60 pages • 2 hours read
Kathleen GlasgowHow to Make Friends with the Dark
Fiction | Novel | YA | Published in 2019A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Symbols & Motifs
The “Bug in a Jar”
Content Warning: This section discusses themes of grief, parental loss, and trauma.
The “bug in a jar” is an important symbol that recurs throughout the novel. It first appears when Tiger reflects on how she feels stifled by June’s refusal to let her do “normal” teenage things. Tiger thinks that her lack of freedom makes her feel like a bug stuck in a glass jar, watching the outside world go by. This feeling intensifies after June’s death, and Tiger reflects on feeling like a “bug in a jar” at multiple points as she is grieving. The image symbolizes how Tiger feels insignificant in the larger scheme of things and also that she feels trapped in her situation. Interestingly, Tiger felt this way about her life even while June was alive. While June’s death intensifies this feeling, it does not cause it.
The final time the “bug in a jar” imagery makes an appearance is when Tiger is at the juvenile detention center. It is the lowest point of Tiger’s life, and, accordingly, she reflects on how the bug tells her that she has become “nothing.” However, the bug symbol does not appear again in the novel, and this correlates with the upward trajectory Tiger’s life takes after she moves out of juvenile detention. She spends time with Teddy in a steady and warm environment before finally returning to a stable family home with Shayna. Tiger has no reason to feel insignificant or trapped any longer.
The Dress
The dress that June buys for Tiger is an important recurring symbol of Tiger’s grief and guilt after June’s death. June buys it for the dance Tiger tells her about, and it is the subject and cause of the last conversation between mother and daughter, which devolves into a fight. Tiger’s anger about the dress stems from her feeling that June never lets her make her own choices. June buys the dress for her, rather than letting Tiger pick a dress out for herself; this is one more grievance that Tiger adds to her list. Thus, she lashes out at June to leave her alone, which is, in reality, her request for more independence.
However, when this wish literally and inadvertently comes true with June’s death, the dress becomes a permanent reminder of Tiger’s last words to June. Tiger feels like a bad daughter and regrets her harsh, final words to her mother. As penance, Tiger decides to wear only that dress henceforth. She longs to give up the independence she feels she wrongly fought for and tries to honor what she believes was June’s last wish.
The dress also symbolizes Tiger’s grief, and her wearing it is an indication of her mental health at any given point in the novel. Initially, Tiger refuses to even wash the dress, as she is so deeply steeped in grief. As time passes, the dress becomes her armor and defense against pain, as it is a connection to her mother. Tiger washes it for the first time when she returns with Shayna to the home she shared with her mother. This symbolizes how Tiger is able to let go of parts of her grief at this point since she has renewed hope for stability and family in her life. Tiger finally takes the dress off for good after encountering Teddy’s understanding and acceptance, symbolizing that she is finally ready to move on from her guilt and let herself heal.
Horses
Horses are a symbol of Tiger’s connection to her mother, especially after she learns that June used to visit and ride horses at the ranch. They first appear in the book when Karen is driving Tiger to foster care. Tiger finds it too painful to stop and watch them on Randy Gonzalez’s ranch since she remembers how June loved them. Horses feature prominently when Tiger discovers more about her mother’s past, too, as she finds pictures and articles detailing her mother’s equestrian achievements.
Significantly, the happiest Tiger feels after her mother’s death is during the week she spends at the ranch with the rest of the grief group. She is with a community of people who understand her, and she also feels connected to June through the horses. Tiger even strikes a connection with one of the horses at the ranch; she relates to it since it is recovering from a recent injury. Tiger has a cathartic moment when she talks to the horse about the recent struggles in her life.
Tiger’s response to horses and how it changes over the novel displays where she is in her journey of grieving. Initially, she finds it too painful to even look at the animals because they remind her of June. By the end of the novel, Tiger is looking forward to spending time with horses again. This shows that she can remember her mother with love, and although she misses her, Tiger is able to feel hope and happiness about life again.
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By Kathleen Glasgow
