I'm Thinking of Ending Things

Each of the farm animals young Jake shows the protagonist on their arrival at his family’s farm acts as a symbol for Jake’s struggle to decide whether to kill himself. The dead and frozen lambs are indicative of his current state of mind being frozen in indecision. He believes that when they thaw in the spring, his father will burn them, but he cannot say definitively. This symbolizes Jake’s hope that he will eventually make his decision, but as he writes this scene he cannot say for sure.

The pigs and their death as retold by Jake symbolize the way his thoughts, doubts, and fears have eaten away at his mental well-being. The pigs are described as staying in one place, similar to the lambs, indicating Jake’s inability to change the nature of his thoughts or his inability to relate to other people. The maggots eat the pigs alive, just as Jake’s thoughts threaten to eat him. Furthermore, in this scene the protagonist asks, “What if suffering doesn’t end with death? How can we know?” (82). This symbolizes Jake’s fear that he will remain in the same place plagued by the same struggles even after death.

Finally, in the hen house, the protagonist witnesses a hen eating its own egg. In addition to symbolizing the novel’s theme of the circular nature of time, this symbol further corresponds to Jake’s fear that suicide will not alleviate his suffering. The circular nature of time implies the end brings one back to the beginning. By Jake’s estimation, suicide may bring him back to the beginning of his life and force him to re-experience his entire struggle again. The protagonist’s revulsion at the sight of the hen eating its egg further supports Jake’s fear of being stuck in circular time.