House Rules

“Jacob looks like a totally normal young man. He’s clearly intelligent. But having his day disrupted probably makes him feel the same way I would if I was suddenly told to bungee off the top of the Sears Tower.”

This quote illustrates the challenges Jacob faces due to disruptions in his routine, highlighting how certain situations can cause immense stress and discomfort for individuals with autism. It draws a parallel between a neurotypical person’s reaction to an extreme activity and Jacob’s reaction to routine disruptions, emphasizing the intense impact of such changes on Jacob.

“My biggest hope for Jacob is that moments like this won’t happen. My biggest fear: that they will, and I won’t always be there to keep people from thinking the worst of him.”

Emma’s reflection captures her fears and hopes as a mother, highlighting her protective instincts and concerns about Jacob’s well-being and perception by others. This line explores Emma’s maternal instincts and her struggles to shield Jacob from negative judgments and prejudice. It also foreshadows the moments in the novel when she and Jacob are separated, and law enforcement does “think the worst of him.”

“My mother will tell you Jacob’s not violent, but I am living proof that she’s kidding herself.”

Picoult uses a second-person narrative in this passage such that Theo directly addresses the reader. This establishes an intimate and confessional tone, suggesting that Theo is relaying information that he doesn’t readily share at home. However, this passage also perpetuates the harmful stereotype that people with autism are prone to violence.

“I’m not allowed to say my life would be easier without Jacob around. I’m not even allowed to think it. It’s another one of those unwritten house rules.”

Theo’s reflection highlights the internal conflict and guilt he experiences in his relationship with Jacob. The phrase “unwritten house rules” characterizes Theo in juxtaposition to Jacob. While Jacob understands the world literally, Theo reads between the lines to understand how to behave at home.

“I don’t understand why people never say what they mean. It’s like the immigrants who come to a country and learn the language but are completely baffled by idioms. (Seriously, how could anyone who isn’t a native English speaker ‘get the picture,’ so to speak, and not assume it has something to do with a photo or a painting?)”

This quote reflects the challenges faced by individuals with autism in interpreting social cues, expressions, and idiomatic language. The prosaic rhetorical question challenges the notion that idioms should be easily understood, reflecting the novel’s wider questions about why autistic behaviors are misunderstood or considered abnormal.

“We have rules in our house: 1. Clean up your own messes. 2. Tell the truth. 3. Brush your teeth twice a day. 4. Don’t be late for school. 5. Take care of your brother; he’s the only one you’ve got.”

In contrast to Theo’s reflection on the unspoken rules of their house, Jacob has a different—and very literal—interpretation. Where Theo explores unspoken expectations, the rules Jacob considers are laid out for him. The difference in their perceptions highlights their contrasting views of the world.

“I’m an addict, but instead of the rush some people get from shooting up or snorting, I need a fix that feels like home.”

This quote comes from Theo’s perspective as he explains why he sneaks into other people’s houses. Although he knows his behavior is wrong, he feels compelled to continue in the same way that people who experience addiction feel compelled to abuse substances. This reinforces his confessional tone with the reader, suggesting that Theo struggles to find an outlet for his feelings.

“I think it’s rude to stick a smile on your face and pretend you like talking to someone when in reality you’d rather be sticking bamboo slivers under your fingernails.”

This quote expresses Jacob’s discomfort with disingenuous social interactions and his preference for honesty even if it means acknowledging discomfort or lack of interest. It reflects the struggle of autistic individuals who long for authenticity in communication; like at other points in the novel, it challenges the idea that neurotypical behaviors are the most reasonable behaviors.

“It is hard for me to explain why it is so difficult to look into people’s eyes. Imagine what it would be like if someone sliced your chest with a scalpel and rummaged around inside you, squeezing your heart and lungs and kidneys. That level of complete invasion is what it feels like when I make eye contact.”

This quote vividly portrays Jacob’s sensory sensitivity and the overwhelming experience of eye contact for him, providing a glimpse into his sensory processing challenges. Picoult dissects the impact of his sensory experience with eye contact with gruesome images of organs, evoking a sense of revulsion.

“Why do teachers get respect for free when everyone else has to earn it?”

This quote highlights Jacob’s sense of justice and fairness in questioning societal norms. Jacob’s perception of respect and authority provides insights into his values and perspectives on social hierarchies. It also foreshadows his experience with the criminal justice system, when those in authority such as judges and police “get respect” but Jacob must “earn it.”

“The world isn’t fair, I think, but Jacob already knows that better than most of us.”

This quote reflects Emma’s struggle to explain unspoken social rules to Jacob, who doesn’t understand why a rule may vary from one situation to another. Emma wants to explain with the simple truth that this confusion occurs because the world isn’t fair, but that sobering reality reminds her that Jacob’s autism has exposed him to harsh realities at a deeper level than others.

“Sometimes I think the human heart is just a simple shelf. There is only so much you can pile onto it before something falls off an edge and you are left to pick up the pieces.”

This metaphor illustrates the emotional strain that Emma experiences as a mother, highlighting the challenges of balancing her responsibilities, fears, and emotional well-being. Viewing her heart as a shelf showcases the emotional weight Emma carries as a mother.

“Motherhood is a Sisyphean task. You finish sewing one seam shut, and another rips open. I have come to believe that this life I’m wearing will never really fit.”

This quote reflects the profound emotional and mental toll Emma experiences in raising both a neurotypical child and a child with autism, exploring The Intersection of Parenthood and Identity. Caught between the conflicting pressures of caring for her sons’ contrasting needs, Emma compares motherhood to Sisyphus’s endless task of rolling a boulder up a hill, emphasizing the relentless nature of caregiving and the perpetual feeling of inadequacy or unfulfilled expectations.

“There is no way to explain to a child that the line between good and evil isn’t nearly as black and white as a fairy tale would leave you to believe. That an ordinary person can turn into a villain under the right circumstances. That sometimes we dragon slayers do things we aren’t proud of.”

Rich’s reflection on the line between good and evil occurs while he speaks to his daughter’s second-grade class for Career Day. When a child asks him if he always catches the bad guys, Rich lies and says yes, encouraging the child to believe that detectives like him can keep them safe. But even as he lies to reassure the child, he is grappling with his own ethical dilemmas and the nuances of morality. His thoughts reflect Rich’s position as a gray antagonist in the novel; he is a caring father but puts Jacob in danger due to his ableism.

“We’re always bluffing, pretending we know best, when most of the time we’re just praying we won’t screw up too badly.”

As Rich reflects on the similarities between himself and Emma, he acknowledges that both of them are overwhelmed by their identities as single parents. Like Emma, Rich sees himself as his child’s advocate and protector, but he often feels crushed by the pressure to pretend he has it all together. Rich’s narrative also has a confessional tone, reinforcing the point that Picoult uses multiple narrators to portray a clearer picture of each character’s motives.

“When someone dies, it feels like the hole in your gum when a tooth falls out. You can chew, you can eat, you have plenty of other teeth, but your tongue keeps going back to that empty place, where all the nerves are still a little raw.”

This quote comes from Jacob’s reflection on the impact of Jess’s death. Because Jacob does not communicate or show emotion in the same manner as neurotypical people, others often assume that he cannot feel pain or that he doesn’t miss Jess. However, when Jacob makes comparisons between his grief and the sensory experience of losing a tooth, it becomes clear that he experiences loss intensely.

“I think cats have Asperger’s. Like me, they’re very smart. And like me, sometimes they simply need to be left alone.”

This quote reflects Jacob’s self-awareness about his need for solitude and space, drawing a comparison between himself and cats who are known for their independent nature. This comparison also provides a glimpse of Jacob’s sense of humor while hinting at an intriguing point: Cats do share many similarities with people with autism and cats are widely loved and accepted. Picoult highlights the irony that people can appreciate cats for their differences yet can’t do the same for people with autism.

“‘You don’t make a friend,’ Jacob said with a scowl. ‘It’s not like they come with directions like you’d find on a box of macaroni and cheese.’”

Jacob’s remark about friendship reflects his difficulty in understanding social nuances and the complexities of human relationships, emphasizing his challenges in navigating social interactions. This quote also highlights his literal interpretation of the world; where neurotypical people might instinctively understand the metaphor of “making” a friend, Jacob takes this phrase literally and finds it confusing, showcasing his struggle to comprehend the unspoken expectations that govern neurotypical social connections.

“It’s never the differences between people that surprise us. It’s the things that, against all odds, we have in common.”

This reflection from Rich’s perspective indicates that he is haunted by the similarities he shares with Emma. Although their opposing viewpoints of Jacob’s case cause them to clash, Rich is forced to admit that he cannot hate Emma or pretend he doesn’t understand her.

“The jury is supposed to be twelve peers, but technically that would mean every single person on the jury should have Asperger’s syndrome, because then they’d really understand me.”

Jacob’s observation about the jury reflects his desire for understanding and empathy from others, particularly those tasked with making judgments about him. This quote reflects the occasionally isolating nature of neurodivergence and highlights systemic ableism that prevents people with autism from experiencing justice in the same way as people without autism.

“It’s not just sight and sound that are ratcheted up, either. My skin is so sensitive that I can tell you whether my shirt is cotton or polyester just by its temperature against my back. I have to cut all the labels out of my clothes so they don’t rub because they feel like coarse sandpaper. If someone touches me when I am not expecting it, I scream—not out of fear but because it sometimes feels like my nerve endings are on the outside rather than the inside.”

Jacob’s description of his heightened sensory experiences sheds light on the sensory processing differences that individuals with autism can experience, showcasing his unique perspective on the world. Picoult uses haptic imagery, discussing “temperature” and texture, to convey the reality of this experience.

“Logical thinking keeps you from wasting time worrying, or hoping. It prevents disappointment. Imagination, on the other hand, only gets you hyped up over things that will never realistically happen.”

This quote, written from Jacob’s perspective, highlights his relationship with logic and imagination. Although neurotypical people perceive Jacob as being devoid of empathy or imagination, Jacob’s perspective clarifies that he has the capacity to imagine things; he simply chooses to concentrate on logic. In a world that perpetually lets him down, Jacob can take comfort in his own pragmatic worldview that prioritizes realism.

“I think you’re the only person who gets me. When I’m with you, the world doesn’t feel like a problem I can’t figure out. Please come to the dance, because you’re my music.”

This quote comes from Jacob’s reflection on a past lesson with Jess, during which she encouraged him to practice asking a girl to the prom. Each time, he imagined asking a girl he didn’t know, and his request felt awkward and flat: Each time, Jess pushed him to try again. Finally, Jacob imagined what he would say if he were asking Jess and that’s when he spoke from his heart. While Picoult mostly uses the second-person point of view when other characters confess to the reader, she also uses it when Jacob confesses to Jess, highlighting the intimacy of their relationship.