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Pat MoraA modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
As the title suggests, “Old Love” is a love poem. Unlike many love poems, however, it does not focus on the beginning or the peak of a love affair, neither the early thrill of infatuation nor the blissful days of romantic happiness. It also does not belong to the subcategory of love poems that express the pain of a love affair cut short by tragically early death, infidelity, or loss of interest. In this case, the love is “Sixty years” (Line 20) old, and the aunt passed away at the age of “eighty-seven” (Line 11). Therefore, the man and the woman fell in love when she was in her twenties, and he was most likely about the same age. Within these sixty years, there must have been ups and downs, high and lows, but the poem does not simply celebrate the highs or mourn the lows. In only 22 lines, it captures the fullness of a lasting relationship, a life partnership. To the uncle, she is still “my girl” (Lines 4 and 5), which evokes the passion of their youth, but he also remembers the many New Year’s Eves they spent together through the years. No doubt, most of the time during these yearly festivities, they “sang / and laughed and hugged” (Lines 16-17) like the others, though at midnight she would look at him “with tears in her eyes” (Line 19), knowing that this happiness cannot last forever. Their love, their life partnership, lasted about as long as any earthly love can, but her tears were a reminder of mortality and of human awareness that even the happiest lives, the most loving relationships, must come to an end.
Even knowing that death is inevitable, and even having the fortune of sharing 60 years with the person one loves, will not prevent the grief caused by the loved one’s passing. The speaker in “Old Love” captures their uncle in the moment of immense grief that precedes acceptance. Eventually, the uncle will come to terms with his wife’s death and, hopefully, be comforted by the memory of the happy days they shared. Right now, however, having “raised his hands” (Line 2), he rages at the heavens like “a prophet in the Bible” (Line 3) wondering why God would allow His chosen people to suffer (see Symbols and Motifs). The repetition of the mournful cry “I’ve lost my girl” (Lines 4 and 5) conveys the intensity of his pain. The speaker is surprised by the sight of her “quiet uncle raising his voice” (Line 9), which suggests that such a vocal emotional outburst does not represent his typical behavior. The grief has brought out a side of the uncle that his niece or nephew had not seen before. Perhaps the speaker did not realize until this moment the full strength and depth of this “old love,” although they must have observed its gentler, quieter manifestations through the years. In fact, the poem suggests that we are often oblivious to the intensity of emotional connections between people around us, especially those of an older generation, like an aunt and an uncle, or even our own parents. This moment of the uncle’s grief stands out to the speaker in part because it opens their eyes to the inner life of a person whose mundane presence they have taken for granted. Thus, the poem is not only about an old man’s grief but also about the speaker’s realization that powerful feelings have resided in the heart of this quiet man throughout his life.
It is significant that the poem does not merely give voice to the uncle’s grief in isolation. Mora has written many persona poems, in which the whole poem consists of the words or thoughts of a specific character who is not the author (for more see Rhetorical Context), and she could have written this one in that manner, making the uncle the only speaker in the poem. Instead, she chose to mediate the uncle’s words through the perception of his niece or nephew, giving the poem another layer of meaning. The poem describes a moment of intergenerational epiphany: the younger person’s sudden and striking realization about the older person whom they have known their whole life. The speaker and the uncle are probably close since the uncle shares that intimate memory of the aunt’s tears on New Year’s Eve (Lines 15-19). The speaker must have known the uncle well, including knowing him to be a loving person, yet his emotional outburst catches them by surprise: “I didn’t know what to say, / where to look” (Lines 7-8). The speaker is slightly embarrassed because they have never seen their uncle emotionally naked before. Mora emphasizes the speaker’s reaction by placing it in a separate stanza. This is a moment that the speaker will never forget because they now see their uncle in a new light and have a deeper connection with him. His words are likely to have a profound impact on the speaker’s own views on and experience of love.
By Pat Mora