More Happy Than Not

Aaron brings some beer to Thomas’s house, and they talk about the fight the day before. Thomas says Aaron’s friends think he’s going to steal him away. They talk about celebrity crushes; Aaron chooses Emma Watson and Andrew Garfield. Thomas chooses Natalie Portman and, when pressed, says if he “had to go gay for someone” it would by Ryan Gosling (135). Aaron decides to teach Thomas how to fight. When Thomas says he’s had enough but Aaron faux-swings at him again, Thomas quickly and easily blocks it and pins Aaron to the ground. Aaron starts drawing a “tattoo” on Thomas with markers. He gathers the courage to tell Thomas how he feels about him, but when he leans in for a kiss, Thomas pushes him away and says he’s straight. It’s very awkward. Thomas says he can forget it and they can stay friends. Aaron flees for his own apartment even though it’s raining.

This chapter delivers Aaron’s mental and emotional state in the form of brief, time-stamped thoughts that begin at 12:22 a.m. and end at 5:58 a.m. Aaron tries to draw but can’t. He decides he can’t remember what he likes about Thomas because Thomas is a liar and not actually handsome; it was all an illusion to make Aaron feel better about his life. An hour and a half later, Aaron remembers the way Thomas makes him feel and worries that they’ll never talk again. Over three hours later, Aaron realizes that all of his closest friends are now alienated from him: Genevieve, Thomas, Brendan, and the guys. A commercial for Leteo comes on. Aaron goes to his mom’s room and steals her Leteo pamphlet.

Aaron wants to get the Leteo procedure. The desire was impulsive and desperate at first, but the more he researches, the more appealing it becomes. A number of people have had real trauma healed by it. The story that really convinces him is that of a middle-aged Russian man who received the procedure to forget his homosexuality. Aaron does not want to be himself anymore because it is too hard to be happy that way.

He has to get his mother’s permission to get the Leteo procedure, so he goes to her work to talk to her. He tells her that he wants the Leteo procedure, which she reacts strongly to. He comes out to her and says he needs “a reboot” (144). She protests tearfully, saying that it’s too impulsive and they should talk to the therapist Aaron hates instead. He storms out, angry and crying. Evangeline calls him very soon after the confrontation and agrees to accompany him to the institute. He goes ahead of her and waits in line. Once inside, he watches Leteo promotional videos play on a screen and reads the FAQ about the procedure. There are still 40 people ahead of him in line.

Evangeline finds him in the lobby, and they talk about why he wants the procedure. Someone waves to Evangeline from the other side of the room and she leaves to talk to them briefly. The clerk calls Aaron’s number and asks him the kind of questions you’d ask a new patient. Aaron is resistant and secretive, but they give him an appointment for a consultation. Afterward, Aaron sees Brendan in a store and they make up. Brendan invites him to a game of manhunt and assigns him the role of hunter. As he’s trying to find the others, Aaron sees Thomas, who says that he misses their friendship, that he knows Aaron didn’t mean it, and that they can forget about it and go back to normal. Aaron resists this, insisting that Thomas is also gay and in denial about it.

As Aaron returns to hunting, he is assaulted by Me-Crazy, Brendan, Skinny-Dave, and Nolan, who call him a “faggot” (154). Brendan says this is “for [Aaron’s] own good” (155). Brendan starts the fight, and Aaron tries to hold his own, but the others join in. Me-Crazy tackles him and starts to strangle him. The others kick and hit his chest. Then Me-Crazy picks Aaron up and throws him through the glass door of a building. The head injury is painful and traumatic, and Aaron begins to recall memories he’d forgotten.