My Fair Lady

Meanwhile, on Tottenham Court Road, Alfie Doolittle—Eliza’s father—and his two friends, Harry and Jamie, are being kicked out of the pub for being broke. Doolittle suggests that Eliza should be passing by on her way home soon, and they can probably persuade her to give them some drinking money. Doolittle insists that she owes him. Harry and Jamie laugh at Doolittle, reminding him that he has never done anything as a father and barely sees Eliza, but Doolittle argues that she owes him for giving her life.

Eliza enters, sees her father, and preemptively says she won’t give him money. Turning on the same bid for sympathy that Eliza just made to Higgins, Doolittle pleads with Eliza not to make him go home to her stepmother sober. Eliza scoffs at the word “stepmother” (16) and Doolittle claims that he wants to marry her. Relenting, Eliza shares some of her recent good fortune, reminding him not to expect it again before exiting. Doolittle sings “With a Little Bit of Luck,” backed by Harry and Jamie, about how he always lives life on the edge instead of working and is constantly squeaking by with the grace of a little luck.

The next day, Higgins and Pickering are sitting in the dark in Higgins’s home office, listening to Higgins’s recordings of vowels in various accents. Pickering is beginning to find this torturous, but Higgins insists that they can hear better in darkness. Mrs. Pearce, Higgins’s housekeeper, enters and informs Higgins that a young woman has come to see him. Baffled, Higgins asks if she has an unusual accent. Mrs. Pearce confirms that it is “something dreadful” (22), and Higgins, pleased, tells her to bring her in, thrilled for the opportunity to show Pickering how he records accents.

When she returns with Eliza, Higgins is immediately disappointed, as he already has all the documentation he needs of her accent. Brusquely, Higgins tells Eliza to leave. Undeterred, Eliza tells him not to be “so saucy” (22). She explains that she has come for the English lessons he mentioned last night, which she intends to pay for so she can get a better job. Eliza, who is proud to have arrived in a taxi, demands to be treated like a lady and is offended when he calls her “baggage” (24). Pickering reminds Higgins of his bragging that he could pass her off as royalty within six months and suggests a wager. If Higgins can do it, he’ll pay for the lessons and all costs of the experiment and vice versa if he can’t. Higgins relishes the idea of transforming someone so “deliciously low” (26).

Decidedly, Higgins tells Mrs. Pearce to take Eliza off, strip her naked, scrub her with sandpaper, order new clothes, and burn the ones she’s wearing, wrapping her in butcher paper until they arrive. Eliza is insulted by the way he’s treating her, and Higgins adds that if Eliza disobeys, Mrs. Pearce should beat her. Mrs. Pearce is resistant, exclaiming that he can’t just take in a strange girl who might have family at home (Eliza acknowledges that she doesn’t). At Eliza’s prompting, Pickering objects to the way Higgins speaks to Eliza. To appease Mrs. Pearce and Pickering, Higgins tells Eliza that she will live in his house for six months. If she obeys, she’ll be treated well and given endless chocolates to eat. Then, she’ll attend a ball at Buckingham Palace where she’ll either be taken for royalty or beheaded for daring to impersonate.

Everyone gives in, and Eliza goes off with Mrs. Pearce. Pickering tells Higgins that he insists that Eliza won’t be taken advantage of as a young woman, and Higgins scoffs. He sing-speaks “I’m An Ordinary Man,” asserting that all he wants is a quiet life with his books and scholarship, but when a man invites a woman into his life, she only destroys his peace. He finishes the song by turning on all the phonographs with records of vowels at high volume and speed until they chatter obnoxiously, declaring, “I shall never let a woman in my life” (35).

Back on Tottenham Court Road, Doolittle, Harry, and Jamie, are being tossed out of the same pub. A Cockney woman named Mrs. Hopkins is surrounded by a laughing crowd. Seeing Doolittle, she comments that he can pay for his bar tab now, considering that his daughter has moved into a wealthy man’s house. Doolittle has no idea what she’s talking about. Mrs. Hopkins tells him that Eliza hasn’t been home in three days: She sent for some things to be brought to 27-A Wimpole Street, but only a birdcage and a fan—no clothes. She gives Eliza’s belongings to Doolittle. Happily, Doolittle reprises “With A Little Bit of Luck” and exits with Eliza’s things.

In Higgins’s study, Mrs. Pearce has brought the mail. She tells Higgins that he is working Eliza too hard. She also has the third letter from Ezra D. Wallingford, an American millionaire, requesting Higgins to speak before the Moral Reform League. Higgins is not interested.

A butler enters and informs Higgins that a dustman named Alfred Doolittle has come to see him. Pickering is concerned that he might cause trouble, but Higgins is certain that he will be the one causing trouble for Doolittle. When Doolittle enters and says that he needs to talk to Higgins about his daughter, Higgins immediately tells Doolittle to take her away. He leads Doolittle into a conversation of deliberate misunderstandings, commenting with sardonic admiration on Doolittle’s way with language. Doolittle insists that he isn’t there to extort as Higgins accuses, but he thinks he deserves five pounds as compensation.

Pickering interjects that they only have honorable intentions, and Doolittle replies that he would have asked for 50 pounds if he had believed otherwise. Doolittle explains that he can’t afford morals. Amused, Higgins decides to give him 10 pounds, but Doolittle declines, stating that 10 pounds is too much and would make him feel like he had a responsibility. Higgins muses, “Pickering, if we listen to this man another minute we shall have no convictions left” (45). He gives Doolittle five pounds.

Eliza storms in, exclaiming that she’s been saying her vowels for three days, and she won’t do it any longer. Doolittle doesn’t recognize her at first, but Eliza demands to know what he’s doing there. Doolittle tells her to behave and listen to the two men, suggesting that they beat her with a strap if she doesn’t. He leaves. Higgins tells Mrs. Pearce to write to the millionaire and tell him to contact Alfred P. Doolittle if he wants a lecturer.

Eliza says her vowels for Higgins, still pronouncing them with her accent. He demands that she practice until they’re correct, and there will be no meals or chocolate until she does. Higgins exits, and an enraged Eliza sings “Just You Wait,” a rant of her revenge fantasies about Higgins in which she has the power instead of him.

After a blackout, the scene shifts into a series of training sessions. In each, Eliza can’t say the phrase she’s given without her accent. In between these short sessions, the servants sing “The Servants’ Chorus,” expressing pity for Higgins for working himself to exhaustion (and, notably, with no pity for Eliza). It gets late, and Eliza watches hungrily as they eat in front of her.

All three grow tired and frustrated, and at one point, a frazzled Pickering accidentally takes on Eliza’s accent. Then, it’s three o’clock in the morning, and Higgins is urging Eliza to continue, even though they both have headaches. This time, instead of berating or starving her, he acknowledges that she is exhausted and her head hurts, adding, “But think what you’re trying to accomplish […] The majesty and grandeur of the English Language. It’s the greatest possession we have. That’s what you’ve set yourself to conquer. And conquer it you will” (56).

This catches her attention, and she stares at him in amazement. Then, at Higgins’s direction to try it again, Eliza says, “The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain” (56), but this time, she pronounces it perfectly. Higgins is stunned. She begins to sing “The Rain in Spain,” and the two men join in. In the song, Higgins prompts her to say other training phrases, and she says those perfectly as well. They dance joyfully in celebration, their exhaustion forgotten, waking Mrs. Pearce and some of the servants. Higgins denies that they’ve made any noise.

Higgins tells Pickering that he thinks Eliza is ready for a public trial. He decides that they will go to the opening day of the Ascot horse race, as his mother has a box, although he decides to surprise his mother instead of telling her about Eliza. Higgins tells Eliza to keep working and goes back to talking to Pickering about the races. Higgins notes that Eliza will need a dress and has very specific thoughts about what the dress should look like, miming his idea of the sash on Pickering, who considers this thoughtfully.

Mrs. Pearce decides that they’re all showing signs of strain, and Eliza must go to bed, regardless of Higgins’s orders. But Eliza, who has been quiet, sings “I Could Have Danced All Night,” expressing her unexpected elation at her triumph and her surprising feelings of happiness when Higgins danced with her. She is starry-eyed and certain she couldn’t possibly sleep. She now sings only in an aristocratic English accent. The maids join in and put her to bed, but she gets up again to sing the last line.

Outside Ascot, Mrs. Higgins is unpleasantly surprised to learn from Pickering that her son is planning to attend the race. Higgins has a way of driving her friends away. Pickering adds that Higgins is bringing a girl, attempting to explain quickly who Eliza is, how she came to live with Higgins, and why she is coming to Ascot today. Mrs. Higgins is baffled that her son is bringing a flower girl to the race, and she suggests that her driver stay close in case she must leave.

Dressed in ostentatiously formal attire, the entire ensemble gathers to sing “Ascot Gavotte,” noting that every important person of the nobility is present for the opening races. They are completely dispassionate and stony-faced as they sing about their excitement and watch the first race in silence.

Higgins enters and greets his mother. Higgins explains that Eliza has been coached about what is proper to say, although Mrs. Higgins is doubtful. She criticizes her son for failing to dress properly for the event. He tells her that Eliza is with Pickering having last-minute alterations to her dress. Mrs. Higgins remarks, “You’re a pretty pair of babies playing with your live doll” (67).

Mrs. Eynsford-Hill and Freddy arrive with Lord and Lady Boxington, and Higgins rudely expresses dismay that his mother has invited so many people to her box. Mrs. Higgins comments dryly about his lack of manners. Then Pickering enters with Eliza, and Mrs. Higgins welcomes her warmly.

Eliza speaks carefully, managing to work some of the phrases that Higgins gave her as practice exercises into the conversation to comic effect. When conversation turns to weather and influenza, Eliza tells them about her aunt who died of influenza. To their horror, she explains that she believes someone murdered her, although her father had treated her with copious amounts of gin. Mrs. Eynsford-Hill suggests that perhaps it was the gin that killed her, but Eliza insists that she and her father both drank plenty of it. She speaks in a measured British accent, but she occasionally slips, and Higgins explains it away as new slang.

Freddy finds Eliza delightful, but she isn’t sure how to take his laughter and wonders if she has said something wrong. Mrs. Higgins reassures her that she hasn’t, but Higgins is gesturing frantically for Pickering to silence her. Pickering intervenes, suggesting that he take Eliza to go and place a bet, but Mrs. Higgins informs them that they are too late.

Freddy tells Eliza that he has a bet riding on a horse named Dover, and it would please him if she would take it. She expresses appreciation. The ensemble stands and sings emotionlessly again that the race is about to start again. Once again, they are silent for the race, only showing that they’re watching by moving their heads. However, Eliza, caught up in the moment, starts to cheer for Dover. She is quiet at first, but her enthusiasm grows until she shouts, “Come on, Dover!!!! Move your bloomin’ arse!!!!” (73) Several of the ladies present faint into their escorts’ arms, and everyone is shocked. Eliza contritely covers her mouth.

Outside on Wimpole Street, Freddy finds Higgins’s house. He buys a bouquet from a girl selling flowers and knocks on the door. He asks to see Eliza and hands Mrs. Pearce the bouquet to give her. He sings “On the Street Where You Live,” having fallen in love with Eliza and found her faux pas at Ascot to be charming. He expresses the joy he feels just being near her on her street.

Mrs. Pearce returns and apologizes, explaining, “Miss Doolittle says she doesn’t want to see anyone ever again,” and Freddy replies, “Why? She was magnificent!” (77). Incredulously, Mrs. Pearce questions whether he is at the correct address. Freddy tells her that he’ll simply wait until she’s ready because he’s happier just being on the street where she lives.

Six weeks have passed, and Higgins and Pickering are in Higgins’s office dressed in formal wear. Pickering is pacing anxiously, nervous because it’s the night of the Embassy Ball at Buckingham Palace. Since Eliza’s mishap at Ascot, Pickering has been trying to convince him to give up on his experiment, and now he’s worried about the exponential embarrassment if Eliza makes any similar gaffes at the ball.

At Higgins’s urging, Pickering drinks some port to calm down. They are waiting for Eliza to get dressed. Pickering suggests that Higgins drink some port as well, but he isn’t anxious. If Eliza makes a mistake, Higgins says, he loses his bet. Pickering accuses Higgins of not caring about Eliza as if she doesn’t matter to him. Higgins calls this absurd considering the amount of time and effort he’s poured into her. Higgins replies:

What could possibly matter more than to take a human being and change her into a different human being by creating a new speech for her? Why, it’s filling up the deepest gulf that separates class from class, and soul from soul. She matters immensely (80).

Eliza then enters, and she looks stunning in her gown. As they get ready to go, Higgins surreptitiously pours and gulps down a glass of port. They leave.

At the ball, the entire ensemble is dressed to the nines. A footman announces each person as they come in. Pickering enters and is pleased to find Mrs. Higgins. He greets her and tells her that Eliza has already won over the Ambassador’s wife. Mrs. Higgins comments that she has heard multiple people ask about her. Pickering wonders if Mrs. Higgins thinks Eliza will manage to uphold the ruse all night, and Mrs. Higgins replies, “Oh, I hope so! I’ve grown terribly fond of that girl” (83).

Higgins enters after the footman announces him, and he is immediately accosted by Zoltan Karpathy, whom Higgins doesn’t recognize but who introduces himself as Higgins’s former student and his “first, best and greatest pupil” (84). Karpathy confides that he is excellent at listening to people’s speech and detecting imposters who are posing as nobility—a skill that he claims the Queen of Transylvania finds invaluable.

To prove his point, he identifies a gentleman who serves as the Greek ambassador and claims that he doesn’t speak English because he is the son of a commoner from Yorkshire and his embarrassing accent would give him away. Karpathy keeps his secret, but only for a hefty bribe. Karpathy badly wants to meet the girl Higgins has brought, since she has been turning so many heads. After Karpathy walks away, Pickering and Mrs. Higgins worry that they ought to leave rather than risk Karpathy exposing Eliza. Higgins is determined to stay. Eliza enters, announced by the footman. Karpathy repeats his desire to meet her, but conversation is interrupted as the queen enters and everyone bows. When she sees Eliza, she is taken by her beauty. The queen touches Eliza’s face and murmurs, “Charming. Charming” (85). As a waltz begins, Karpathy advances toward Eliza, but Higgins intercepts and dances with Eliza instead.

The ensemble has joined the waltz, and Eliza and Higgins weave in and out of view as they dance. When everyone starts to switch partners, Karpathy begins to move in on Eliza. As the waltz reaches a climax, Karpathy reaches Eliza, and they dance. Anxious, Pickering enters and finds Higgins, but Higgins doesn’t seem worried. The curtain drops.