that she doesn’t feel bad about it and takes flowers to the funerals or writes a check to a charity. She tries to be similarly considerate in her other antisocial activities, for example, filling the tanks of stolen cars with gas. Patric admits that she is lonely and wants to build connections with people but is incapable of doing so. Her father suggests that she find a therapist and work for him as a music manager after graduation. Patric agrees to consider the offer.

Patric begins regular appointments with a psychologist, Dr. Carlin. Dr. Carlin asks Patric to complete the psychopathy checklist (PCL). She explains that there is no distinct test for sociopathy, so most medical professionals use the PCL for both conditions. A score of 30 or more indicates psychopathy, while a score between 22 and 29 suggests sociopathy. The results of the test indicate Patric is a sociopath. Looking outside at the people in the park, Patric remarks that at least one of them must be a sociopath, as 1 in 25 people has the condition. Dr. Carlin suggests Patric is looking for other sociopaths because she wants empathy.

Patric accepts her father’s job offer after graduation and discovers she has the ideal traits for music management. Most people in the business are amoral and claim to have sociopathic tendencies, including Jennifer, a record label executive. When they meet, Jennifer comments on her similarities to Patric and declares they are soulmates. Jennifer reveals that her dog, Lady, recently bit off her finger when she tried to stop it from fighting with her other dog. Patric hates Jennifer and is certain she is not a sociopath. While Jennifer exhibits some sociopathic tendencies—self-destructiveness, dishonesty, and a lack of empathy and shame—she is excessively emotional, quickly swinging from elation to rage. Dr. Carlin suggests Jennifer likely has a borderline personality disorder.

One day, Jennifer reveals that Lady got into her neighbor’s yard and killed their dog. After witnessing the incident, she moved the neighbor’s dog to the street so it looked like it had been hit by a car. Patric is horrified. When she questions Jennifer’s actions, Jennifer replies that she cannot help being a sociopath. When Jennifer leaves, Patric notices her hands bleeding from digging her nails into her palms.