Sociopath: A Memoir

A few weeks later, David arrives on Patric’s doorstep unannounced. He moves in with her soon afterward. As Patric resumes her romantic relationship with David, her apathy is replaced by feelings of love. For the first time, Patric feels “normal” and revels in doing everyday things. She enjoys planning and cooking their meals each night and makes cakes, precisely slicing the layers with thread. Patric feels David is her “good half” and believes he makes her a better person. When he finds her lockpicking kit, Patric reluctantly agrees she no longer needs it. However, a few hours later, she retrieves the kit from the garbage bin and hides it in a drawer.

Dr. Carlin warns Patric that her present sense of contentment will not be permanent. She argues that Patric is experiencing “limerence,” the honeymoon phase of love that cannot be maintained indefinitely. Dr. Carlin is concerned that Patric has not yet discovered a sustainable way to manage apathy and pressure. She wants her patient to prepare for when her symptoms arise again.

Patric finds a new “prescription” when she breaks into the empty house opposite her own. Afterward, she tells David what she did and shows him a broken Statue of Liberty keychain she found at the property. She says that she will leave the key chain on the hall table whenever she has behaved in an “unorthodox” way. That way, David can choose if he wants to know the details of her sociopathic behavior.

David is concerned that Patric felt the need to break into the house at all. However, Patric argues she did it because she wanted to and not out of compulsion. David tries to point out the value of guilt in codes of behavior. He is worried that Patric’s lack of remorse will lead to more serious transgressions. Patric puts the key away in a drawer, anticipating she will not need it for some time.

Arianne, an MTV producer, asks Patric for a favor. She gives Patric the key to her boyfriend Jacob’s house and asks her to sneak in and read his journal to see if he is cheating on her. Patric is reluctant but sees that her friend is frantic and agrees.

Jacob’s journal reveals him to be a sensitive and caring person who is not cheating on his girlfriend. After reading it, Patric feels “heavy” and angry at herself for agreeing to the task. Arianne is relieved to hear that Jacob is not being unfaithful but tries to pump Patric for further information on the contents of his journal. Angry, Patric tells her friend that the whole escapade was wrong. Arianne is puzzled by Patric’s response, pointing out that she is a sociopath and should not care about ethics.

Patric keeps her promise to David and leaves the Statue of Liberty keychain on the hall table. However, she secretly hopes he will not question her about her latest escapade. David is shocked and criticizes Arianne for asking Patric to read Jacob’s journal. David suggests that Patric should be more selective about sharing her diagnosis, as some people will exploit her lack of fear and moral scruples. He reminds Patric she can choose what kind of sociopath she wants to be.

Patric tells Dr. Carlin that she is starting to think differently about sociopathy. She suggests that apathy could be viewed as a “superpower” compared to the overwhelming emotions that lead “normal” people like Arianne into morally reprehensible behavior. Patric argues that society’s perception of apathy as a purely negative trait causes sociopaths to experience anxiety, thereby triggering unacceptable behavior. She believes that if sociopaths learned that their innate apathy was not a character flaw, they might be able to control their destructive urges.

Patric compares apathy to “the Great Blue Hole” (201), a sinkhole off the Belize coast. Patric used to be scared of the Great Blue Hole as its depths reminded her of what may be lurking inside her apathy. However, she has now accepted it and wishes other sociopaths could feel the same way. Instead of receiving support and treatment, the identities of sociopaths are formed by negative stereotypes and “fauxiopaths” like Jennifer. Dr. Carlin suggests Patric go to graduate school and write a book on the subject to help other sociopaths.

David is less enthusiastic than Patric expects about the idea of graduate school. They go outside and look at the stars, and David points out Orion, “The hunter. The protector” (207). He states that Patric does not need to work or study as he will take care of her. David reveals that he has been invited to become the co-founder of a start-up company in Santa Monica.

Patric continues working for her father while David works long hours at the start-up. For the first few months, Patric tries not to complain about his frequent cancellation of their plans. David is annoyed when Patric reveals she still wants to apply to graduate school. He admits that he worried about her criminal behavior when she was at UCLA and wants to protect her from this happening again. David believes Patric uses the keychain as a signal because she wants him to protect her from dangerous behaviors. Patric clarifies that the keychain signifies her desire for their relationship to be honest. She drives to UCLA, suddenly determined to earn a PhD and specialize in sociopathy.