I Never Thought of It That Way: How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times

Guzmán argues that questioning one’s own assumptions, rather than attempting to change others’ minds, leads to more productive dialogue and deeper understanding across political divides. Through detailed examples, research findings, and personal narratives, Guzmán demonstrates how examining assumptions creates space for genuine connection and learning, even among people with opposing viewpoints. The author’s approach suggests that the path to bridging political divides lies not in persuasion tactics but in the willingness to examine and challenge one’s own preconceptions.

One important illustration of this principle appears in Laura Caspi’s journey of self-discovery during the Sherman County visit. Initially, Caspi had made sweeping assumptions about Trump voters, believing that their vote indicated opposition to everything she valued. Her thought process followed a rigid pattern:

1. “My vote against the candidate I despise is a vote for things that feel absolutely good and important.
2. A vote for the candidate I despise must be a vote against these good and important things.
3. Anyone who votes for the candidate I despise must be against good and important things.
4. Anyone who votes for this candidate must be a bad person.” (102)

However, by questioning these assumptions and engaging directly with Sherman County residents, she discovered that their voting choices stemmed from different priorities and experiences rather than opposition to her values. Through face-to-face conversations, Caspi learned about specific issues affecting rural communities, such as healthcare costs and agricultural regulations, that influenced their voting decisions in ways she had never considered.

The author further develops this theme through the New York Times refrigerator quiz experiment, which revealed how assumptions about political affiliations often prove incorrect. When readers attempted to match refrigerator contents with voters’ political preferences, they achieved only 52% accuracy—barely better than random chance. The experiment challenged common assumptions about consumer choices and political identity, such as the belief that mass-branded products indicated conservative voters while specialized organic products suggested liberal voters. This experiment demonstrates how everyday assumptions about political identity often stem from stereotypes rather than reality, highlighting the importance of questioning these automatic associations.

The narrative also explores how questioning assumptions applies to the nature of opinion formation itself. Through philosopher David Smith’s insights, Guzmán challenges the common assumption that people actively choose their opinions. Instead, Smith argues that beliefs form naturally through life experiences, suggesting that judging others harshly for their views misunderstands how opinions develop. Smith’s personal journey of changing religious beliefs over 15 years demonstrates how opinions evolve through exposure to new experiences and evidence rather than through conscious choice. This perspective shifts the focus from trying to change minds to understanding the experiences that shape different viewpoints, offering a more nuanced approach to political dialogue.

By examining how questioning assumptions leads to deeper understanding, Guzmán’s work demonstrates that genuine political dialogue requires moving beyond the impulse to change minds and toward a more curious exploration of why people hold their beliefs. As the author illustrates through various examples and insights, questioning rather than defending assumptions can build bridges across seemingly insurmountable political divides, creating opportunities for genuine connection and mutual understanding in an increasingly polarized world.