49 pages • 1 hour read
Ami PolonskyGracefully Grayson
Fiction | Novel | Middle Grade | Published in 2014A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Symbols & Motifs
The Phoenix Painting
Lindy, Grayson’s mother, made a Phoenix painting which provides significant symbolism throughout the novel:
The one painting that she left behind especially for me is of the earth surrounded by a wave of trees and sprinkled with smiling animals. Behind the earth is the sky, brightening from darkness into light, and at the top of the sky, one bird that’s red, yellow, and blue is soaring, all alone. The painting hangs on the wall next to my bed, so I fall asleep each night looking at it, especially at the bird. And I wake up to it every morning (9-10).
According to Lindy’s letter, she was inspired to create the painting because, as a young child, Grayson Sender loved the myth of the Phoenix, a magical bird who is reborn from its ashes. First and foremost, the painting symbolizes Lindy’s unconditional love for her child. Additionally, it also represents the idea of a symbolic rebirth. Grayson falls ill after she reads her mother’s letters, then wakes up to see the Phoenix above her. This moment marks a shift in Grayson’s understanding of her own identity and relationships, and is a symbolic rebirth into the girl she now knows she has always been. Grayson also experiences a rebirth onstage when she is recognized for her true identity as a girl.
The Phoenix painting is echoed by other references to drawing, with Grayson often doodling princesses in her sketchbook or noticing “brushstrokes” (86, 180) of light and darkness. Birds are a recurring motif that evoke freedom and hope as well as the sense at times of being caged, such as Grayson’s thrifted pendant that reminds her of her mother’s painting; the moment when she watches herself from a bird’s eye view in Finn’s class and feels “like a bird in a cage” (19); and Grayson’s only complete memory of her mother: “‘Let go of my hand,’ Mom says. ‘Put out your arms. Maybe this is how it feels to be a bird’” (91).
Light and Darkness
The novel uses the motif of light and darkness to hint at Grayson’s state of mind. Grayson often mentions repetitive patterns of “darkness, light, darkness, light” (150, 181, 190-91) to chart good and bad moments. In several instances, Grayson expresses hope by referring to the “crystal light” (90, 147, 162, 180, 191), and conveys her despair by saying that the darkness is “moving in” (90, 150).
These patterns are also noticeable in Grayson’s physical environment. When she feels upset about not being able to use the girls’ bathroom, for instance, the weather parallels her state of mind: “I feel shaky as I watch the low, dark sky outside the window. There’s a bright circle buried behind the gray. The sun is trying to peek through, but it can’t” (174). Tellingly, her mother’s phoenix painting shows the sky “brightening from darkness into light” (9), hinting at Grayson’s parents’ love and Grayson’s journey toward acceptance.
Grayson’s sense of powerlessness is illustrated by repeated references to light and dark—“everything keeps flip-flopping back and forth, from bad to good, over and over again. Sometimes everything is light. Other times, everything is dark” and that “there’s nothing else for [her] to do but walk through these columns of dark and light” (146, 180). Grayson uses Persephone’s journey between the bright surface world and dark Underworld to find her place in the “gray” in between.
Grayson’s Reflection
Grayson is often depicted watching herself in the mirror and questioning her identity or appearance. Her changing reflection parallels her emotional journey throughout the narrative, as her outward appearance slowly comes to match her self-identity.
At first, Grayson is seen playing a game where she pretends that the boys’ clothes she wears are actually shiny dresses and gowns. She is upset that her ability to pretend is diminishing as she grows up. She experiences growing anxiety as she approaches puberty and realizes that playing pretend is not enough anymore. Grayson says: “I want to smash something into the mirror until I’m a million pieces on the ground” (16). Significantly, she does not want to break the mirror, but her own self.
The novel emphasizes Grayson’s rejection of her perceived identity as a boy when she looks for hints of her mother and grandmother in her own face, but is distraught when she can only find a resemblance to her father.
After she auditions for the role of Persephone, Grayson’s relationship to her reflection begins to change. When she goes home after the tryout, she wonders: “Did [Finn and Ms. Landen] see me standing there in front of them? Or did they see her?” (71); this explores the theme of Gender as a Societal Construct, and how there is a gap between who Grayson is and what other people perceive. When she finally sees herself in Persephone’s costume, Grayson says: “I finally see myself the way I’m supposed to be—my inside self matched up with my outside self. And now, everyone else will finally see it, too” (179). In this instance, she is still somewhat protected by her performance of a character, and thus is able to explore her identity safely.
Initially, Grayson is intimidated by the thrift store mirror, which seems “as tall as a building” (81). However, in the end, Grayson confidently stands in front of her reflection as she puts on her shirt and hair clips. She watches herself in the school bathroom’s “dirty mirror that looks like it’s about a million years old” (202), and is no longer as anxious about her appearance.
