My Husband

Ariane is also happy because it is a Thursday, which she views as another Monday, a day for resets. She misses two calls from her husband, and then calls him back to remind him to bring the children to the conservatory in the afternoon. Her buoyant mood begins to change around lunchtime, when the doubt creeps in that perhaps she dreamt of her husband’s declaration of love. However, she reminds herself that he said he loved her thrice. She could not have dreamt that. 

Ariane immerses herself in the translation exercise she has set her students, an English song with the lyrics “sweep me off my feet” (121). This is the song that was playing when she first met her husband at a concert. Ariane and her students ponder over translating the phrase “sweep me off my feet,” which does not have an exact French equivalent. Ariane often tends to choose passages featuring romantic love or existentialism as exercises, as these subjects interest her. She also knows her students like these topics, as a person’s capacity for emotions is especially heightened between the ages of 15 and 18.

Ariane remembers that her husband was with a friend the night he met her. She had always wanted to ask the man how it felt to witness her instant chemistry with her husband, but before she could get his version of events, the friend died in a car accident. Ariane feels his death robbed her of a part of the narrative of her love story. 

Her thoughts drift to her wedding vows. Exchanging elaborate vows is not part of French culture, but Ariane wanted the Anglo-Saxon custom included in her wedding. She had asked her husband to read out a heartfelt speech at the wedding, as she planned to do. The day of the wedding her husband read out a short speech saying he would always love her. Ariane, whose own planned speech was much longer, was devastated. She swapped out that speech for a brief declaration of love.

The memory of the wedding vows fills Ariane with anxiety once more. She calls up her husband and asks him if he said he loved her last night. Her husband says a brusque no. Ariane begins to think that perhaps her husband had said “let’s go” (127) as they left the house in the morning, which in her sleep-deprived state she imagined as “love you” (127) said during the night. 

Now the joyous Thursday yellow transforms into the yellow of sickness, lies, and infidelity for Ariane. She texts someone that she will meet them at 5:30 in the evening. At home, she reads from her green notebook, filled with inspirational quotes. Gathering courage from the quotes, she steps out for her 5:30 meeting.

Ariane’s meeting is with Maxime, a father she met at her children’s school. She has been exchanging flirtatious texts with Maxime for weeks. As the date progresses, Ariane compares Maxime unfavorably with her husband. Her husband is her gold standard for men and would never refer to their children as the “older one” and the “younger one,” as Maxime does. To distract herself from Maxime’s flaws, she looks at his beautiful eyes. Ariane feels she must get through the evening, having incited passion in Maxime. Soon, Maxime touches her intimately under her skirt, arousing her. They leave for the hotel room Maxime has booked.

Maxime’s lovemaking is sensual and attentive, unlike that of Ariane’s husband. Ariane is surprised by the pleasure she feels with Maxime as she lets go of her inhibitions. With her husband, Ariane always has to pretend to be aloof, but with Maxime she can be expressive about her desire. As Maxime places a hand under her head to keep it from striking the headboard as they make love, the tender gesture makes Ariane break out in tears. Later, Maxime tells her she has a purplish mole on her back that she should get checked by a doctor. Maxime takes a picture of the mole for Ariane’s reference; she deletes it to keep their affair a secret. 

The next photo that comes up on Maxime’s phone is of his beautiful wife Clemence. Ariane thinks that if a man can cheat on someone as gorgeous as Clemence, her husband can cheat on her too. She decides that the affair with Maxime, like her other dalliances, is over. Ariane never feels guilty about her affairs, as they are never emotional. Besides, they are meant as a punishment for her husband.

Ariane’s infidelity has had the unusual effect of making her desire her husband even more. She rushes home to him. Over the evening, she watches him, admiring his looks and clothes. Ariane fervently hopes for her husband to make love to her that night. She pretends to read as he takes a bath. Her husband emerges from the bath naked, indicating that he wants sex with her. He doesn’t undress Ariane, but asks her to take off her clothes. There is little foreplay. Ariane does not mind as she feels her age for experimentation is over. 

The lovemaking is different than with Maxime; now Ariane doesn’t think of bodies or fluids but of abstract forms. She silences her moans, noticing her husband is more excited than usual. She does not know what excited him as his erotic triggers have never been obvious. Even though they are joined in lovemaking, Ariane feels her husband’s absence, as if he is holding back from her. She notices a piece of tissue sticking from under the mattress: It is a folk “love potion” she placed there herself to invite more ardor into her marriage.