Mick Harte Was Here

These chapters further explore Guilt Over the Death of a Loved One. Phoebe feels less entitled to enjoy life now that Mick is no longer alive to enjoy it with her: “I still feel guilty when I’m having too good a time” (83). Furthermore, Phoebe struggles to reconcile the fact that she will experience joy and happiness in tandem with immense grief over Mick’s death. It is difficult for her to internalize the idea that enjoying parts of her life does not mean that she is indifferent about Mick’s absence.

Phoebe also struggles with what she sees as her role in her brother’s death: “I’m just now starting to deal with how Mick asked me to ride his bike home that day” (83). She admits this to her father, who reveals that he is living with his own guilt—“all at once, he heaved this god-awful sigh and whispered, ‘If only I had made him wear his helmet’” (85). Phoebe’s father’s distress is evident in his whispered admission.

These chapters also explore Learning to Live With Loss. Phoebe, echoing Zoe’s words of comfort, explains to her mother that Mick has not been lost to them: “‘If you’re everywhere, then how can you be lost?’ Mom’s face softened a little” (71). The impact of Phoebe’s words are evident in Mrs. Harte’s “softened” expression; she is moved by Phoebe’s revelation and finds comfort in it, as Phoebe did.

Previously, Phoebe had felt disconnected from her mother’s experience of grief, and they had been unable to support each other. By thinking of Mick as still with them in some sense, they are brought closer together in their grieving process and can better bear Mick’s loss. This is reflected in Mrs. Harte’s choice to come into Mick’s room, something she had been unable to do previously. In Mick’s bedroom, mother and daughter exchange stories about Mick’s annoying and hilarious tendencies: “‘He called me a Wascally Wabbit,’ she [Phoebe’s mother] managed. But as soon as she said it she started to laugh. We both did” (72). Their laughter signifies their joyous commemoration of Mick alongside their grief.

Phoebe also copes with her immense loss by speaking out about bicycle safety. Her voice breaks during the assembly, revealing how emotional and difficult it is for her to speak about Mick’s death. However, she selflessly does so to help prevent future loss of life: “‘This was my brother’s bike helmet,’ I said. My voice broke, but somehow I forced myself to finish. ‘He said it made him look like a dork’” (81). The idea of preventing another tragedy like Mick’s brings Phoebe a measure of comfort and purpose.

The novel has a circular or envelope pattern, in which the ending echoes the beginning. In a call back to Mick writing “fart” in concrete in Chapter 1, Phoebe writes “MICK HARTE WAS HERE” in the setting concrete near their school (88). She does this after reflecting on happy memories with Mick—“there were lots of good memories of Mick at that field too. Living so close to school, we used to go down there all the time” (86). Initially, Phoebe can only think of Mick in connection to the tragedy of his death. As she learns to live with his loss, she celebrates his memory and commemorates him in a way which feels appropriate to their shared history.

Phoebe is often upset by sympathetic comments, as she is distressed and emotionally volatile in the weeks immediately after Mick’s death. When her principal, Mrs. Berryhill, tells Phoebe that “in time [she] would learn to accept [her] loss and go on,” Phoebe angrily retorts: “I didn’t just misplace him or leave him behind on a bus somewhere. He died, okay? Mick died. But he will never—ever—be lost” (67). Phoebe’s anger at her principal’s well-intentioned comment illustrates the rawness of her grief.

Park suggests that it can be difficult to say the right thing to a person struggling with a devastating loss. Phoebe’s reaction echoes the coping strategy that Phoebe developed with Zoe; she misses Mick desperately and finds a measure of comfort in conceptualizing him all around her, rather than thinking of him as being gone. This connects to the novel’s theme, Learning to Live With Loss.