Refugee Boy

“I just want you to know that your mother and I love you, son, and you know that anything we do is for your best. I have never been here but I know that England is a nice country, there are some good people here, you must remember that. And back home there are some good people too, not everyone back there wants to fight the war, most people would love to just get on with their lives. So remember, there are good and bad everywhere and your mother and I have always tried to do the best for you because we want you to be one of the good ones. Not a brave African warrior, not a powerful man or a rich man or a great hunter. We just want you to be a good person. Always remember that.”

Mr. Kelo’s final words before he leaves Alem in England remind his son that goodness still exists in the world, even in Ethiopia and Eritrea, where he has seen only violence. Stereotypical descriptions of “greatness” (like power and wealth) are juxtaposed with the Kelos’ true wish for their son to simply be good, highlighting how moral goodness stands separate from worldly markers of success. Mr. Kelo’s words are imbued with a sense of gravitas and solemnity, as he knows that he will soon be leaving Alem alone in England.

“Alem watched as the workers waited in line for the Queen to greet them. He watched their faces, wondering if these were really the happiest people in the land; he wondered whether the Queen would also visit the homeless man that had been beaten when she was returning to the palace.”

As Alem watches television, he sees news stories about violence, including an attack on a homeless man. When the news moves on to the story about the Queen visiting workers at a factory, he sees the disparity between the people that British society believes are valuable and those they see as disposable. Alem’s focus on the suffering of a marginalized man demonstrates his early awareness of societal injustices and inequality as he begins to learn about his new country.

“Let me tell you something—they love to fight, yes, but these people are not fighting for land, they are not fighting for justice, or their beliefs, these stupid boys are fighting for chips. Why should I stay here with them?”

Alem expresses his disgust over the boys in the children’s home beating him up for the sake of a few extra French fries. Since Alem has seen war and violence his whole life, he does not understand why someone would enact violence over something so small and insignificant. The juxtaposition between larger reasons for the conflict that Alem experienced in Ethiopia and Eritrea and the boys’ trivial motives strengthens his critique of the senseless violence he experiences at the children’s home.

“Yes, you’re right. I heard about the fight and it was stupid and it is difficult to make friends here, but you must understand that every boy here is here because they have problems at home, and some of them have no home at all. Everyone’s problems are different. People may seem strange to you, but then you may seem strange to them. You’ve been hurt in one way, they’ve been hurt in another way.”

Mariam’s response to Alem’s frustration acknowledges the difficulties he faces at the children’s home while providing a broader, more mature perspective on the situation. She reminds Alem that although most of the boys in the children’s home have not experienced war, all have been hurt in a significant way that Alem might not understand. By emphasizing that for all their differences, the boys share a common experience of having been hurt in some way, Mariam encourages Alem to have empathy for those around him.

“The system is not fair. There is no one more innocent than you, but look at the way you’ve been treated. Criminals are all over the world but the big difference between a dictatorship and a democracy is that in a democracy the criminals are voted in.”

Mariam expresses bitterness over The Challenges of Asylum Systems, particularly over the way the system treats people like criminals when they have come to a country looking for safety and aid. She establishes a stark contrast between asylum seekers like Alem, who are innocent but treated terribly, and government leaders, who are “criminal” but given power. The explicit connection she draws between the brokenness of the asylum system and the democracy that upholds that system is a crucial element in Alem’s political education.

“War is such a terrible thing, my son, I hope you never witness it again. Darkness is upon our land, it seems that every man that is alive is limping and that there are bloodstains on the dresses of all our women. Today I found the arm of a man lying at the side of a street. No body, just one arm. And I found myself asking trivial questions like, ‘Is this an Ethiopian or an Eritrean arm?’ Could you believe it? I was asking this question, I, the great Pan-Africanist. War is eating away at our souls, young man, it is terrible.”

In his letter, Mr. Kelo describes the atrocities of war that he sees in Eritrea. This quote exemplifies The Impact of War on Individuals and Families because Mr. Kelo hardly knows how to comprehend the violence around him. Rather than express horror when he saw an arm in the road, Mr. Kelo instead wondered if the man was Ethiopian or Eritrean, as if the answer to that question detracts from the brutality of the man’s death.

“You must know the truth, son. I can’t find your mother. I ask myself, what kind of a place do I live in if I can’t find your mother, my wife, and our love. But I can casually find the arm of someone I don’t know just lying in the streets.”

In his letter, Mr. Kelo has trouble processing that his wife is missing. The arm in the street reminds him of the reality of his situation and the possibility that something horrible has happened to his wife, although he does not want to face it yet. The contrast between the deeply personal description of Mrs. Kelo as “your mother, my wife, and our love” and the disembodied arm of a stranger underscores Mr. Kelo’s emotional turmoil and trauma.

“You are an African, Mariam, you know Eritrea, you know Ethiopia, and you also know that where we come from, when a woman disappears, anything is possible. They are burning down houses, they are bombing schools, there are pieces of people’s bodies lying in the streets; this is war, and war is bad wherever it is. But the war that is happening in Eritrea and Ethiopia is so cruel. It is like a family at war, it is neighbor killing neighbor. We are killing ourselves as if we never want to see ourselves again, and when you hate yourself this much, anything is possible.”

After learning of his mother’s disappearance, Alem knows that she has probably been kidnapped or murdered. Even though Mariam and the Fitzgeralds try to comfort him and tell him that he should not leap to conclusions about his mother, Alem has seen the brutality of the Eritrean-Ethiopian War with his own eyes. Alem compares the ruthlessness of the war with Eritrean and Ethiopian self-hatred. He knows that self-hatred leads to the possibility of inflicting pain on other people and becoming desensitized to people’s pain.

“He couldn’t understand why kids who had the opportunity of going to school would want to go into a classroom and make a lot of noise and not learn. Least of all could he understand why some kids would play truant when they had the privilege of going to school. School was preparation for the future, as far as Alem was concerned, and he had no intention of going into the future unprepared.”

This quote illustrates Alem’s use of education as both a way to cope with trauma and a tool to prepare for the future. Alem knows that attending school is a privilege, and he does not understand how other children take that luxury for granted, revealing a contrast between Alem’s serious approach to learning and other students’ lack of appreciation for it. Alem’s emphasis on being prepared for the future provides an insight into the value he places on being forward-thinking and responsible.

“There was a time when we had to be careful just because we were Irish. We were treated as if we were all members of the IRA. And I tell you no lie, not so long ago anyone who had any ideas of their own were called looney left or communist, and if you believed most of those so-called newspapers, all the ills in the country were caused by them. Now they want to tell us that the blacks and the refugees are causing all our problems. The truth is that the number of people that leave this country each year is much higher than the number of people that come here.”

Mr. Fitzgerald tells Alem about the discrimination that he and Mrs. Fitzgerald faced when they came to England. He knows that the government always tries to find some group to blame so that they do not have to take responsibility for the problems in the country. By outlining the various populations that have been targeted at different times in England, he contextualizes Alem’s individual struggle as part of a shared, multigenerational struggle for acceptance and fair treatment.

“She could feel his tears penetrating her clothes so they dropped on to her shoulder, but she could also feel Alem hugging the family he was missing.”

Ruth comforting Alem over his mother’s death marks the beginning of the development of their relationship. When Ruth lets Alem hug her, she knows he is using her to hug his mother who has now died. In this moment, Ruth serves as a physical tie between the family Alem finds in England and the family he has left behind in Ethiopia and Eritrea.

“Yes, but I’m not wanted here. Look, I have to go to court to stay here. In the papers they call us names. This country may be good for some things but if this country was so good, why do I have to go to court to get some of this goodness? Why do they not believe me?”

After his mother dies, Alem wonders if he should keep trying to stay in England. Alem feels unwelcome in the country and starts to wonder if it would be easier if he returned to Eritrea and Ethiopia. His words illustrate how The Challenges of Asylum Systems can be psychologically draining, causing asylum seekers like Alem to question whether they truly belong in the country.

“‘Let’s go to Asher’s house—you’ll like him, he’s Ethiopian or Eritrean or something like that.’ Alem became very thoughtful and didn’t respond straightaway. Then he asked, ‘What do you mean “something like that,” don’t you know where he’s from? Are you sure he’s even from Africa?’”

Robert’s racist remark makes Alem realize that many Europeans do not distinguish between countries in Africa but rather lump the entire continent together. Robert’s comment makes Alem feel discriminated against because it erases his cultural and ethnic identity. This quote coming from his friend, who means no harm, highlights the way racism can deeply permeate a culture.

“The thing is, Africa has been divided up by the Europeans, you know, the slave drivers and the colonizers, so we say Africa must unite. Without uniting, Africa will continue to be exploited by Babylon, so we want to unite Africa.”

Asher has similar ideas to Mr. Kelo because he believes that they can save Africa by uniting as one continental nation. He refers to Europe as Babylon, a Rastafarian term, which connects his belief system about the unity of Africa to his religion. Although Alem does not have the same religion as Asher, he does agree with his interpretation of how Africa needs to break free from exploitation and unite in peace.

“‘Let me tell you something, young man,’ he continued, ‘real men cry, real men have feelings. Any man that lives without emotions or feelings is not a real man. These people that kill and think nothing of it are cowards. Real men feel, real men cry.’”

When Mr. Kelo breaks down crying after talking to Alem about his mother’s death, he tells Alem that real men express emotions. Mr. Kelo knows that patriarchal society does not allow men to express their emotions as they should, and he does not want his son to live this way. Instead, he encourages Alem to express his sorrows and fears, rather than keeping them bottled up.

“‘She was the one who said to me and my friend Asfa that we should start an organization to bring people together. She was the one with the vision, she was the one who was not prepared to sit back and watch us tear ourselves apart.’ Alem sat back, lifted up his chest and took in a long, deep breath. ‘I know what I must do, Father,’ he said, still looking into his father’s eyes. ‘I must represent Mother’s ideas, I should promote her dream.’ His father smiled. ‘You got it, young man! You do that and that will mean that she lives.’”

Alem learns that his mother started EAST to create a community of people dedicated to creating unity in Eritrea and Ethiopia. He realizes he can keep the memory of his mother alive by promoting the peace and unity of Africa. This passage captures the profound connection Alem draws between his personal commitment to peace and the preservation of his mother’s legacy.

“Peace is possible and peace will happen; the thing is, we want it now. Some people want it but will not do anything about achieving it…All we want is a United States of Africa but we realize that before we can unite a continent, we have to unite the regions. That’s all we want. We are not a political party trying to make a government, we just want people to sing and dance together. We want peace, we want a united Africa.”

Mr. Kelo shows Alem the EAST London office to encourage him and remind him that there are people in the world who fight for peace. EAST is committed to Resilience in the Face of Adversity because its members refuse to let war and discrimination sway them from their goal of unity and peace. In describing EAST’s goals, Mr. Kelo underscores the distinction between politics and peace, suggesting that governmental action may not be the way to achieve true unity.

“But Father, who knows what will happen to us if we get sent back? We have a right to life, we have the right to be protected, and sometimes these judges and adjudicator people get it wrong. That judge doesn’t know anything about Ethiopia or Eritrea.”

In this quote, Alem reminds his father that they have a right to live as much as anyone else does, which means that they might have to fight back against the adjudicator’s ruling. Alem knows that the justice system makes mistakes, especially when it does not understand the complexities of the war between Ethiopia and Eritrea. His willingness to stand up to his father and the judicial system shows his newfound determination to advocate for justice and equality.

“Everything is politics, Father, you know this. We are here because of politics, the judge is there because of politics, and we are being sent home because of politics.”

Even though Mr. Kelo does not want to get involved in British politics, Alem reminds him that everything else in their life has been political. Alem knows that they cannot remain neutral in British politics because it affects their livelihood, as well as the livelihoods of other refugees who come after them. Alem’s words reflect his knowledge of the way that the political and asylum systems are interlinked.

“Yes, my name is Alem. In my language Alem means ‘world.’ I would love to see the day when there are no more refugees in the world and the world can live in peace.”

At the campaign march, Alem connects the meaning of his name with the campaign’s desire to fight for peace in the world. Alem understands the isolation that refugees feel and hopes that the efforts of EAST and the Refugee Council will make the world a safe place for all people. By connecting his name and struggles with broader, worldwide struggles, Alem demonstrates a growing commitment to unity and shared emancipation.

“Her life was taken by people who are really not concerned about the wellbeing of our country. She was concerned, so now she is our inspiration, she is the symbol of what is possible, because she believed that human beings are capable of enormous love when we put our hearts together. And if she were here today, each one of you would know that she represents unity and that’s what we must strive for. And I have one last message; this message is for the Eritreans and Ethiopians that are killing each other. Stop it! War is not the answer, only love will conquer. Stop fighting and let us live!”

This quote shows Mr. Kelo’s devotion to keeping the memory of his wife alive, even after her death. Mr. Kelo desperately wants the Eritrean-Ethiopian War to end because he wants to continue living in Africa. He directs his message to the governments of Ethiopia and Eritrea who continue the war even as civilians pay the price with their lives.

“Alem could also see the humiliation of his father’s face but as for himself he felt angry; he didn’t want to show it but he felt really angry. His father was a qualified person who had been in a good job and always proud to have earned every penny he had, but now he had been reduced to what amounted to living off aid. As Alem looked up and down the queue, he wondered how many people there were in the same position. Which of the men and women were doctors, lawyers, nurses, or mathematicians? Could he be standing next to one of Bosnia’s most promising architects, or an Iranian airline pilot? His father saw him silently shake his head in disgust as they shuffled down the line.”

Alem hates that his father feels humiliated by needing to use food stamps in England. Alem realizes that the British government degrades affluent and talented people from other countries with the system of government aid. This system breaks refugee’s spirits because they start to believe the lies that reduce their self-worth due to their refugee status.

“Look at me, look at all the things that I am capable of, and look at all the things you could call me—a student, a lover of literature, a budding architect, a friend, a symbol of hope even, but what am I called? A refugee.”

Alem expresses his frustration that despite everything he can offer the world, British society always views him as a refugee. This quote shows the unfairness that exists for refugees who want equality in the society that offers them asylum but will constantly have to prove themselves to those around them because of how they came into the country. At the same time, by recognizing his skills and value, Alem demonstrates that he will not let this unfairness break his sense of self-worth.