62 pages • 2 hours read
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Note: Whenever Mallory is looking at one of Teddy’s drawings, the drawing is typically shown in the book.
Nineteen-year-old Mallory Quinn recalls when she volunteered for a research study at the University of Pennsylvania. Before it was her turn, she put an Oxycontin pill in her mouth, sucked on it enough to feel an effect, and then saved it in her purse for later. Next, Mallory was blindfolded in a room with five men. She was supposed to raise her hand whenever she felt the “male gaze” as the men looked at her (2). Five minutes passed as she raised her hand. They repeated the experiment three times and then applauded before informing Mallory that she was the first of hundreds of women to score with 97% accuracy. Mallory explained to the researchers that she heard a buzzing sound when she was being watched. She agreed to come back, but that afternoon, she traded her phone for more Oxycontin pills and never heard from the researchers again.
Now 21 years old and 18 months sober, Mallory can’t find records of the research study’s existence. Her recovery sponsor, Russell, says false memories are common in addicts. Russell is a 68-year-old running coach who—after spending five years in prison—is in recovery after killing his neighbor with his car while using meth. Mallory lives at the Safe Harbor home for women in Philadelphia and works part-time as a teacher’s aide at Aunt Becky’s Childcare Academy.
Russell tells Mallory that he got her an interview for a summer job: caring for five-year-old Teddy, the son of Ted and Caroline Maxwell. Russell drives her to the interview. He tells Mallory that Caroline is a doctor at the Veterans Affairs hospital, so she has seen a lot of trauma—Mallory’s story won’t scare her off. Then, Russell gives her something to give to the Maxwells in case the interview goes badly and says he’ll be waiting nearby at a Starbucks, even though she tells him she can get home herself.
Teddy answers the door and then runs away when Mallory introduces herself. Teddy’s mother, Caroline, approaches and gives Mallory a brief tour of the first floor of the beautiful house. On one refrigerator, Mallory sees a drawing of a rabbit. She says that Teddy seems gifted, which is something Russell recommended. Caroline gives Mallory a list of predictable house rules, which include no overnight visitors, no talk of religion, and more. The final rule is “have fun!” (15). Caroline notices Mallory’s crucifix necklace but doesn’t mention it.
After the interview, they find Teddy drawing, but he blocks Mallory from seeing the picture. Caroline says he never liked drawing until moving into this house. She shows Mallory a chest filled with his pictures. As Mallory rifles through them, Teddy warms up to her and settles into her arms. One of the drawings shows Teddy with a scary woman: a “special friend” (25) named Anya. Teddy says she sings under his bed at night so that he can hear her. Teddy goes to greet his father, and Caroline says that Teddy isn’t possessed, despite the frightening drawing and the talk about Anya. She tells Mallory that she should call Ted Mr. Maxwell and that he is uncomfortable with her history with drugs.
Ted is aloof when they meet. He asks for five minutes with Mallory and then shows her a folder of resumes from other applicants. After a few questions, he moves her application to the bottom of the stack. Caroline apologizes for his challenging demeanor as she gives Mallory a tour of the back yard, where they see the guest cottage, which reminds Mallory of the witch’s house in Hansel and Gretel. Ted interrupts their tour and says he’ll finish it. When he and Mallory are alone, he tells her about Caroline and Teddy finding a baby bird on the grass. They named it Robert, and Caroline promised Teddy that the bird would be fine. The bird died within 48 hours, and Teddy took a week to recover. He is a sensitive child, and Ted worries about causing him any unnecessary distress.
Mallory gives Ted a drug-testing card, which is what Russell told her to give to them if she felt she needed more credibility. She says they can drug test her every week. Ted appreciates this but says he'd rather have a nanny who doesn’t have to have a weekly toxicology screen. When he goes inside, Mallory listens to him and Caroline arguing in the kitchen. Caroline comes out and says they’ll be in touch. Teddy gives Mallory a drawing of the two of them and hugs her. It’s been months since she had physical contact, and she has tears in her eyes. She goes to the Starbucks and finds Russell waiting for her. He says Caroline called to tell him they want her to start as soon as possible.
Three days after the interview, Ted and Teddy pick Mallory up at the train station. Ted is pleasant and untroubled. Caroline says he changed his mind when he saw how much Teddy liked Mallory. Over dinner that evening, she feels like part of the family. Ted jokingly says that Teddy had exposed himself to other children a few months prior. He says Caroline had overreacted and called it a sexual assault. While Teddy is in the bathroom, they joke about keeping him out of prison. The next day, Caroline takes Mallory shopping for a swimsuit. She also buys her a running flashlight with a stun gun attachment: the Viper Tek Mini, which Caroline calls the Viper.
Over the first week, Mallory notices some of Teddy’s quirks. For instance, he always wears the same purple striped shirt and has a closet filled with them. However, he is easygoing and flexible with Mallory and always follows her activity suggestions before showing her new drawings in the afternoons. After Caroline gets home, Mallory usually goes for a run. Twice a week, she goes to a sobriety meeting. Mallory is proud of herself and her newfound stability. Sometimes, Ted invites her over to talk and seems interested in her thoughts, regardless of the subject.
Anya is the only problem. Teddy blames her for any misbehavior, such as clothes that are suddenly scattered on the floor or when he says that Anya thinks tofu is disgusting so that he can get out of eating. Ted says Mallory is allowed to remind Teddy that Anya isn’t real. Whenever Mallory asks Teddy about Anya, he is evasive. He says he knows that she isn’t real, and Mallory feels guilty for pressing him. She tells him that her sister, Beth, had a friend like Anya. Her name was Cassiopeia. They pretended she was real, but they never used Cassiopeia to break rules. Then, Mallory looks at a drawing while Teddy is in the bathroom. It shows Anya lurking beneath the table where Mallory and Teddy were talking.
The Maxwells have family movie night once a week. Teddy loves The Wizard of Oz, and he and Mallory often play as the characters in the swimming pool. One night, Mallory tells Teddy not to swallow chlorine water, and he gets nervous about it. He asks what happens to the person inside a body when people die. Mallory believes in God and an afterlife, but she remembers the Maxwells’ rule about not discussing anything spiritual. She says Teddy should ask his parents.
A landscaper named Adrian arrives. Teddy loves his driving mower. Adrian is handsome and funny, and Mallory is intrigued. While Teddy goes to get a drawing, Mallory lies and tells Adrian that she is on the Penn State cross-country team, even though lying is against the principles of recovery. Adrian says he has seen her running at night. Teddy returns with a drawing of Adrian on the mower just as Adrian’s boss yells for him to come. Adrian works for his father, who runs a landscaping empire.
While Mallory is about to wash off in the outdoor shower, a neighbor, Mitzi, calls her name. She says Mallory shouldn’t show so much skin when the landscapers work. She says the Maxwells are self-absorbed, and Mallory notices that she smells like marijuana. Mitzi says she reads auras for a living and encourages Mallory to ask the Maxwells about the cottage’s history, which used to be called the “Devil House” (61). An artist named Annie Barrett was allegedly murdered there after World War II. No one has slept in it for over 70 years, until now. Caroline tells Mallory that the previous owners had no problems for 40 years, but they used the cottage as a tool shed, not a residence. Caroline advises Mallory to stay away from Mitzi, who is a drug user. She offers to move Mallory to a guest bedroom in the house, but Mallory says she’s fine. After going for a run, she starts a movie. As moths hit the windows of the cottage and branches scrape the walls, Mallory feels like she is being watched.
The first four chapters serve primarily to introduce Mallory, her backstory, Russell, and the Maxwells. These chapters also introduce the major points of thematic tension that will propel the story. Caroline’s list of rules introduces the theme of The Tension Between Faith, Fantasy, and Science. Teddy’s fixation on Anya and Mitzi’s convictions regarding the spiritual realm reinforce the questions regarding what constitutes evidence.
In many stories with first-person narration, the narrators do not admit (or realize) that they may be unreliable or that their experiences might be purely subjective. However, Mallory knows that she is an unreliable narrator given her drug abuse and mental trauma. She writes, “One of the hardest things about recovery is coming to terms with the fact that you can’t trust your brain anymore. In fact, you need to understand that your brain has become your own worst enemy” (5). Mallory’s brain is her primary tool when it comes to observing her situation and trying to make sense of the story’s events. For her, recovery is not solely about repairing the damage she did to herself but is also about accepting that she can learn to live with whatever damage cannot be repaired and find ways to thrive. However, she also describes her own brain as her worst enemy. This makes it easier to empathize with characters who doubt her claims about supernatural events given that Mallory often doubts herself. Her description of her fallible memory and perspective will be even more effective at the novel’s conclusion, when she reveals that this entire book is a text she wrote for Teddy (who will by then be living as Flora). The writing is her attempt to bear witness to what happened, and in writing it down, she makes her best effort at meticulous, thoughtful recollection that, once on paper, will not be subject to the distortion of memory.
Mallory’s memory is almost immediately called into question when she can’t find evidence about the research trial. For most of the novel, the study is forgotten, a suggestion that addiction may have damaged Mallory’s memory and neurology. However, it also foreshadows Mallory’s sensitivity to being watched, which serves her well after she moves into the cottage. She is aware of when Ted and Anya watch her. Near the novel’s conclusion, when she learns that the study was real, the study becomes a positive symbol: She is not a completely unreliable narrator, and she was not wrong about the study.
Bodily damage and physical exertion are recurring motifs throughout the story. When Mallory describes her love/hate relationship with running, she says, “Russell has a saying that I love—he says we don’t know how much our bodies can endure until we make cruel demands of them” (63). Even if Russell is correct, it doesn’t necessarily follow that everyone should want to make cruel demands of their bodies. Not everyone is determined to know what their limits are. For Mallory, making cruel demands of her body—voluntarily, through exercise—is an act of atonement for the mistreatment she put her body through with drugs. Her grueling runs allow her to exert control over her body, strengthening it again as part of her recovery.
As the first four chapters end, Mitzi has supplied the most potent seed of fear regarding the cottage. She heightens the narrative tension when she tells Mallory, “There is no rest of the story. After Annie died-or went missing, who knows—her family turned the cottage into a garden shed. Wouldn’t let anyone stay out there. And it’s been that way ever since, seventy-some years. Until this month” (62).