The Mother-in-Law

“If you ask me, everyone is a little too interested in their children’s happiness. Ask anyone what they wish for their kids and they’ll all say they want them to be happy. Happy! Not strong in the face of adversity or grateful in the face of misfortune. I, on the other hand, have always wanted hardship for my kids. Real, honest hardship. Challenges big enough to make them empathetic and wise.”

Diana relates her philosophy on parenting. Unlike most parents, Diana prioritizes instilling perseverance within her children rather than ensuring their complete happiness. Resolute, Diana carries her philosophy into Ollie and Nettie’s adulthood as she refuses to support them financially. Her choices ultimately lead to her death.

“The problem is it’s so easy for a mother-in-law to get it wrong. It seems there is an endless list of unwritten rules. Be involved but not overbearing. Be supportive but don’t overstep. Help with the grandkids, but don’t take over. Offer wisdom but never advice. Obviously, I haven’t mastered this list. The sheer weight of the requirements makes it intimidating even to try. The most frustrating part is that it’s nearly impossible for a father-in-law to mess it up. He has to be welcoming. That’s it.”

Diana comments on the difficulties of being a mother-in-law who is expected to follow an implicit set of social guidelines. Self-aware, she understands her faults as a mother-in-law and points out the double standards for her and her husband. Through shifting narrative points of view, Hepworth paints a full picture of the complex relationship between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and examines the added burdens of expected social behavior placed on women.

“I may not have been the most maternal of girls, but I’d always been a believer in taking responsibility for your actions.”

Diana shares the story of her unexpected pregnancy with Ollie at the age of 20. Diana’s choice to keep Ollie rather than give him up for adoption changes the trajectory of her life and sets the context of the novel. Here, Diana acknowledges her lack of maternal instinct and reinforces her belief in the power of taking responsibility for one’s actions. These two factors set the novel's events in place and create the core conflicts of the novel as Diana navigates life as a mother and mother-in-law.

“Some people jumped in and tried to save someone who was in trouble; others did anything they could to save themselves. Ollie hadn’t meant to drown Nettie, he was simply following his instincts, just as she was following hers.”

Reflecting on Ollie and Nettie as children, Diana describes a moment of conflict between them when Nettie attempts to save Ollie from drowning. When Ollie attacks Nettie after being surprised by her in the pool, Diana recognizes Ollie’s instinctual drive to survive. In contrast, Diana sees Nettie’s sacrificial spirit that disregards her own well-being for the sake of others. Diana’s assessment of her children serves as a foreshadowing of Ollie and Nettie’s future actions and highlights the themes of survival and instinct.

“She is a no-nonsense kind of mother and grandmother, the kind that thinks breastfeeding and back-to-sleep and seat belts are all nonsense because her kids didn’t have them and it never did them any harm. At least I think she is that kind of mother, but I don’t know because she rarely bestows me with any actual advice or opinions. This should be a good thing, but instead it just leaves me with a general feeling of getting it wrong without any idea of how to do better.”

Describing Diana as a grandmother, Lucy comments on the lack of connection between her and Diana. She portrays Diana as a judgmental figure who eschews modern motherhood. The lack of communication between Lucy and Diana leads to years of conflict that blinds them from seeing how similar they are. Throughout the novel, Lucy operates out of a desire to connect with Diana as a maternal figure, which she achieves shortly before Diana’s death.

“She smiles, the image of the doting wife, but I see in her eyes that she is worried. And while I know I should be grateful that she is so supportive of my son, all I want to do is grab her by the shoulders and give her a good shake.”

After Ollie announces his new business venture with Eamon, Diana describes Lucy as the epitome of a traditional doting wife who supports her husband blindly. Frustrated by Lucy’s lack of independence, Diana imagines shaking Lucy to awaken her to the dangers of relying on Ollie completely. Lucy’s support for Ollie and Diana’s disdain for it creates a rift between the two women throughout most of the novel. It is only after Tom’s death that Diana learns the significance of support systems to make life worth living, which leads to Diana and Lucy’s full reconciliation.

“I know that I should look at Lucy and see the similarities between us. We are both mothers, we have a mutual love for my son. We are also both motherless, although my mother stepped away by choice where hers was taken from her, kicking and screaming no doubt. I know all this. But for some reason, despite our similarities, when I look at her, all I see are our differences.”

Diana comments on her turbulent relationship with Lucy. While Diana acknowledges their similarities, she admits to only focusing on their differences. This inability to connect and judgment of one another forges the major conflict of the novel. Throughout the novel, Lucy and Diana’s relationship undergoes the greatest change, which exemplifies Hepworth’s theme of the power of support.

“Daughters-in-law know their mothers-in-law are lying, but it doesn’t matter a jot, because how does one prove something isn’t true? More importantly, how does one prove something isn’t true while trying to be polite to their mother-in-law? It is as impossible as breastfeeding an infant while unloading the groceries, vacuuming the floor and paying the bills. And so, mothers-in-law get to say whatever outlandish statements they like about motherhood. Mothers-in-law win, every time.”

Exasperated at her conflict with Diana, Lucy remarks on the complex relationship between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law. She alludes to the social standards of civility placed on women that reinforce these commonly antagonistic relationships. Lucy views the relationship between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law as a struggle for power. Only when she shifts her perspective to see her and Diana’s relationship as a collaboration does their conflict cease.

“It occurs to me that only a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can have an all-out war without anyone so much as raising their voice. The funny thing is, if any of the menfolk were here, they wouldn’t have a clue that anything other than a pleasant conversation was going on. If Ollie were here, he’d probably comment on ‘what a nice afternoon that was with Mum.’ In that way, menfolk are really quite simple, bless them.”

Lucy discusses the ways women communicate secretly with one another to express their often-turbulent feelings toward one another. Noting the ignorance of men to these subtleties, Lucy comments on the added complexities of relationships between women. Hepworth highlights these two sub-texts throughout the novel as she explores the dynamic relationship between Lucy and Diana.

“I swivel in my chair and look from Patrick to Nettie to Ollie. Their faces are etched with hurt and bewilderment. But there’s something else in their faces too, something ugly. So ugly, in fact, that I have to swivel my chair back again.”

At the reading of Diana’s will, Lucy describes the looks on the faces of Patrick, Nettie, and Ollie. As an outsider to the world of privilege Patrick, Nettie, and Ollie were raised in, Lucy recognizes greed in their faces when Diana’s lawyer announces that they have been disinherited. Lucy’s refusal to center money in her life draws she and Diana closer as they bond over their shared values of self-reliance and love.

“The fact is, sometimes, being a mother is impossible. From the time your children are little, you’re thinking not only about whether you should let them have chocolate for breakfast juuuuust this once, you’re also wondering if it will rot their teeth, set them up for a lifetime of bad habits, and contribute to the childhood obesity epidemic. When they’re adults, it’s worse. I worry about Nettie not being able to get pregnant, I also worry that she might have a baby with a man that is a philanderer. I worry about Ollie’s business going under. I worry about my children expecting their parents to provide for them when they are adults.”

Diana offers a candid look into the raw complexities of motherhood. She describes the anxiety and pressures placed on mothers to abide by a set of social standards that hold them responsible for raising well-adjusted children. Hepworth emphasizes this anxiety through the repetition of “I worry.” Through her portrayal of Diana, Hepworth portrays how a mother’s work is never done and continues into adulthood.

“It’s funny, what the younger generation assumes we don’t know. They assume we couldn’t possibly understand the agony of heartbreak, or the pressure of buying a house. We couldn’t understand infertility or depression or the fight for equality. If we have experienced any of these things, they were milder, softer versions, played out in sepia, not experiences that could compare to theirs.”

After the fight at Christmas, Nettie and Diana reconcile. Nettie confides in her mother about her miscarriages and complains that her mother does not understand her struggles. Diana remarks on this conflict between generations that renders the younger generation unable to recognize the similar experiences faced by those in the older generation. This inability to connect over their shared experiences of the human condition separates the generations and leads to conflict, such as Nettie’s murder of her mother.

“Being poor and having to survive without my parents was the single most defining thing I’ve ever done. It showed me what I was capable of. As a mother, I think this is the most important gift you can give to your children. Unlike money, it can’t be taken away or lost.”

After sharing the story of her past with Ghezala, Diana states that her parents’ abandonment of her gifted her with the most life-changing experience of her life as she was forced to build self-reliance. To Ghezala, Diana reiterates her decision not to cater to the financial demands of her children and to force them to develop their own independence. Diana’s intransigence on this topic damages her relationship with Nettie and leads to dire consequences.

“In the back of my thoughts it occurs to me that Ollie is the fruit of my womb, yet at some point he’s become almost insignificant. He and Tom and Patrick are the cogs and spokes, but Lucy and Nettie and I, we are the wheels.”

Lucy confronts Diana in the hospital following Harriet’s accident at Tom and Diana’s home. As Lucy yells at her, Diana reflects on the significant roles the women of their family play in the family dynamics. Hepworth uses the symbol of a machine to visualize the role the men and the women play. She refers to the men as “cogs and spokes,” which help form the machine. The women she refers to as “the wheels” are the center of the machine’s functioning. Like wheels, the women in their family and this novel propel the novel forward and determine the family’s fate.

“Usually I don’t care what other people think, but with our soon-to-be bankrupt status, I can’t help but wonder…What am I doing with myself? I’d been so determined to be a stay-at-home mum, so keen to do as my own mother did, that I’d never questioned it. Now, suddenly, I was questioning it.”

At Diana’s funeral, Lucy greets the mourners and repeatedly answers questions about what she does for work. She grows self-conscious of her status as a stay-at-home mother and begins to question the decisions she has made to abandon her career in support of Ollie and her children. Lucy alludes to a desire to follow in her mother’s footsteps as a motivation for her choice. Through Lucy’s relationship with Diana, she begins questioning the traditional roles of women she has adopted.

“I think about all my conversations with Jan and Liz and Kathy about daughters-in-law. We’d always focused on how different they are from us, how their mothering is different, their attitudes are different. We’ve never once focused on our similarities. As women. As wives. As mothers. It occurs to me suddenly that there are a lot more of them.”

The morning after Lucy pushes Diana in the hospital, Diana and Tom visit Harriet and silently watch Lucy comforting her. Diana reconsiders how she and her generational counterparts have judged their daughters-in-law by focusing on their differences rather than connecting through their similarities. This moment marks a shift in Diana and Lucy’s relationship as Diana grows to appreciate Lucy and recognize their similarities.

“It occurs to me that Nettie and I have this in common now. She is older than I was when Mum died, obviously, but I doubt there is a loss in the universe more profound than a daughter losing her mother.”

As the police question Ollie regarding Diana’s murder, Nettie and Lucy watch the children. When Nettie grows emotional, Lucy attempts to comfort her and contemplates their shared experiences of losing their mothers. Lucy assumes the cause of Nettie’s emotional release and slowly realizes she is wrong. Hepworth develops Nettie’s lack of empathy and isolation throughout the novel to underscore her loss of humanity, which drives her to murder her mother.

“It’s the truth. Ollie and Nettie would never help me. I’m their mother, which means in our relationship they will always be children, and will only see things from their own perspectives. They won’t want me to die, and that will be the end of that. But Lucy sees me differently. Like a mother-in-law, yes. But also as a woman.”

Determined to enact her plan to commit voluntary euthanasia, Diana begs Lucy to help her acquire Latuben, a drug used to aid euthanasia. Diana believes Lucy is the only one who can help her because, unlike Nettie and Ollie, Lucy sees Diana not as just a mother but as a woman. Lucy’s ability to recognize and understand Diana’s humanity drives her to help Diana and ultimately heal their fractured relationship.

“The thing about death is that it puts things into perspective. I know what I care about now. I care about my children and my grandchildren. I care about my charity continuing to operate. I care about people getting a fair go. And I care about Lucy.”

After Diana informs Lucy that she will abandon her plans to commit voluntary euthanasia, Diana ponders her newfound purpose in life. No longer stubbornly beholden to her commitment to independence, Diana hopes to live the rest of her life caring for those she loves. Previously cold, Diana now openly expresses her love for Lucy and her family. Through Lucy’s care and support, Diana learns that her relationships are all that matter in life.

“They say little boys love their mothers, and I think there is something to it. Little girls love their mothers, too, of course, but a little boy’s love for his mother is pure, untainted. Boys see their mothers in the most primal way, a protector, devotee, a disciple. Sons bask in their mothers’ love rather than questioning it or testing it.”

Before Ollie’s final visit with his mother, Diana speaks on the differences between a mother’s relationship with her son and daughter. Diana claims that a son’s love for his mother is unadulterated, while a daughter’s love is tainted by questions and tests. Hepworth builds suspense at this moment as the reader questions whether Ollie is Diana’s murderer and if Diana’s commentary is ironic. Ultimately, Hepworth emphasizes the complicated dynamics of the mother-daughter relationship that results in conflict and, in Diana’s case, murder.

“I could have written more, but in the end, there’s really only two pieces of wisdom worth leaving behind. I worked hard for everything I ever cared about. And nothing I ever cared about cost a single cent.”

Just before her death, Diana reads her suicide letter one last time. In it, she imparts two pieces of advice: to work hard for what you care about and to care about more than money and greed. Diana’s advice embodies her fully developed growth throughout the novel as she learns the significance of hard work and the importance of true, connected relationships. Lucy and Ollie take this advice to heart and frame Diana’s words as a reminder. Through her reconciliation with Lucy, Diana passes down her revised legacy.

“Sons see the best parts of you, but daughters really see you. They see your flaws and your weaknesses. They see everything they don’t want to be. They see you for exactly who you are…and they hate you for it.”

As Nettie suffocates Diana to death, she contemplates the differences between her visit with Ollie and Nettie. In this moment, Diana recognizes the impact of her distant relationship with Nettie, which has isolated her daughter and driven her to act out of hate. Despite its tragic outcome, this moment highlights the power of female relationships. Diana’s negative relationship with Nettie leads Nettie down a path of self-destruction and murder, while Diana’s renewed relationship with Lucy teaches them to love and accept each other’s flaws.

“We’re our children. Our grandchildren. Our great-grandchildren. We’re all the people who will go on to live, because we lived. We are our wisdom, our intellect, our beauty, filtered through generations, continuing to spill into the world and make a difference.”

As Nettie prepares to commit suicide, she ponders the meaning of life. For Nettie, her life’s purpose is to become a mother and to pass on a legacy to future generations. Hepworth contrasts Nettie’s words with the reality of her horrific actions. Nettie has corrupted Diana’s legacy of self-reliance and independent action by choosing to murder her mother in pursuit of motherhood. Hepworth illustrates the intricacies of motherhood and its unpredictable nature.