Play It As It Lays

Maria tries not to think about the negative affect the news of the pregnancy had on Carter: “She had at last done something that reached him, but now it was too late” (52). 

In a telephone conversation, Carter gives Maria the contact information for a doctor who will perform her abortion. Maria says she wants to keep the child, but Carter counters that if she does, he will take Kate. 

Maria calls the number Carter gave her to schedule the abortion. The man on the

phone asks her how advanced “the problem” is.

Maria is socializes with Helene and with BZ’s mother, Carlotta, but all she can think about is the abortion. The man on the phone instructed her to bring “a pad and a belt and $1,000 in cash” (58). Her thoughts about the life-changing decision she is about to make are juxtaposed with the meaningless chatter of Helene and Carlotta, who are talking about Carlotta’s trip to Cozumel.

The next day, Maria wakes up crying for her mother, something she has not done since her mother’s death. Maria wonders about her mother’s last moments and why her mother was driving on the desert highway in the first place. Carter calls and asks for specific details about her appointment, but she realizes he cannot conceptualize what she is going through: “Sometime in the night she had moved into a realm of miseries peculiar to women, and she had nothing to say to Carter” (61). 

In a last-ditch effort to avoid the procedure, she tries to “court miscarriage” by sleeping naked between white sheets and wearing white clothes with no underwear, hoping she will bleed on them. Les leaves three messages for her, but she does not call him back.

Because abortions are illegal, Maria must go through a series of middlemen to schedule the date, time, and location. When Maria finalizes the date, she calls Les from a payphone. His wife Felicia answers, and Maria makes painful small talk. Felicia informs Maria that they will be in Los Angeles soon and puts Les on the phone. Les asks Maria if she is okay, and she responds, “‘No. I mean yes’” (66).

Maria goes to the bank to withdraw $1,000 for the abortion and lies to the bank teller, saying she is going on a trip. Maria thinks about all the men and relationships in her life as if they were “one dreamed fuck” (68). She thinks about the men in her life—Ivan, Carter, and Les—but feels as though none of those relationships have meant anything. 

On the phone, Les says he is coming to Los Angeles and tells her they should meet. He suggests the following Monday, which is the day scheduled for Maria’s abortion. Unable to tell him why she will not be able to meet him at the airport, she hangs up the phone.