Liar & Spy

Georges blurts this reasoning out to Safer, who tells him to relax. Safer notes that sometimes people leave their doorknobs unlocked. He jiggles the doorknob, but it’s locked; Safer turns and runs back to his apartment, with Georges following. Back at Safer’s apartment, Georges asks what Safer would have done if the door had been unlocked. Safer says he would have made a note of it but confirms to Georges that he wouldn’t have gone in because “planning is essential” (99).

Candy comes into the living room to give Georges a printed article about the umami taste. They talk about how odd it is that people like different tastes and aren’t biologically programmed to enjoy healthy food and spit out poison. The boys go to Georges’s apartment, where Safer shows Georges how to bang an SOS on the heating pipe in the kitchen. Georges is hesitant about the plan, but Safer tells him he’s broken into apartments before using a credit card, and that as long as Georges is on lookout, everything will be fine. Georges agrees to be the lookout once only; Safer says they’ll go through with the plan right now.

Safer tells Georges to call the police if he’s not back in 10 minutes, then takes off his shoes and socks and walks out the door. Georges watches the lobbycam faithfully but sees no one but a young neighbor boy who enjoys knock-knock jokes. Georges uses the intercom to tell the boy a knock-knock joke, causing him to laugh hysterically. Suddenly Safer asks if Georges is having fun—he has somehow reentered the apartment without Georges noticing. Safer criticizes Georges for talking over the lobbycam to tell jokes. Safer tells Georges that Mr. X had a handsaw on newspaper on his dining room table, bleach and cleaners under his kitchen sink, and a suspiciously clean bathtub, but that he couldn’t find anything that to open with the little gold key. Safer returns to his own apartment; Georges watches America’s Funniest Home Videos until his father comes home and they go to Yum Li’s for dinner. His dad tells him that he saw Georges’s mom that day and she’s “a trouper […]. She’s amazing. Really strong. Everything is going great there” (107).

On the way back from Yum Li’s, they pass Candy, Pigeon, and their parents walking home from DeMarco’s with a pizza box for Safer. Unsure of why Safer is not with the family, Georges speculates that Safer is still mad at Pigeon. Georges’s mother calls while his father is downstairs doing laundry. She sounds tired and asks Georges to tell her about one of the funny home videos he’s watching. That night, Georges leaves a Scrabble message: “KANGAROOS ARE QUIET / LOVE ME” (109).

In the morning, the Scrabble tiles read: “KOALAS LOVE TO SLEEP” (110). Georges looks it up and confirms that koalas sleep 18 to 22 hours a day. On the way into science class, Dallas and Carter call Georges “Gorgeous” and say he’s “SDP,” which stands for “So. Damn. Pathetic” (110). Bob English asks why Georges does nothing when Dallas and Carter bully him. Georges thinks that there are two versions of him, the way there are two versions of the letter G—the hard G and the soft G. The hard G goes to school and “nothing can hurt him” (111). He thinks that he used to know which version of himself is the real one, but he’s not sure anymore.

Dallas bullies Georges in the cafeteria at lunch, and Mandy stands up to Dallas, who turns his attention to her and starts to taunt her over her affection for Gabe, claiming that Gabe thinks she’s gross and that the two of them will never get married, no matter what the results of the taste test turn out to be. In gym class, Ms. Warner chooses Georges to be the captain of one of the teams for Capture the Flag—the blue team. Georges knows that being chosen last for a team can be devastating, so he chooses all kids who are usually picked last, and soon realizes that he’s having fun. His team members all choose code names like “Spike, Shark Attack, and Laser” (114). They hide their flag really well and then ignore the red team’s flag entirely. Carter, Dallas, and Mandy get upset that the game isn’t going the way it usually does. The game officially ends on a tie because the red team never finds the blue team’s flag.

At Bennie’s after school, Carter and Dallas bother Georges again. He talks back to them this time, and Dallas shoves him against the chip rack. Bennie interrupts and kicks Dallas out of the shop. Back at his apartment, Georges finds a note from Safer saying that Mr. X left with a suitcase at 12:45 p.m. The phone rings; Georges picks it up and is surprised to find that the caller is not Safer, but Bob English. Bob points out that even if Georges cannot taste the chemical on the taste-test day, he can always pretend that he does. Upstairs, Safer tells Georges that it’s time to go back into Mr. X’s apartment, but that first they must make a list of things that can be opened with a key. Georges has a lot of ideas because his parents have taken him along on a lot of antique shopping trips. Safer praises him for his insight and tells him he’s not a novice anymore and that he’s ready for the next step—night work.

Georges puts his cell phone in a tube sock and sleeps on it so that the vibration will wake him up when Safer calls, which he does at two in the morning. Georges goes on their mission in his pajamas, which dismays Safer, who says, “Spies get dressed” (121). Georges doesn’t want to go inside Mr. X’s apartment, so Safer tells him that he can just stand lookout. Georges refuses that, too, and goes downstairs to his bed. His cell phone rings—Safer, asking what he would open if he was a key. As they talk, Safer says “uh oh,” and “wait,” and then hangs up. Georges runs upstairs to help. He goes into Mr. X’s apartment and finds Safer casually sipping a bottle of water. Georges, angry, pulls Safer out into the hallway and says he’s made him a criminal. Safer says Georges isn’t a criminal, he’s a hero, and that he gave Georges the gift of knowing what kind of person he is: a brave one.

On Saturday morning, Georges’s father suggests that they go to the Museum of Modern Art and then stop at the hospital to visit Georges’s mother. Georges declines, saying he has a lot of homework. His father heads to the hospital after breakfast, taking Mom’s robe and some of her favorite yogurts in a plastic bag. On the way upstairs, Georges sees that the wrapper is still tucked into Mr. X’s door frame, but he takes it out and brings it upstairs. Candy answers the door, and they have a conversation about the “cool table” at school, agreeing that people who are friends with jerks are probably also jerks. Candy says that she would just decide her table was the cool table, but Georges says it doesn’t work like that, which outrages her.

Georges shows Safer the gum wrapper and says Mr. X must be back. Safer seems very surprised. Georges gets the impression that Safer knows he’s lying. Candy and Safer tell Georges that the parrots are back. Safer keeps his promise to teach Georges how to make delicious scrambled eggs, and then they hang out doing nothing. When Georges’s dad calls and puts his mom on the phone, Georges thinks she doesn’t sound too tired this time. Later, Georges invites Safer to Yum Li’s with him and his dad, but Safer says he can’t because he has to babysit Candy. Georges says they can both come, but Safer still declines. Wanting to go with Georges, Candy tells Safer she hates him and then stomps down the hall and slams her door. Safer walks Georges to the door, gives him a fresh gum wrapper, and says, “Yeah, I forgive you too,” (132), which lets Georges know that Safer is aware that he lied about the wrapper being on the door mat.

Georges tells his dad about the parrots as they walk to Yum Li’s. When they get to the restaurant, Yum Li jokes, asking if they’ve forgotten where the grocery store is and offering to draw them a map. At the big center table, Georges and his father see Jason, Jason’s family, and Carter Dixon. Georges’s dad goes over to say hi, and the parents talk. Jason waves to Georges, but Carter just stares at his plate.

At their own table, Georges’s dad says they should have people over soon. Yum Li brings them three fortune cookies and a map drawn on a napkin with directions to the closest grocery store. When they get back to the apartment, they are in time to hear someone named Sophia leaving a voicemail. Georges’s father picks up the phone and goes to his bedroom to talk. Georges leaves the third fortune cookie and a Scrabble message on his desk that reads, “GOOD NIGHT COOKIE / LOVE ME” (134).