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77 pages 2 hours read

Stephanie Land

Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother’s Will to Survive

Nonfiction | Autobiography / Memoir | Adult | Published in 2019

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Themes

The Psychological Costs of Poverty

Throughout Maid, Land examines the social stigma surrounding poverty and the subsequent psychological effects relating to this stigma. As a recipient of seven different kinds of government aid, she is obligated to maintain and submit detailed records of her finances and to balance appointments with several different social services offices. In transitional housing, she must undergo tedious and patronizing life skills training courses that presume poor people are unintelligent and ignorant, and don’t understand how to perform basic tasks such as laundry and cleaning. She must also frequently submit to random drug screenings (like ex-convicts in halfway homes). Land reflects that these forms of screening and behavioral regulations—and the distrust driving them—make her feel like a criminal. She writes, “Being poor, living in poverty seemed a lot like probation—the crime being a lack of means to survive” (8).

As a low-wage house cleaner, Land directly experiences this stigma in several ways. When cleaning the homes of clients, Land seldom has any face-to-face interaction and feels “invisible.” In addition to feeling socially isolated, Land struggles with the physical pain of her labor. The intense floor and surface scrubbing she performs results in back pain that she is financially unable to treat. The long hours without conversation bolster loneliness. She feels degraded by her work, knowing most of her clients prefer not to imagine a human being is cleaning their dirty kitchens, bedrooms, and bathrooms. They treat her as a “ghost,” so they won’t have to confront their own uncomfortable accumulations of grit, dirt, and grime.

Land also has several encounters that reveal how ignorant privileged people are of working poor struggles. She cites the particularly poignant example of an impatient man waiting behind her in line at the grocery store while the cashier fails to ring up a gallon of organic milk on her food stamps. The man angrily tells her, “You’re welcome,” insinuating she is both lazy and lucky his taxes “pay” for her food. Just as Land’s clients fail to see her invisible labor, this man is ignorant of the complications with which she deals just to survive on food stamps:

He didn’t know I had to take an afternoon off for the WIC appointment, missing $40 in wages, where they had to weigh both Mia and me. […] what he saw was that those coupons were paid for by government money, the money he’d personally contributed to the taxes he’d paid. To him, he might as well have personally bought the fancy milk I insisted on, but I was obviously poor so I didn’t deserve it (154).

As several of Land’s encounters in Maid illustrate, many privileged people also blame poor workers for their lives in poverty. When Land takes her daughter to the doctor for health complications related to the black mold in their apartment, the doctor judgmentally orders her to “do better” as a mother, insinuating her carelessness and negligence caused her daughter’s illness. Judgmental comments such as this make Land feel guilty, inadequate, and hopeless for the future.

Because Land must manage several complex financial tasks in order to survive—from balancing her budget to tracking government appointments to negotiating her constantly shifting work schedule—she finds herself almost incapable of thinking about the future. She explains:

I was not accustomed to looking past the month, week, or sometimes hour. I compartmentalized my life the same way I cleaned every room of every house—left to right, top to bottom. Whether on paper or in my mind, the problems I had to deal with first—the car repair, the court date, the empty cupboards—went to the top, on the left. The next pressing issue went next to it, on the right. […] “Five years from now” never made it to the top corner (241-42).

Examples such as this expose how difficult it is for poor people to move beyond poverty. They must not only overcome physical, practical, and financial obstacles, but cycles of perception preventing them from imagining an alternative future.

The Linked Traumas of Poverty and Abuse

In Maid, Land’s experiences of trauma in romantic relationships and the traumas of poverty are closely linked. The trepidation she feels living with her abusive partner Jamie—like waiting on edge for his temper to explode and trying (often in vain) not to set him off—is comparable to the anxiety she feels from her limited financial means. She explains:

Most of my life [consisted of] tiptoeing uneasily on a floor, both real and metaphorical, becoming hesitant to trust the surface at all. Every time I built back a foundation, walls, floor, or even a roof over our heads, I felt sure it would collapse again (202).

The loneliness and isolation Land feels from her poverty also drives her into codependent relationships, as with her live-in arrangement with Travis (who takes her labor for granted and demands she help him on the farm sans pay).

Maid also exposes the ways familiar environments and certain environmental intimacies required by a job can trigger trauma responses. On numerous occasions—after a bad argument, a meltdown from her daughter, and a terrifying car accident—Land breaks down crying in the bathrooms of her clients’ homes. Thus, whenever she cleans these bathrooms thereafter in her day-to-day work, she physically recalls her feelings of panic, fear, and loss of control.

Maid further illustrates how many other women experience similar traumas in poverty and relationships. She uses the compelling example of her stepmother Charlotte, who suffers physical abuse at her father’s hands. Her father refuses to accept responsibility for causing Charlotte’s injuries, and instead claims that Land is lying to get attention, just like she “lied” about Jamie’s abuse. Through this example, Land reveals how easy it is to blame women for their own struggles in a culture conditioned to believe women lie for attention. This gender-based stigma heightens the sensation of humiliation Land already experiences as a poor person.

The Search for Home

From the very first sentence—“My daughter learned to walk in a homeless shelter” (3)—Maid identifies itself as the quest for a permanent family home (and a search for the meaning of “home”). Land spends much of the book moving from one liminal situation to another: from the homeless shelter to transitional housing, from Travis’ house to a tiny studio apartment, from a two-bedroom near a family home—which she can only afford thanks to a work-trade agreement—to her final dream home in Missoula, Montana.

Land not only spends much of the book searching for a literal living space but investigates the houses of her clients as model emotional “homes.” Initially, she idealizes the houses that have material assets she desires such as the luxurious kitchen in the Chef’s House. She is repulsed by the homes of unhappy families such as the Porn House, wherein she identifies the sad environment—separate bedrooms and porn magazines testifying to the couples’ emotional distance—with her own faltering relationships. Alternately, she is inspired by homes of loving couples such as Henry’s House and the Loving House, wherein the affection of the owners is exemplified by family photos, mementos, and other emotions objects that are displayed in a sacred way.

Comparing her own home environments to these loving environments, Land comes to realize that material possessions have little connection to the happiness of a home, and that “home” can be measured by the moments of love shared within it. She states:

I didn’t need two-point-five baths and a garage. Anyway, I saw how hard it was to keep them clean. Despite our surroundings, I woke up in the morning encased in love. […] Our space was a home because we loved each other in it (209).

Motherhood in Poverty

Throughout Maid, Land struggles to reconcile the deep love she feels for her daughter with the understanding that her surprise pregnancy was the inciting event leading to her poverty. Prior to becoming pregnant, Land’s goal was to move to Missoula, Montana, and write stories while pursuing her bachelor’s degree. Her surprise pregnancy leads her to homelessness (as she flees her abusive partner), financial desperation (living as a single mother with limited job options), and the deferment of her dream (as she feels obligated to stay in Washington and share custody of her daughter). Land reflects that in her youth, poverty always felt like a possibility far removed, but “after one kid and a breakup, [she found herself] smack in the middle of a reality that [she] didn’t know how to get out of” (13).

Between the demands of her schedule and the stresses of living by limited means, Land often finds herself struggling to remain emotionally present and “in the moment” with her daughter. Ultimately, her conscious striving to remain in the moment—and her dream for a future with her daughter—helps both of them heal from the traumas of poverty. She describes the importance of not only imagining a better future with her daughter, but of bolstering her own self confidence and imaginative capabilities by hearing her daughter’s dreams. Thus, she reveals how motherhood within poverty is not simply a struggle (to priorities, to balance responsibilities, and to remain emotionally present); rather, it is a beautiful—if emotionally complicated—foundation for connection and shared dreams.

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