83 pages • 2 hours read
Erika L. SanchezI Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter
Fiction | Novel | YA | Published in 2017A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more. For select classroom titles, we also provide Teaching Guides with discussion and quiz questions to prompt student engagement.
Chapters 1-5Chapter Summaries & Analyses
Chapter 1 Summary
The novel begins with 15-year-old Julia Reyes’ observations of her sister Olga’s corpse. She notices that Olga’s face has a smug smirk, which is uncharacteristic of her, since “Olga was as meek and fragile as a baby bird” (1). Julia thinks her 22-year-old sister was “Saint Olga, the perfect Mexican daughter” (2), who led a boring, plain life. Julia cannot wait to leave her home in Chicago and aspires to be a famous writer.
At the wake, their mother, Amparo Montenegro Reyes (“Amá”), wails by Olga’s casket while their father, Rafael (“Apa”), sits at the back of the room silently all day. Julia wants to comfort Amá but has never had a close, affectionate relationship with her. Despite not having much in common, Julia does believe she and Olga loved each other.
Julia mentally replays the events on the day of Olga’s death, wondering what she could have done differently to keep Olga from dying. That day, Julia got sent to the principal’s office—a regular occurrence—for mouthing off to a teacher. Instead of giving Olga a ride, Amá had to pick Julia up from school. While crossing the street to catch a bus, Olga checked her phone and a semi-truck hit her. Julia gets the sense that Amá secretly blames her for Olga’s death, because had Julia not gotten in trouble, Olga would not have been crossing that street.
Julia’s nosy aunts whisper behind her at the wake, which reminds her how poorly she fits in with the rest of her family. Julia’s best friend, Lorena, arrives, and she is the only one able to comfort Julia. Julia notices an unfamiliar man crying in the back of the room and assumes it is a distant relative. Olga’s best friend Angie then arrives and is just as visibly upset as Amá.
Chapter 2 Summary
Amá hardly leaves her bed for two weeks following the funeral. She cannot bring herself to clean the apartment or herself, which shocks Julia, because Amá is normally an obsessively clean person. Julia checks in on Amá, but Amá gets defensive and compares Julia to Olga. Julia takes some money from Amá’s purse to buy herself a more substantial meal, and when she returns home, Amá has washed up. Instead of characteristically interrogating Julia about where she has been, Amá tells her they are going to throw her a quinceañera, a coming of age celebration for 15-year-olds. Julia is already 15, but Amá regrets never having one for Olga. Julia genuinely does not want this party but knows Amá has made up her mind.
Julia goes to Olga’s room when she cannot sleep, even though Amá has threatened her to never go in there. She reminisces about her close childhood with Olga, and summers spent in Mexico. Now that Olga is gone, Julia “[feels] like [she] didn’t know her at all” (20). In Olga’s pillowcase Julia discovers a note that says “I love you” written on the back of a drug prescription. Julia has only ever known about Olga’s boyfriend Pedro, who was incredibly boring. As Julia starts looking through Olga’s other belongings, she finds some hidden lingerie and a key to The Continental hotel. Julia cannot imagine why Olga would own these items but cannot hack Olga’s laptop. She accidentally falls asleep in Olga’s bed, and when she nervously tries to sneak out of the room without being caught, Amá is waiting for her angrily.
Chapter 3 Summary
Julia gets grounded, and her parents lock Olga’s door and hide the key. Julia tries contacting Angie to ask if she knows anything but cannot reach her. When Julia expresses that she is bored at home, Amá insists that she help clean the house. Julia begins to resent her parents, thinking: “I thought deaths were supposed to bring people together, but I guess that’s just what happens on TV” (27).
The only class Julia looks forward to is English class with Mr. Ingman because he is a kind teacher, and Julia is passionate about writing. In math class one day, Julia is working on a poem in her journal and the teacher calls on her to answer a question. She apologizes for not paying attention, but Mr. Simmons insists that she solve the problem. She refuses, then runs out the door. She catches a bus and stops by a diner to eat. She chats with the waitress, telling her about Olga, and a stranger who overhears pays for Julia’s meal.
Julia eventually makes it to the Continental and asks if the receptionist has ever seen Olga. The receptionist cannot disclose information about guests, even though Julia tells her Olga is dead. The only information she receives is that this hotel and the one where Angie works are affiliated. Frustrated and disappointed, Julia heads to the Art Institute, her favorite museum. While looking at her favorite painting, “Judith Slaying Holofernes,” she reflects on the profound effects writing and art have on her: it is “like a soft light that glows in my chest and stomach for a few seconds” (14). After spending the rest of the afternoon in the museum, she takes the train home, where she gives the rest of her money to a woman asking for change. Julia notices the woman’s bright t-shirt that says, “God Has Been So Good to Me!”
Chapter 4 Summary
Julia is annoyed that Angie has not returned her calls, so she visits her on Saturday afternoon at home to confront her personally in hopes that she might know something about Olga. Julia had always admired Angie, but that admiration faded when “it turned out she was another Mexican daughter who didn’t want to leave home” (48). In the privacy of Angie’s bedroom, Julia interrogates Angie about Olga’s secrets, revealing she found Olga’s secret lingerie and hotel key. Angie insists she has no idea why Olga would own those things, asking Julia: “Why didn’t you ask her anything when she was alive? Maybe you wouldn’t have to be here, asking me questions about her love life” (53). When Julia asks her to clarify what she means about Olga’s “love life,” Angie tells her to leave. Julia has a sense that Angie is hiding something.
Chapter 5 Summary
Julia goes to Lorena’s after school to see if they can find any information about Olga through social media. When Julia tells Lorena about Olga’s secret belongings, Lorena is annoyed and thinks Julia is exaggerating. Lorena and Julia smoke some marijuana and discuss Julia’s quinceañera. Once they both feel high, they start laughing uncontrollably about nonsense. Lorena’s mother’s boyfriend, Jose Luis, unexpectedly returns from work early. While Julia dozes on the couch, she thinks Jose Luis is crouched in front of her, taking pictures of her with his phone.
Amá finally returns to her Saturday evening prayer group for the first time since Olga’s death, and Julia is relieved to see Amá doing something with her time off. Since Julia can get away with leaving the house when Amá is not home, Julia plans to go out with Lorena and her boyfriend, Carlos. She is hoping Carlos will take them to his cousin’s house because he is a police officer and Julia wants to ask him questions about Olga. Lorena and Carlos unexpectedly arrive with Carlos’ cousin Ramiro instead. They all drive to the beach, despite the freezing weather.
While Lorena and Carlos run off, Julia and Ramiro stand together awkwardly and make small talk. He asks about Olga, and Julia feels frustrated that Lorena shared that information with him. Ramiro begins to kiss her, just as Lorena and Carlos return, which embarrasses Julia.
Chapters 1-5 Analysis
Right away, the novel begins with comparisons between Julia and Olga, and the smirk Julia sees on Olga’s corpse at the wake is a mean reminder that she will never be able fill her sister’s perfect shoes. In this time of immense grief, Julia doesn’t provide or receive consolation from her parents, demonstrating what a distant relationship she has with them. Her mother needs somewhere to place her anger for Olga’s premature death, and unfortunately, Julia is the only one who bears the brunt of it: she “can see [the blame] in her big sad eyes every time she looks at [her]” (8). Julia cannot even turn to her other family members for support during this devastating time—her nosy aunts gossip behind her, an early indicator of Julia’s black sheep status within her family. She assumed the unfamiliar man at the wake must be a distant relative (which is a normal assumption for Julia to make given her extensive family), but this moment foreshadows one of the largest secrets of the book.
Amá shuts herself up in her room for two weeks, and in that time, Julia realizes how much the apartment falls apart without Amá and Olga’s work; their loss becomes evident in the physical space. Nevertheless, Julia cannot bring herself to help, as much as she wants to, because her personal grief initially manifests as apathy. Julia is constantly and voraciously hungry—not just because there is nothing for her to eat at home (a sign of her family’s grief stricken state and perpetual poverty), but because she is starving for her parents’ love and affection. Hunger and food are frequent symbols that appear throughout the novel, and the hunger Julia constantly feels is only sated after she begins the arduous process of healing herself and her relationship with her parents.
Even though Julia does not visibly display her emotions the way Amá does, she does grieve for her sister. Olga’s bed is the only thing that lets her sleep, and though she would never voice these thoughts to her parents, she does regret not knowing her sister better and not being as close to her as when they were young. The photo of them as children in Mexico at Mama Jacinta’s house provides Julia with fond memories of happier times and foreshadows the role Mama Jacinta and a visit to Mexico will play in Julia’s future healing.
Julia’s discovery of Olga’s hidden belongings introduces the theme of secrets and lies, which drives the rest of the novel. Motivated to uncover more of Olga’s buried past, Julia begins an obsessive search that lasts for two years. She is indignant that people, especially family members, keep secrets from one another, and she thinks that everyone has the right to know the truth. Over the course of the novel, as Julia begins to piece together parts of Olga’s past as well as her parents’, she starts to learn that truths can be incredibly painful, and lying can become morally ambiguous in certain situations.
Rebellious Julia frequently acts out impulsively, and her harsh punishments, Amá’s overbearing tendencies, and seemingly inescapable poverty make Julia that much more eager to leave her dilapidated apartment and never look back. Her trips into the city, which she usually takes without Amá’s permission or by blatantly lying to her, are her own mini escapes from her poor neighborhood and disappointing life. The afternoon she leaves school and heads to the Art Institute is a foreshadowing moment of Julia’s connection to both of her parents. While admiring her favorite painting, Judith Slaying Holofernes, Julia reflects on her love of art; something she later discovers she shares with her father. She mentions that the artist, Artemisia Gentileschi, was raped by her art teacher, which foreshadows the devastating secret she learns about Amá.
Julia is intellectual and observant, and she often notices the natural beauty around her, which parallels her emotional state as it changes, plummets, then regains balance as she begins to heal. As dissatisfied and spiteful Julia feels about her life, she is deeply sensitive and can be truly compassionate. After giving her remaining change to a homeless woman on the train, she makes note of the woman’s t-shirt which reads: “God Has Been So Good to Me!” Julia is by no means religious, but over the course of the novel, she gains a profound understanding of just how much she has to be grateful for.
