Opposite of Always

“Maybe it’s that, for the first time in three years, I feel like it’s okay that Jillian and I will never be. That after a few minutes on some crusty stairs I can suddenly see a different future. An alternate ending, or two.”

When Jack first meets Kate, it has a considerable effect on him. Particularly, it allows him to start letting go of a longstanding crush he has had on Jillian. The author juxtaposes the ordinary nature of the location they first meet—“some crusty stairs”—with the sudden feeling Jack has that everything will change, evidenced by describing “a different future.” Justin A. Reynolds’s presentation of one or two alternate endings foreshadows the time-traveling Jack will soon experience and each timeline’s different outcome.

“But sometimes it’s like they want so much for me, they’re planning on me doing all these cool things, and I don’t know, like, I worry about letting them down. I mean, they’ve funneled so much of their energy and love into me, while doing their best not to seriously screw me up, but sometimes I still feel like I’m just a screwup waiting to happen.”

These lines reveal Jack’s low self-esteem and fear of failure—characteristics he must overcome in his character arc to achieve his goals. Jack’s use of language like “a screwup waiting to happen” and feeling that others are waiting on him “doing all these cool things” emphasize the self-criticism and weight of external expectations Jack feels. His use of contrast between his friends and family, who have funneled energy and love into him, and his fear of failing further characterizes his negative self-talk.

“‘Man, I just want to live.’ ‘Like, live life to the fullest?’ ‘That too, yeah.’”

This dialogue between Jack and Kate characterizes Kate by revealing her motivation and hints at the life-threatening nature of her disease. This contrasts with Jack, who’s worried about prom, graduation, college, crushes, and friendships—aspects more typically associated with teenage life. Kate’s assertion that she just wants to live, which Jack misinterprets as living to the fullest, foreshadows her mortality, with which Jack will soon contend.

“‘That’s life, though. You have problems. But you keep trying. You fight for the things you love.’ […] So, maybe it’s not how something ends that matters. Maybe it’s about having something good, even for a little while.”

Jack fears not being able to hold on to the good things in his life and the people he loves. This fear nearly prevents him from going after these things, as he fears enduring the pain of loss. Jillian’s advice here reframes Jack’s worries and emphasizes the importance of living in the moment, evidenced by describing “having something good, even for a little while” as having more weight than how things end.

“I want you to remember me…not as a sick [B]lack girl with chicken legs from some no-name suburbs. I want you to remember me like this, right now. The moonlight over your shoulder, stretching against the night, the stars fluttering. Remember me like this. The rain slanting, the fog rolling. The street-lights flickering on. Every time you feel or see another evening like this, I want you to think of me smiling, laughing at you. Remember me, remember us, as a time of day.”

Shortly before she dies in the first timeline, Kate says this to Jack. She resisted telling him about her illness because she didn’t want it to change how he thought of her. Similarly, she wants him to remember her as vibrant after she’s gone rather than by her weakened physical state. The author employs vivid imagery and sensory details to evoke a contrast between Kate’s reality—a sick girl with “chicken legs”—and this particular moment, described by the weather, atmosphere, and positive emotions of smiling and laughter. The anaphora of Kate repeating “remember” establishes an urgent tone to what she’s telling Jack.

“‘Mom, can I ask you something?’ ‘Oh, Lord.’ ‘At any point in your life, have you blacked out, suffered through an agonizing pain and wondered if you were about to explode into human confetti, only to wake up several months back into the past?’”

In this quote, Jack uses hyperbole with the phrase “explode into human confetti” to convey the intensity of his experience, exaggerating to emphasize emotional turmoil. The dialogue creates a conversational tone, mixing humor and seriousness, as evidenced by Jack’s mother’s initial reaction to his question. It highlights the irony of his situation, which is so unbelievable that he doesn’t make any effort to hide the truth, as she will assume that he’s joking.

“Well, I’m sorry. You guys deserve better. Have always given me better. I owe everyone here an apology. I think it’s just that I’d finally gotten what I’d always wanted, what I saw my two best friends have, and what my parents have, being so wonderfully intertwined with someone else, so cosmically tangled that you have no idea where they start and you end.”

After neglecting his friends and obligations to his parents to spend as much time as possible with Kate, Jack apologizes. He uses descriptive language to reveal why he has been so devoted to Kate, saying he is “wonderfully intertwined” and “cosmically tangled” with her. Jack’s apology highlights his and Kate’s strong connection and his efforts to take Accountability in Interpersonal Conflict.

“The thing is, you don’t forfeit your whole world to prove your feelings to someone. You bring your worlds together. You get more world, not less.”

Jack’s mother says this to him when he admits he’s struggled to find a balance between spending time with his old friends and his new girlfriend. She reveals the consequences of his actions, evidenced by comparing his actions to forfeiting his “whole world”—his friends and family—to prove his commitment to Kate. This advice depicts the supportive role Jack’s parents play in his life and the need to bring his worlds together, seeing it as an opportunity to gain “more” rather than abandoning one’s existing relationships altogether.

“And I haven’t the slightest idea what to say. But I wonder if I could (peacefully) rob a bank or somehow rig the lottery.”

When Jack learns that the only doctor whose treatment methods show promise for Kate’s illness is financially out of reach, he feels at a loss for words. Although he is committed to Loving Someone with a Chronic Illness, he feels out of his depth. This leads him to suggest drastic measures such as robbing a bank peacefully or rigging the lottery to secure the necessary funds. While these methods are extreme and not possible, his immediate jump to these ideas underscores his devotion to Kate.

“Nothing good in life comes easy, but it’s about deciding each day that you will stick with it. You choose to stay, to work hard, to love, and you keep choosing.”

Jack says this during his toast at his parents’ 30th anniversary party. He qualifies it as something his parents have told him ever since he could walk. This demonstrates their influence on his outlook and the mentality he will need to embody on his time-traveling journey.

“Nope, nope, it’s going to work. It has to work. In the history of the world, when has gambling ever not worked out?”

Jack says this to himself as a pep talk regarding his plan to make money for Kate’s medical treatments by placing a large bet on Mandrake University to win March Madness. Changing from “it’s going to work” to “it has to work” reveals how desperate he is to save Kate and chooses not to consider any negative outcomes. The rhetorical question asking when gambling has ever not worked also creates irony, as the opposite is more often true.

“Unfortunately, luck continues to ignore my friend requests.”

This quote is another example of how the author’s voice aligns with the book’s targeted audience: young adult readers. He writes from the perspective of a teenager, using contemporary terms like friend requests. He also adds depth to his narrative voice through figurative language. In this case, he uses personification to suggest luck is actively avoiding Jack.

“So, tell me the truth. What’s so wrong with me that my dad would go out of his way to not be around me? How come my dad doesn’t want me, man? Why aren’t I good enough? How come he doesn’t love me back?”

This line depicts Franny in a vulnerable moment. Typically, he suppresses his emotions and handles his frustrations physically. However, here, he pleads with Jack to tell him the truth about why his dad isn’t around. Though logically, Franny knows his father is responsible for his absence from his life, Franny fears he’s unworthy of his father’s love. Here, he repeatedly phrases his father’s distance as his fault, evidenced by Franny describing himself as “wrong” and not “good enough.” 

“Dad swears under his breath, and Mom has tears in her eyes; they’ve seen this show before. Franny’s Dad Sucks only has one episode and it runs on loop.”

Jack uses a television show called “Franny’s Dad Sucks” as a metaphor for The Coupon’s episodic involvement in Franny’s life and his history of repeatedly disappointing Franny. This is an example of Jack’s narrative voice, as he often turns descriptions into formal titles. By describing it as running on a loop, Jack underscores the cyclical nature of The Coupon’s absence. The details of Jack’s father swearing under his breath and tears welling up in his mother’s eyes emphasize their investment in and care for Franny. They act as treat him like a second son, providing needed love and support.

“I explode into the air in a manic flurry of fist-pumping and chest-bumping, although the chest-bumping is just me bumping my chest against random inanimate things.”

This description emphasizes Jack’s energy as his plan gets off to a successful start. It describes his actions using hyperbole of him exploding into the air. Additionally, it uses imagery and rhyming in “a manic flurry of first-pumping and chest-bumping” to imbue the line with vivid, sensory detail. Jack revealing that he’s chest-bumping inanimate objects also inflects humor into the scene.

“‘Everyone thinks they know what’s best for me. When did my opinion stop mattering?’ I pull her closer, and I see the curtain move in the front window behind us. We have an audience. ‘I don’t care what anyone else says. If you want me here, Kate, I’ll never leave.’”

Kate says this to Jack after her father urges Jack to leave her alone. Her rhetorical question—“When did my opinion stop mattering?”—underscores her frustration with being disregarded by others and emphasizes a loss of agency. Because of Kate’s sickle cell disease, Kate’s father feels he must protect her from anything or anyone that might add stress and exacerbate her condition. However, Kate knows Jack will bring her happiness, not heartache, and Jack makes the choice to honor her wishes and be there for her. Describing the audience watching them acknowledges the criticism with which they may be met, something that doesn’t dissuade Jack’s actions.

“For your convenience, I’ve prepared a table of the highlowlights for you. Mom and Dad’s Table of Supreme Sadness & Major Disappointment.”

Jack documents his parents’ reaction to the news that he betrayed Franny by inserting an infographic charting their comments. The comments are what Jack perceives his parents must be thinking, showing how guilty he feels. The sentence in which Jack crosses out “high” and replaces it with “lowlights” and the chart’s title provide examples of Jack’s distinct voice. In this instance, he uses a sarcastic tone as a coping mechanism, attempting to transform sadness into humor while dealing with his fear of being a disappointment.

“She’s not Kate. But of course she’s not. She’s Jillian. And Jillian is incredibly awesome in her own right. And we’re happy together, right? Right. Then how come it feels like I’ve made a mistake?”

Although Jack longed to be with Jillian for years, once he meets Kate, he can no longer truly see himself with anyone else. His recognition of the fact that his relationship with Jillian feels off, not because there’s anything Jillian lacks but merely because she isn’t Kate, underscores the deep connection he feels to Kate.

“You jealous of me? When you have, like, literally everything. Parents who actually care about you, and who have been around your whole life, a nice house in a safe neighborhood, food on the table that you didn’t have to figure out how to scrape together, more clothes than you can count. Literally, a bag full of money. And I have, what? Man, I don’t even know. But at least I had you. A best friend who made the world a little less cold, you know. And then I get lucky, and I get someone else good in my life…Jillian…and she makes everything bearable, everything better…and you took her from me the same way everyone has taken every good thing away from me.”

After betraying Franny with Jillian, Jack attempts to explain his actions by saying he’s always been jealous of Franny, which Franny counters. The quote uses contrast to highlight Franny’s feelings of inadequacy and disadvantages. He juxtaposes his hardships with Jack’s more privileged life, enumerating the disparities—listing Jack’s advantages, such as supportive parents and material wealth, against his emotional and material struggles. The phrase “made the world a little less cold” employs metaphor, illustrating that Franny’s relationship with Jack was vital to his survival, and he no longer feels this. By describing Jack as someone who took everything good away from Franny, he conveys deep frustration and a sense of betrayal.

“And more than anything, I want another chance. One more reset to undo this tragedy. Only I can’t count on some magic that I don’t even understand. Not this time. Not when this could be the last time. And what if this is what I have to live with, for the rest of my life? Knowing that because of me, maybe Kate lives, but Franny dies?”

Jack’s parents postpone their anniversary party because Franny is still in the hospital after being shot. Jack fears that every negative occurrence in this timeline and all the timelines after the first reset are his fault. While the time loop confuses him, evidenced by describing it as “some magic that I don’t even understand,” Jack still wants additional chances to undo tragedies in his life. While he is committed to Lessons Learned Through Facing Repeated Challenges, Jack still sees himself as in control of his loved ones’ fates.

“Every damn time, and each day I wake up new, I choose your mom.”

Jack’s father says this about his relationship with Jack’s mother. Every day, he wakes up anew and chooses her. This matter-of-fact statement mirrors Jack’s experience with the time loop, as he must choose to wake up each day new and remain committed to those he loves.

“‘Oh, come on, guys. In the dairy section? This is a bit cheesy.’ But I don’t really mean it. Because if there’s one thing I appreciate after all this time, it’s expressing your love while you can. Never take time, or love, for granted.”

This quote uses a pun in the phrase “a bit cheesy,” playing on the double meaning of “cheesy” as both a literal reference to dairy and a colloquial expression for something overly sentimental, which Jack sees in his parents’ affection for one another. Through his experiences, Jack realizes the importance of making the most of the time you have together. Jack sees his parents do this by regularly showing each other affection, which models enduring love for him.,

“She taught me that almost doesn’t have to be a bad thing. You can try your hardest to change something—exhaust every possibility—and sometimes it’s still not enough. But almost means you were there. You did all you could. In the end, it’s the smallest decisions that matter most.”

This quote marks a notable shift in Jack’s character arc. At the beginning of the novel, he had poor self-esteem. It held him back from achieving his goals and recognizing his worth. What he would previously see as a failure and entirely his fault—saving Kate’s life—he now acknowledges being there is enough, and many outcomes are out of his control. Previously, Jack viewed himself as an expert in almost; now, he sees “almost” as a marker of his commitment to showing up for his loved ones and doing everything he could.