More Happy Than Not

Rainy weather gives Genevieve an excuse to avoid Aaron for several days. The rain means that Aaron is trapped inside his apartment and can’t hang out with Thomas or play games with the guys in his neighborhood. His mother sends him on an errand to the post office, which he spends feeling sorry for and bad about himself. When he’s finished, he spots Evangeline on the bench outside, and they talk. He feels safe confiding in her, so he tells her that he’s missing his dad, that his girlfriend thinks she’s losing him, and that he thinks he’s losing himself too. When he gets home, Aaron immediately calls Genevieve. She doesn’t answer.

It’s been a week since Thomas’s birthday, and Genevieve still hasn’t spoken to Aaron. Some of the guys come by after a fight and explain that Me-Crazy fought a bunch of kids from Thomas’s neighborhood after one of them blew a kiss at him. Aaron thinks about how violently Me-Crazy responds to any kind of “gay” stuff and knows that if he doesn’t choose Genevieve, he’ll probably be beaten by him.

Genevieve agrees to let Aaron come to a flea market with her. He resolves to prove that she’s the most important thing to him, but he finds himself thinking about buying gifts for Thomas as they browse the stands. Genevieve offers to buy him a new notebook, but he declines, thinking that she doesn’t really understand the difference between want and need the way he does.

Later that night, Thomas shows up at Aaron’s apartment and invites him over. They haven’t seen each other for eight days. Aaron agrees and feels as though his brother is watching him knowingly as he leaves. They run into Brendan dealing drugs as they leave, stop and buy snacks, and spend the walk talking about Thomas’s new thoughts on his future. He says he’s not sure he wants to be a film director after all, since the motivation or creativity to produce stories doesn’t come to him. They talk about Genevieve, and Aaron admits that they probably won’t be dating for much longer. Aaron says he has something he wants to tell Thomas but is afraid to do so; Thomas patiently coaxes it out of him until Aaron says that he might like guys. Thomas is accepting and supportive, and says it makes no difference to him. They come up with a code word because Aaron isn’t comfortable saying “gay” yet: dude-liker.

Aaron wonders what Thomas would say if asked if he was also a dude-liker but doesn’t have the courage to bring it up. He is so certain Thomas is gay that he thinks if Thomas were to say no, Aaron would know that he was capable of lying.

Aaron goes to Genevieve’s apartment on the day they’re supposed to go to the flea market. It’s raining, so they stay in her bedroom. Genevieve tries to kiss him and play the Remember When game, but Aaron is awkward and stilted. He plays along by committing to the game and bringing up things they’ve done together. She kisses him and he lets her, then holds onto her tightly. He says he’s not the guy they’re remembering anymore. Genevieve asks, “Are you…? You are. Aren’t you?” (130). Aaron thinks she must be asking if he’s breaking up with her, but he wonders if she’s asking if he’s a dude-liker. He says yes. She withdraws and asks if it’s because of “him” (131). Aaron feigns confusion, but she tells him to leave.