How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character

Tough explores the intricate ways in which stress and adversity influence childhood development. He shows that children from adverse backgrounds suffer academically due to the long-lasting biological effects of stress, but that the impact of adversity can be mitigated through supportive nurturance. Moreover, he adds nuance to his argument by conveying that a life free from adversity and risk of failure can also hinder students academically by stunting the development of their character. Through a meticulous integration of scientific research and individual narratives, Tough illuminates the dual role of adversity, showing how it can both hinder and promote personal growth.

Tough lays the groundwork for understanding the detrimental effects of stress and adversity on children by delving into the concept of toxic stress and its neurological implications. The groundbreaking ACE study, which links early trauma to a range of long-term health and success outcomes, highlights the necessity of early intervention. Insights into the neurological impact of stress—especially its effect on the developing brain’s structure and function—underscore the importance of creating supportive environments to mitigate these effects. The real-world implications of adversity are brought to life through the story of Kewauna, a young woman whose academic and personal development was significantly challenged by her circumstances. Kewauna’s narrative exemplifies how proper support can aid students who have experienced significant childhood adversity.

Tough argues that “parents and other caregivers who are able to form close, nurturing relationships with their children can foster resilience in them that protects them from many of the worst effects of a harsh early environment” (28). He acknowledges that “this message can sound a bit warm and fuzzy, but it is rooted in cold, hard science” (28). Tough highlights studies on rats that show that the negative effects of adversity can be mitigated by nurturing parental relationships. He then draws a comparison between high-licking-and-grooming (high-LG) parenting in rats and its implications for human child-rearing practices, connecting this research to attachment theory. Tough illustrates how caregivers can mitigate the effects of stress on their children and enhance their children’s resilience by forging warm, nurturing, securely attached relationships with them.

Conversely, Tough emphasizes the necessity of exposing children—especially privileged, affluent children—to the risk of failure, while also providing them with the necessary support to develop resilience and noncognitive skills. Parents should not strive to anxiously shield their children from all forms of risk, failure, and struggle: “Those high-LG dams, I realized, were not helicopter parents […] It was almost as if the dams were trying to teach their pups, through repetition, a valuable skill: how to manage their inflamed stress systems and restore them to a resting state” (182). Effective parenting, Tough realizes, does not completely shelter children, but rather teaches them the noncognitive skills to soothe themselves, cope with failure, and manage their emotions, even in times of stress. He critiques the overprotective parenting of wealthy parents as well as education practices that fail to prepare children for real-world challenges, arguing for a more balanced exposure to adversity.

Overall, Tough argues that stress and adversity, while presenting significant obstacles to childhood development, can also serve as catalysts for the development of resilience and essential noncognitive skills, as long as children are given ample, stable, nurturing support. By weaving together scientific insights and empathetic storytelling, Tough presents a nuanced perspective on childhood development that advocates for environments that are both supportive and challenging. This approach not only fosters the growth of resilient, successful individuals, but it also highlights the crucial role of education and parenting in shaping children’s responses to adversity.