Hope And Other Dangerous Pursuits

After being beaten by her husband Maati, Halima goes to see her mother, who “wouldn’t be happy to see her, but she couldn’t think of anywhere else to go” (55). Her mother acknowledges that her husband beats her, and Halima says he drank the rent money so her mother cautions patience, much to Halima’s irritation. They drink tea, and her mother suggests going to a sorceress to get magic that will make Maati love her. Halima says she wants a divorce, and her mother asks her how she will feed her children. Halima says she’s not making ends meet now. Halima’s mother references another woman whose life was ruined when her husband refused to divorce her, and then says Maati beats Halima because she “talk[s] back” (58). Halima eventually acquiesces—after several more beatings from Maati—to trying to use the sorceress, dissolving the magic powder in bread dough and thinking about the sin she is committing. Halima readies the house, and her children come home from school to play cards.

Halima thinks about how her husband sulks after he beats her and never apologizes: “[S]he’d give up waiting and end up trying to console him, as though he were the one who’d been beaten” (61-62). Maati gets home and they eat dinner, and he is affectionate with her, making Halima remember the charismatic man she fell in love with. On her way to the market the next day, Halima finds 50 dirhams on the ground and thinks how lucky she is that Maati has promised to stop drinking. She also gets a cheaper bus ticket and gives some money to a beggar. She decides to splurge on fish for her family’s lunch, but then doesn’t know when she should serve it to avoid upsetting Maati. Maati comes home, so she no longer has to worry. They eat, and her son asks them to buy his history books for school, which Maati says they will next week: “Despite his good intentions, Maati would not keep his promise to their child” (65). The kids go back to school, and Maati admits he was fired from his job as a cab driver. Halima chastises Maati, and he hits and kicks her before she locks herself in the bathroom. Eventually, Maati leaves, and Halima wonders how her life devolved into this.

Halima takes a bus to a judge’s fancy house to bribe him to give her a divorce, money given to her by her brothers. She is nervous because “she’d never had that much money on her” (68). A man gets on the bus and begs people for money, but Halima ignores him. Once she reaches the Judge’s house, he reprimands her for standing outside where people can see and for bringing small bills. He indicates he expects more money later, and then shoves her towards the door. Halima panics that he won’t give her custody of her children or that he will go back on his word, and the judge tells her to leave before he changes his mind. She asks repeatedly for her money back, and eventually the judge throws it at her, then pushes her. Halima elbows him in the stomach and walks out, clutching the money.

At her janitorial job days later, Halima thinks about how little her literacy classes helped her. Her boss, a well-dressed translator of legal documents, comes into the office to work, and Halima reflects on how she “could have been her” (75). She thinks about her brothers who emigrated to Europe and send money back to her and her mother. She wonders if her life would be different if she had gone to Europe as well. She asks her boss about emigrating, and her boss talks about the lines at the embassies, indirectly referencing how difficult it would be for Halima to get a visa because of her lack of education and relationship with her husband. Halima regrets saying anything to her boss, but then alludes to the possibility that she will emigrate illegally because it seems like her only option right now.

Aziz tells his friends and family that he is going to emigrate illegally, “but none of them offered him good wishes for his trip” (78). When he tells his best childhood friend Lahcen, Lahcen starts screaming at him and knocks the table over. Aziz remembers growing up with Lahcen, who never had any luck with women. Aziz’s wife silently watches as Lahcen expresses concern for Aziz’s safety but then comes to Aziz’s aid, surprising Aziz. Lahcen believes Aziz will never come back, and they go outside so Lahcen can smoke. Aziz thinks about how Lahcen makes a pittance reselling phone cards and working at the post office, just enough to pay for “his bus fares and his cigarettes” (82). Lahcen chastises Aziz for getting married when he couldn’t support a family and says he should use his automation trade school diploma to get a job. Lahcen proposes a solution. Then they go out to get bread and are given a nasty look by the cashier, who reminds Aziz of his hateful and biased grandmother. Later, Zohra asks if Lahcen can really help. Aziz replies: “If Lahcen could help […] he’d have helped himself’ (85).

Lahcen has tea with Aziz’s parents, and he and Aziz go to a dentist’s office to fix a chair. Lahcen makes sure Aziz brings his work folder with him, and Zohra makes Aziz put on his father’s jacket to look presentable. Aziz is skeptical, believing that fixing a dentist’s chair will be a one-time thing, but Lahcen is optimistic that it might lead to something. They wait at the office until the last patient leaves, and the dentist is surprised to see them. He shows them the chair and explains it isn’t working. Aziz notices that the chair is plugged in, but the power button is off. He pushes the button, the chair starts working, and the dentist gives him ten dirhams. Aziz gives the money to Lahcen, saying that the trip was pointless—the dentist won’t help him find other work—because the dentist will never admit to his colleagues how stupid he is.

Aziz packs for his trip and thinks about his relationship with his wife, who is practical, whereas he is more romantic. Lahcen shows up, and they go get a cup of coffee, wherein Lahcen again reprimands Aziz for his decision to emigrate illegally. Aziz notices a gay couple at the shop, and then remembers various things about growing up with Lahcen, who he realizes is gay. Lahcen tells Aziz about the immigrants who drown, and Aziz lies about where he is getting money for the voyage. Aziz says not to worry about him and that he worries about Lahcen, which confuses Lahcen.

Aziz stops by Lahcen’s job at the post office, giving him a tae kwon do membership and some long-sleeve shirts he isn’t taking with him. Lahcen complains that he won’t wear them because they’re not tank tops and they don’t fit, and Aziz accuses him of being stubborn. Aziz insists on taking Lahcen out for coffee at a place by Zohra’s work so that he can secretly set Lahcen up with Zohra’s coworker. Lahcen basically ignores the woman, and Aziz makes small talk with her and his wife. Aziz tries to get Lahcen to take Zohra’s coworker out to the movies, but Lahcen smokes in silence. The women leave awkwardly, and Aziz asks what Lahcen thought, making suggestive comments about Zohra’s coworker. Lahcen is annoyed and tells Aziz he’s not interested. Aziz asks if he will try tae kwon do, and Lahcen goes to leave. Aziz apologizes, then asks: “What if your parents find out about you?” (97). Lahcen then replies:“Maybe they already know” (97). The morning of Aziz’s departure, Zohra tells him to come back and then breaks down crying but quickly recovers, always the brave one. Aziz tries to memorize everything about his life as he eats breakfast with his parents. He says goodbye to Lahcen, hugging him “with big, gruff pats the way he knew men were supposed to” (98).

Murad waits with other guides at the ferry, attracting tourists with a Paul Bowles-centric tour: “These days, though, the guides outnumbered the tourists and Murad found little work” (99). He narrows in on a single young couple, trying a variety of languages, but they ignore him. Another guide tries to swoop in, but Murad stares him down. He follows the couple, remembering his love for reading as an undergraduate student studying English, and keeps trying different tactics to interest them. The man tells him they don’t need a guide, but Murad follows them nonetheless. He finally offers them hashish, which makes the woman stop, but her male compatriot guides her into a cab. Murad curses losing the chance to make any money that day.

Murad goes back home to his mother’s apartment: “Every day this week he had come home empty-handed, and today was no different” (103). His mother says he’ll have better luck tomorrow, which Murad doubts and glues the soles of his shoes back together. Irritated, he interrogates his mother about the locations of his siblings. Murad’s mother tells him that a man came to ask her and his uncle for his sister’s hand today, which Murad views as a slight because he is the eldest man of the family, as his father has died. His mother responds nonchalantly, which further angers Murad. She implies that he does not get a say because he is not paying for the wedding, which makes Murad contemplate his choice to go to university instead of working with the smugglers.

Murad goes to a café to get coffee, avoiding a building “where he’d had his only promising interview in the six years since he finished college” (108). Rahal approaches him, asking if he has reconsidered emigrating illegally. They watch soccer on television. Murad says it’s too much risk, but Rahal tries to reassure him that it will be worth it because he has no future in Morocco. Murad asks how much, astonished when Rahal tells him 20,000 dirhams. They debate the price, Murad explaining that he will have to borrow money from his uncle, and Rahal explaining that he must bribe the police. Murad thinks of the stories he has heard of people drowning, even though Rahal tells him success stories, which he prefers. They haggle over the price a bit more, and Rahal guarantees Murad a job for 20,000. Rahal says they will leave as soon as Murad gets him the money.

Murad wanders around the city a little, thinking about how often he has been turned down for visas. He sees tourists but does not approach them. He stops at a food stall, and behind him emerges the couple from earlier. Murad wonders if they recognize him, envying the ease with which they float through life. The woman asks him for directions to a place he offered to take them earlier. Murad tells them where to go and then turns back to his food.