Momentous Events in the Life of a Cactus

Costumes are a motif that informs the theme Believing in Yourself. Aven learns that literal costumes, like the ones people wear at Comic Con, do not so much conceal identity, as they help express peoples’ inner personality. For example, Mrs. Hill dresses as comic book characters that represent her as a strong, Black female. Aven struggles to find the perfect costume for Comic Con because she wants the “exact correct balance of fearsome and awesome” which is how she feels about herself before Joshua humiliates her (38). Lando sees Aven’s inner courage and beauty even when Aven cannot see it: He draws her as a new superhero, the Great Green Defender of Nerds, who is not limited by what other people think of her. Costumes bring out inner courage: When Aven attends Comic Con, her costume lets her inner strength emerge. Costumes are leveling and remove differences, as seen when Connor’s costume as Lucky the Pizza Dog makes his Tourette’s tic of barking seem expected, instead of differing.

At the punk rock concert, Aven notices that it feels like the concertgoers are in costume then realizes, “But they weren’t wearing costumes at all. And the people at Comic Con weren’t wearing costumes. Lando as Captain America […] that was the real Lando. Lando at school was the Lando in costume” (272). Trilby, “never wore a costume” because she believes fully in herself and does not need a costume to express her inner self (272). Costumes help characters express what is on the inside, and their beliefs in themselves.

Aven’s awareness of aging and its self-limitations is a motif that informs the theme of Believing in Yourself. Aven is sensitive to the cycle of life and she knows that she and her friends have a lifetime of new experiences ahead of them, but Aven also notices that older people and animal friends around her are nearing the end of their lives. Aven is fortunate to have older adults like Josephine and Henry as strong supportive friends, but she worries about their isolation and mental decline, respectively, and feels they are not living life to the fullest. Aven also wonders whether growing up means sacrificing things you love, as when she asks why Trilby’s dad stopped playing in the band.

Aven believes in the vitality of spirit in the older people around her. Aven shakes older characters out of their comfort zones and makes them realize time is fleeting. Aven encourages Josephine to befriend Milford and choose connection over loneliness. Aven helps Henry connect with his lost family. Aven even gets her parents to attend a punk concert, saying that “Today is the youngest you’ll ever be for the rest of your life. Do it while you can” (267). Aven believes the punk lyric, “One day you’ll find / You can be old in your body / But not in your mind” (39).

The loss of Spaghetti and Henry’s stroke bring home the message that everyone has limited time to find and embrace their true selves and enjoy life. This concept is supported by lyrics from Aven’s band which advise, “Let’s live like we mean it” (265). Aven sees that the cycle of life continues: Fathead the tarantula molts and starts a new chapter of her life, like Aven. Lasagna the baby llama also helps Aven start afresh. Though she loves and misses Spaghetti, life moves on, and so does Aven, determined to live life with confidence and enthusiasm.

Aven’s traumatic almost-first kiss represents Aven’s descent into self-doubt, while her true first kiss represents both trust and self-confidence, informing the theme of Believing in Yourself.

New to the nuances of high school and to relationships beyond friendships, Aven is confused whether a first kiss should happen with someone she barely knows, and so quickly in a relationship. She wonders, “Was this how it worked in high school? ‘Hi. My name’s Bob. Nice to meet you. Let’s kiss’” (91). Aven hears faint mental warning bells when she is uncertain if she even wants Joshua to be her first kiss, or if she wants to experience it in such a casual, public place, but she trusts Joshua, who has only been nice to her, and Aven wants to be liked. Joshua’s cruel trick destroys Aven’s self-esteem and her trust in others. She vows “Never to be duped again” and has trouble believing that Lando truly cares about her (112). When Aven once again believes in herself, she can trust others and accept her true first kiss from Lando, saying, “Because this was nothing like that time. And Lando was nothing like that boy. And I was already stronger than that girl” (277). Aven’s first kiss shows that her confidence in herself and others is restored.