50 pages • 1 hour read
Elliot PagePageboy: A Memoir
Nonfiction | Autobiography / Memoir | Adult | Published in 2023A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Chapters 25-29Chapter Summaries & Analyses
Chapter 25 Summary: “Choosing Family”
When Page was 13, he told his mother that he only wanted to live with her. He was tired of splitting his time between two houses, and he did not want to endure Linda’s cruelty and Dennis’s indifference to his pain. Despite Page asking his mother not to say anything to his father, Martha discussed the change with Dennis.
Dennis was very upset to learn that Page no longer wanted to live with him. He drove the two of them to an isolated location, sobbed, and asked, “You love your mother more than me?” (215). Not wanting to hurt his father, Page agreed to keep living with him. Martha never brought up the subject again, and Page had to continue to hide his pain and endure Linda’s mistreatment.
When Page was in his early twenties, he and his father discussed his relationship with Linda, and Dennis said that “ninety percent of [his and Linda’s] fights were about [Page]” (218). Dennis continued to dismiss Page’s feelings about Linda and said that Page should be the bigger person and forgive her. Linda wrote Page a letter that outlined all of his faults, claiming they pushed her to mistreat him. Page is unable to forgive Linda, not having received a proper apology. Page reflects on the close friends in his life who have become his chosen family. He is no longer in contact with his father or stepmother; they have voiced their support for people who have made transphobic comments about him.
Chapter 26 Summary: “Mask”
During the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic, Page found that he was often addressed as a man when he was wearing a mask. He found the experience affirming. His marriage to Emma Portner was ending, and he was not sure of his future. He contemplated top surgery and discussed his gender with Marin Ireland, one of his costars in The Umbrella Academy. She gently agreed that he might be trans but acknowledged that only he could come to that conclusion.
In the second half of 2020, Page drove to an isolated cabin in Nova Scotia and spent some time alone. His gender dysphoria grew worse, and he wondered, “How will I do this forever?” (231). On a visit to the beach with his old friend Nikki, Page felt significant gender dysphoria and disliked what he had to wear to go swimming. He was quickly approaching his gender revelation, but he was not quite there yet.
Chapter 27 Summary: “Portal”
Page reconnected with Beatrice Brown, or Bea, with whom he acted when he was a teenager. He remembers some uncomfortable moments from the shoot when he had to film his first sex scene, which was “not a romantic, intimate scene, but coercive and abusive” (235). Page realizes that he first talked to Bea about his gender when he was 28 years old; she told him that the conversation made her feel “this sense of a world finding its breath, one that resonated with your essential life force” (238).
In the cabin, Page’s mental health spiraled. His gender dysphoria made it difficult to shower or even remove his clothes. As he struggled with his feelings, his brain told him, “You don’t have to feel this way” (240). He finally accepted that transitioning was the only way for him to be happy.
Chapter 28 Summary: “No Words”
As soon as Page accepted that he was trans and decided to pursue a medical and social transition, he stopped having doubts. He set up an appointment for top surgery in November 2020, just a few months before he was set to start filming the third season of The Umbrella Academy. Page acknowledges how privileged he is to have been able to access and afford that medical care, especially on such a tight timeline.
Page’s surgery was a success, and Mark took care of him as he recovered. Recovery was painful and emotional, but after a few days, Page could go for short walks. Having his medical drains removed from under his arms was the most painful part of the process. When he was finally able to remove the compression vest and bandages, Page was overjoyed by his new appearance. Page considers the differences between coming out as gay and coming out as trans, noting that the latter involves much more “hate and backlash” (246), disbelief, invasive questioning, and rude comments, in his experience.
Chapter 29 Summary: “Peaches”
In a brief final chapter, Page remembers attending a Peaches concert with Mark when they were both teenagers. They arrived early so that they could stand right next to the stage. The concert was electrifying, and at one point, Peaches pretended to projectile vomit fake blood. She smeared some of it up Page’s arm, and he left the fake blood on his arm for nearly two weeks. Leaving the concert with his friend, Page had the distinct feeling that he was “heading in the right direction” (250).
Chapters 25-29 Analysis
The book’s final chapters detail the culmination of Page’s journey toward Self-Discovery and Self-Acceptance. He keeps fighting with himself until he finally accepts that it is possible for him to transition and that doing so will make him happy. The moment when things finally click into place is the end of a very long journey, but Page remarks that “this moment was indeed that simple” (240), underlining that transitioning is embracing his true self. He keeps trying to find a way out of his feelings, but he ultimately has to accept the truth. The pain of keeping himself in the closet becomes more intense than the risks and worries associated with coming out. Page’s description of his feelings may help some readers gain a better understanding of how and why trans people choose to transition. While Page is careful to say that his story is just one of many, certain themes are common in coming-out stories. Most notably, the decision to come out is rarely one that is taken lightly. It is not something that people do without carefully considering their options, reflecting to be very sure of their feelings, and ultimately choosing the option that has the potential to lead to the greatest happiness and self-actualization.
Page does not detail Anti-LGBTQ Sentiments in Hollywood in these chapters, but he does allude to some pro-LGBTQ sentiments. He notes that he scheduled his top surgery operation for shortly before the third season of The Umbrella Academy was set to start filming. Though Page does not say this directly, the creators of the show chose to adjust Page’s character to reflect his transition. His character started the season by coming out to the other characters, and their reactions were positive and affirming. This detail of Page’s career is a counterpoint to many of the other experiences he describes in Pageboy and might signal a small shift in some Hollywood attitudes toward trans characters.
In the book’s final chapter, Page provides another counterpoint to mainstream Hollywood’s anti-LGBTQ bias. He recounts his teenage memory of a Peaches concert, which was “arguably the queerest space [he] had been in at that point in [his] life” (248). Page was able to find community among like-minded people long before he was able to formally come out. This chapter serves as an important reminder that despite the hegemonic impact of Hollywood movies and TV on contemporary North American culture, there are other independent spaces and other artistic expressions that have the potential to be more subversive, countercultural, and accepting for people who might not fit in or see themselves in mainstream media.
Not all of Page’s Complex Interpersonal Relationships get neatly resolved by the end of Pageboy. Despite several attempts at reconciliation, Page has not been able to come to an understanding with his father and stepmother. Dennis’s passivity in earlier chapters becomes emotional manipulation when he finds out Page no longer wants to live with him, isolating Page until he feels guilty enough to change his mind. In Page’s adult attempts to discuss his childhood pain, Dennis and Linda remain unwilling to meet him halfway or take genuine responsibility for their actions, in some cases blaming him for their actions.
Ultimately, Pageboy suggests that reconciliation is not always possible or even desirable. True healing and happiness might involve stepping away from people who continually cause pain. Page is able to be fully himself when he finds people who can see him for who he is instead of expecting him to be someone else, reaffirming the earlier emphasis on his chosen family. For Page, that means fostering his relationship with his mother, valuing his friends, and allowing himself to get some distance from the people who have caused him pain. He describes Mark’s profoundly selfless care of him after his surgery, which sounds very much like the kind of care a parent might provide for his child. The text ends on an optimistic note, asserting through tone that Page has made the right decision for himself and is looking forward to the future.
