Grief Is for People

Who is Crosley’s audience for the memoir? What purpose does having a witness for grief serve?

The tone of the memoir is sometimes dark or wry, employing a particular type of humor at times. Why does Crosley adopt this tone in the narration? What risks does she take in doing so? What makes it effective?

Why does Crosley break from the pattern she has established by titling the final part of the book “Afterward” instead of “Acceptance”? What does “Afterward” imply that “Acceptance” does not? Why is one more appropriate than the other, and where do they overlap?

Crosley writes about the ritual of a funeral or memorial service as something that is done for the living, not the dead. Conduct some brief research about how various cultures outside of the United States honor or mark a death. Which of these rituals might have been useful to Crosley in her earlier stages of grief, and why?

Throughout the memoir, Crosley speaks of Russell in the third person; in Part 5, however, she addresses Russell directly. What impact does each of the two points of view have? What might be the reason for the switch in point of view? What does this signify or convey about Crosley’s grief and the stages of grief?

Crosley quotes from multiple works by Joan Didion, particularly the books The Year of Magical Thinking and Slouching Towards Bethlehem. Read one or more essays by Didion that address aspects of death, dying, or grief and then compare or contrast Didion’s notions with Crosley’s. Where do their perspectives intersect and diverge?

At one point, Crosley notes that the acceptable language around suicide has shifted, contemporarily, so that the term “die by suicide” or “death by suicide” is preferable over “committed suicide.” Conduct some brief research into the impetus for this change. How is language impactful when speaking about taboo topics like suicide or mental illness?

Conduct some brief research about the history of the societal taboos surrounding suicide. What beliefs are these taboos rooted in? What cultural shifts have occurred around suicide awareness?