My Bloody Life: The Making of a Latin King

Sanchez recounts the unconventional way that his life began: In 1963, his mother gave birth to him in a car. Sanchez’s father was a 74-year-old widower who married Sanchez’s mother when she was just 16. This unusual age gap set the stage for complicated familial relationships. His father’s older children, some of whom were the same age as Sanchez’s mother, resented the union, creating lasting divisions within the family. Sanchez’s father died when Sanchez was five years old.

His mother quickly remarried. This new marriage introduced a period of severe hardship and abuse for Sanchez. His mother left him and his siblings in the care of her sister while she went on a honeymoon with her new husband. This decision proved catastrophic for Sanchez, as his aunt’s household turned into a place of torment.

Until then, Sanchez had known only the tranquility of his village, which was nestled in central Puerto Rico. This was a huge contrast to the violence he experienced in his aunt’s house. His cousins, particularly the older ones, subjected Sanchez and his siblings to brutal physical abuse. His cousin Alberto orchestrated most of the torment and often incited his younger brothers to join in the violence. 

Alberto’s actions even escalated to sexual abuse. When Sanchez was five years old, Alberto lured him into the family’s empty house with the promise of a slingshot. Then, Alberto sexually assaulted him and threatened to murder him if he spoke out. The abuse left Sanchez numb and trapped in a state of shock and fear. He recalls neither crying nor expressing anger; instead, his body and mind shut down in response to the trauma. He says that this incident became a turning point in his life, eclipsing other memories of his time in Puerto Rico.

Sanchez’s family moved to Chicago with his stepfather Emilio. Initially, life in the city felt exhilarating and filled with opportunity. Sanchez marveled at the vibrant urban environment, which stood in contrast to the rural simplicity of Puerto Rico. However, Emilio became abusive, treating Sanchez and his siblings cruelly. After Emilio and Sanchez’s mother had another daughter, Emilio favored his own child and treated the others abusively.

The family’s struggles intensified when Emilio lost his job and later vanished without explanation. Sanchez’s mother, left alone with four children, quickly sought financial security through a new relationship with Pedro, a rough lottery dealer. The family moved to Chicago’s North Side, where they encountered Pedro’s drug-dealing son, Hector, and his circle of friends who used and were addicted to drugs.

Sanchez recounts how he adapted to life in Humboldt Park, which was a racially mixed area in Chicago. He quickly made friends with Jorge, Noel, and Julio, who introduced him to local culture and taught him English. The boys bonded over shared experiences, playing baseball and hanging out at the neighborhood’s game room, which was called Carmen’s. 

However, racial tensions were looming. Sanchez encountered hostility from white youths and witnessed the unjust treatment of Puerto Ricans by local authorities, which fostered his distrust of white people. Sanchez then became fascinated by the Latin Disciples, a neighborhood gang. He was mostly intrigued by their power and unity.

Meanwhile, his stepfather Pedro, who initially took good care of the family, started to change after the birth of his own son. The atmosphere at home started to shift, and Pedro became controlling and abusive toward Sanchez.

Sanchez recounts the tension between his love for school and the torment he faced at home. As summer began, Pedro restricted his activities, forcing him onto a Little League baseball team, away from his friends who played baseball in the neighborhood’s park. Despite his love for baseball, Sanchez felt isolated. School became his refuge, but his plans to reunite with friends at his old school were crushed when he was reassigned to another school, the Tuley Educational Complex, which was closer to his home.

At home, Pedro’s abuse escalated, culminating in a severe beating when Pedro saw Sanchez writing his math homework and, being illiterate, believed that he was doing something illegal. Instead of defending him, his mother joined in the violence. Sanchez’s hatred for both grew, and he felt abandoned and trapped. Soon after, his mother announced that she was pregnant again and that the family was going to move back to Puerto Rico.

Sanchez also recalls how he made a new friend, Papo, at the Tuley school. Papo had a reputation as a bully and was well-connected in the local gang scene. He introduced Sanchez to his gang, which was called the Spanish Lords, and eventually invited him to join their parties. Despite his tough demeanor, Papo reacted emotionally after witnessing the abuse that Sanchez suffered at home.

Sanchez recounts the pivotal day that marked his entrance into gang culture and substance use. Avoiding school to hide the marks of abuse from his stepfather and mother, he followed Papo to the Spanish Lords’ clubhouse. Inside, he was introduced to gang members, their drug-dealing operations, and their hedonistic lifestyle, filled with smoking, drinking, and casual sex. Despite his initial nervousness, Sanchez joined in smoking marijuana and drinking beer, seeking belonging and escape from his oppressive home life. The intoxicants temporarily numbed his pain and provided a sense of freedom.

Sanchez returned home intoxicated and confronted his violent stepfather. The dysfunctional family dynamic escalated even further when Pedro pulled a gun on him. While Sanchez’s mother initially seemed to defend him, she ended up beating him. Sanchez, hiding under the bed to escape the beatings, experienced profound betrayal and further isolation. Determined to reclaim control, he later stole Pedro’s gun, sold it with Papo, and used the money to buy drugs and alcohol. Marijuana became Sanchez’s refuge, allowing him to retreat into vivid fantasies of revenge and happiness.

Sanchez recounts how he became increasingly entangled with gangs and violence. During the summer, he balanced his love for baseball with his new habits of smoking marijuana and drinking. Meanwhile, he made a new friend—Victor, nicknamed Flaco. Flaco’s family issues differed from Sanchez’s. Mostly, Flaco had a conflict with his openly bisexual sister, Millie, who was too sexually active for Flaco’s liking. Flaco was sexually conservative and got into fistfights with his sister to protect the family’s image.

Furthermore, tensions in the neighborhood escalated when the Spanish Cobras, a rival gang, began asserting themselves in the Spanish Lords’ territory. A violent confrontation between the two gangs led to a deadly shootout that introduced Sanchez to the reality of gang life. Thus, although he initially viewed gangs as a means of gaining acceptance, this conflict exposed him to the dangerous consequences of this lifestyle.

Sanchez also recounts how Halloween traditions that year turned sour when the Spanish Lords accidentally shot Afro, a member of a gang called the Western Boys, mistaking him for a rival Cobra. The tragedy changed the neighborhood’s gang dynamic, creating more tension between the different gangs. As Sanchez transitioned into high school, he found solace in new friendships and a budding relationship with Jenny, the sister of Afro’s girlfriend, whom Sanchez met on the day that Afro was shot. Despite Sanchez’s concerns about Jenny’s protective brother, nicknamed Lil Man, and her popularity with older boys, their bond strengthened through their conversations and growing physical intimacy.

Sanchez recounts the beginning of his active sexual life, along with his deepening connection to gang life. When he was 13, he ventured into the territory of another gang, called the Unknowns, looking for sexual encounters with older girls. He met Maria, an older woman who seduced him and led him through his first sexual encounter. Maria realized that Sanchez had never had sex, and she taught him what she thought he should do to please a woman sexually. This sparked his fixation on sexual fantasies, and he wanted to impress Jenny, whom he genuinely cared about.

Simultaneously, tensions with his family escalated as his mother and Pedro finalized plans to move to Puerto Rico. Sanchez resisted the idea, fearing increased abuse from Pedro and the loss of his budding independence. Rican, a Spanish Lords member, offered him shelter in their clubhouse, further cementing his connection to the gang. Sanchez describes this promise of belonging offered by the gang as contrasting with his turbulent home life, where violence and neglect dominated.

As the family’s departure neared, Sanchez struggled with fear and uncertainty about leaving Chicago. His desire to stay, especially given his romantic hopes with Jenny and his camaraderie within the Lords, was set against the reality of his youth. Ultimately, he succumbed to the inevitability of the move to Puerto Rico.

Back in Puerto Rico, Sanchez’s stepfather Pedro asserted his control over him through threats and a machete, creating a hostile environment. Struggling with isolation, Sanchez retreated into a fantasy world, finding solace in climbing trees and imagining better scenarios. Meanwhile, his sisters were thriving socially, which further deepened his loneliness. Since Sanchez and Pedro clashed frequently, Sanchez’s mother blamed Sanchez for her troubles and decided to send him back to Chicago. Although he was hurt by his mother’s attitude, the decision brought him relief.

Sanchez arrived in Chicago and entered a grim, chaotic world at Hector’s house, surrounded by people addicted to heroin. Hector was his stepbrother—Pedro’s biological son. Sanchez quickly became proficient at preparing heroin injections and started trading his skills for marijuana or cash. One person, Gina, stood out due to her cleanliness and allure, despite her lifestyle. 

Sanchez also frequented the clubhouse of the Latin Lords, where Rican persistently tried to recruit him into their gang. At Rican’s home, Sanchez met Marilyn, Rican’s articulate and refined girlfriend, whose presence sparked his fantasies. Overwhelmed by conflicting desires and memories, he decided to seek out Jenny.

Sanchez describes his first sexual experience with Jenny. Heading to Jenny’s house with purely sexual intentions, he ran into her brother, Lil Man, who involved him in a violent gang retaliation by giving him a shotgun and telling him to wait on stand-by. Sanchez then witnessed a drive-by shooting orchestrated by the Latin Kings gang against a white-supremacist gang called the Gaylords. The experience left him feeling complicit and ambivalent about being involved in a murder.

Afterward, Jenny expressed pride in his actions, and they engaged in an awkward sexual encounter. Jenny, who had never had sex, struggled through the experience, leaving Sanchez confused and disillusioned about intimacy. Despite his bravado and Maria’s earlier teachings, he realized that he was still immature. The night left him grappling with the emotional and physical complexities of sex and violence.

Sanchez was ridiculed by the Lords for his association with Maria. Then, he was confronted by a gang member nicknamed Snake, which led to a heated physical altercation. Sanchez overpowered Snake, gaining reluctant respect from the gang members but also intensifying animosity. The confrontation was a manifestation of Sanchez’s growing inner rage and need to assert himself.

Later, Sanchez was entrusted with the gang sweater of another gang member nicknamed Crazy One. The sweater was a symbol of the Spanish Lords’ loyalty. However, the sweater got stolen during a run-in with rival Chi-West members. This misstep put Sanchez in severe trouble with the Spanish Lords, as gang signs were considered sacred. Sanchez was tasked with retrieving the sweater—a high-stakes mission that confirmed his precarious position as a gang member.

Sanchez avoided the Spanish Lords after losing the gang sweater. However, he spent more time with Jenny, indulging in a deepening sexual relationship that distracted him from his chaotic life. He also harbored fantasies about older women, developing a sense of escapism.

The gang’s demands on Sanchez escalated when Joker, a fellow Spanish Lords member, was killed in a barbershop ambush, further intensifying the gang’s thirst for revenge. Afterward, Sanchez was coerced into participating in a mission to recover the stolen sweater or kill a Chi-West member. Terrified and unprepared, he hesitated during the confrontation with the Chi-West gang, which led Mouse, a fellow Lords member, to take over and escalate the violence. Mouse killed a girl during the attack, and Sanchez was traumatized by the encounter.

As they fled the crime scene, Morena, a hardened gang affiliate, pulled Sanchez away and offered guidance on surviving street life. Her advice, rooted in ruthlessness and detachment, challenged Sanchez’s moral compass. Morena emphasized that to survive, he had to take on a leadership role and be dispassionate about violence and death. Morena recounted her backstory, which involved sexual assault by her stepfather and her mother’s betrayal; she also witnessed the death of her boyfriend as a result of gang violence.

Sanchez went on to face the aftermath of the violent confrontation with the Chi-West. Fleeing the scene, he and Morena posed as an innocent couple to avoid detection and afterward successfully returned to their neighborhood. Seeking refuge, he hid at Maria’s apartment, where he confided in her about the shooting. While Maria offered comfort and shelter, her daughters, Myra and Lucy, began to treat him with disdain, mocking him for his cowardice.

Later, the Spanish Lords rejected him, leaving him isolated and humiliated. Even his romantic relationship with Jenny became strained when she expressed disappointment in his inability to act violently during the gang conflict. Although their physical relationship continued, she constantly echoed the expectations of aggression and toughness in Sanchez’s environment.

When Sanchez encountered Morena again, she informed him about the fallout from the attack, including arrests and betrayals. The information deepened his sense of alienation. Despite his attempts to find solace, he remained trapped between the demands of gang loyalty, societal pressures, and his own moral conflicts. He reluctantly headed back to Hector’s house, driven by fear and uncertainty about his future in the gang-dominated streets.