George

“The very next weekend, she had found the denim bag at a yard sale for a quarter. It was just the size of a magazine, and had a zipper along the top. It was as if the universe wanted her to be able to store her collection safely.”

The emphasis on George’s good luck in finding the denim bag, which allows her to store her secret collection away from prying eyes, indicates the precariousness of her current situation as a girl who is masquerading as a boy and the sense of shame accompanying who she really is.

“The word man hit like a pile of rocks falling on George’s skull. It was a hundred times worse than boy, and she couldn’t breathe.”

When Ms. Udell praises George’s sensitivity and tells her she will turn into “a fine young man,” the effect is not what the teacher intended. George is disgusted by this reminder that her body will turn into a man’s, even further away from what she wants it to be. The visceral effect of the word “man,” which feels like “a pile of rocks falling,” gives her breathing difficulties, further illustrating her repulsion.

“She hated the smell of pee and bleach, and she hated the blue tiles on the wall to remind you where you were, as if the urinals didn’t make it obvious enough. The whole room was about being a boy, and when boys were in there, they liked to talk about what was between their legs.”

The boys’ bathroom is a traumatic experience for George, who finds it a haunting reminder of the sex she was assigned at birth. The symbols of masculinity, the urinals, blue tiles, and the talk about genitalia are all a frightening assault on her senses.

“George did want to be in the play. More than anything. But she didn’t want to be some smelly pig. She wanted to be Charlotte, the kind and wise spider, even if it was a girl’s part. Her mouth was open, but she couldn’t speak.”

George’s wish to play Charlotte, a character she admires and identifies with, is clear to her. However, the speechlessness that comes over her indicates her inability to express this wish, first to her best friend Kelly and then to the world.

“Boys didn’t like George, and George wasn’t so sure what she thought about them, either.”

George dreads the thought of a boy her age moving next door, because then her mother would have the expectation that they should be friends. There is a relationship of mutual suspicion between George and boys, because boys expect her to identify with them and their tropes of masculinity, when George does not. She is confused about how to relate to them.

“Ms. Udell will love that you care so much about the character that you want to play her onstage, even though she’s a girl and you’re a boy. Plays are all about pretending, right?”

While Kelly is supportive of George’s wish to audition for Charlotte, she does not understand that George’s motivation is not to pretend to be something she is not, but to show who she really is.

“Then she wrapped the towel around her torso, up by her armpits the way girls do, and ran a small black comb through her hair. She brushed it forward and stared at her pale, freckled face in the mirror before combing it back into its regular part down the middle.”

This intimate scene of George in the bathroom indicates how she uses her moments of privacy to perform her true self. Even everyday acts that the average person takes for granted, such as wrapping a towel under the armpits, rather than around the waist, are significant for George. Before she shows her expected ‘boy’ self to the world, it is important for her to comb her hair forward in a girlish fashion.

“George knew it could be done. A boy could become a girl. She had since read on the Internet that you could take girl hormones that would change your body, and you could get a bunch of different surgeries if you wanted them and had the money. This was called transitioning.”

Gino uses this quiet moment in the novel, where George is having a silent dinner with her mother, to provide some factual information on transgender people. As a contemporary child, with access to the internet, George already has the information that there are people like her in the world and that she is able to change her body to what she feels it should be.

“George knew that Mom was trying to help. But George didn’t have a normal problem. She wasn’t scared of snakes. She hadn’t failed a math test. She was a girl, and no one knew it.”

This passage illustrates George’s isolation and the height of her fears. Her “problem,” being a girl when no one knows it, is beyond the range of normal childhood problems. The extent of her problem scares her, keeping her in silence.

“Ms. Udell asked the boys who wished to audition to raise their hands. George joined them, lifting her hand just to the height of her head”

This passage illustrates the gendered nature of procedures in George’s school and her forced subscription to a gender she does not identify with, in order to get by. George’s half-hearted gesture demonstrates her reluctance to play along.

“You know I can’t very well cast you as Charlotte. I have too many girls who want the part. Besides, imagine how confused people would be.”

Ms. Udell deals George a fatal blow by saying that she cannot be Charlotte on account of her gender. The teacher is both worried about depriving the girls of a choice part and the audience being confused about a boy playing a girl’s role. Her attitude is both pragmatic and typical of a school teacher who is not enlightened in the matter of transgender children’s concerns and rights.

“She wasn’t sure whether she could dump her magazine friends like that. And even if she could, she couldn’t stop wanting to be like them.”

George considers dumping her girly magazines, but realizes that this effort to eject the girlishness from her life would be futile, as she would still want to be like the girls inside the magazines.

“I’ll bet he read the stupid spider’s part by mistake!” Jeff smirked. “‘He’s such a freaking girl anyway.”

Jeff’s joke is a cruel mirror of reality. In joking, Jeff has arrived at the fact of who George is and her endeavor to be Charlotte; however, he regards these facts as derogatory. It is especially painful to George that her truth should be treated as a joke.

“They stood together in heavy silence. Kelly’s brow furrowed in thought. After a few moments, she spoke. ‘You know, I thought about whether I was a boy once. Back when I was a firefighter and I thought all firefighters were boys.”

The interaction between Kelly and George after George tells her the truth is a realistic portrayal of coming out to a friend. Kelly’s processing of the information is conveyed at first in “heavy silence” and then an attempt to relate. She too has been affected by their world’s narrow and prescriptive understanding of gender, but she is not accurate in equating her temporary desire to be a boy with George’s experience.

“She dragged herself through her daily routine. She dragged herself out of bed in the morning and to the bathroom. She dragged herself downstairs and dragged her spoon through her cereal and up to her mouth. She dragged herself to the bus stop, through the day, and back home again.”

The repetition of the word “dragged” shows George’s lack of enthusiasm for life and her joyless days after she has begun to come out.

“Scott insisted on switching to a shooter game. He promised George that it was fun and that she would enjoy it. She didn’t, and after a few minutes, she left Scott to kill everything in sight.”

George’s dislike of the violent shooter video game is symptomatic of her distaste for aggressive tropes of masculinity, especially ones equated with violence.

“Sometimes transgender people don’t get rights.’ George had read on the Internet about transgender people being treated unfairly.”

When George tells Kelly this, it expresses the sad reality faced by transgender people. It is important for Gino to express the inequality of the current situation, even in a children’s book, to appeal to the young reader’s sense of justice and their belief that all humans are equal.

“If she couldn’t be Charlotte, she could at least deliver the large cards with the painted spiderweb words on them to Kelly […] She would be Charlotte’s Charlotte, deeply hidden in the shadows.”

This bittersweet passage expresses George’s innate goodness and admiration for Charlotte’s helpful character. If she cannot play Charlotte, then being like her and helping her friend is the next best thing. However, there is something tragic about her having to continue to hide who she really is from the world.

“There was nothing George dreaded more than when boys talked about what was in her underpants. Her cheeks grew so hot that she felt like metal. She wished she were made of metal, with laser eyes that could slash Jeff in two.”

George’s sense of shame at Jeff’s earlier reference to her growing “some balls” is as unbearable as touching white-hot metal. However, rather than remaining focused on her own body, the shame turns into anger and she seeks to attack Jeff.

“I mean, being gay is one thing. Kids are coming out much earlier than when I was young. It won’t be easy, but we’ll deal with it. But being that kind of gay? […] That’s something else entirely.”

When George’s family recognizes that she is different from her heteronormative boy peers, they assume she is gay. Although, as her mother acknowledges, it wouldn’t “be easy” to come out as gay, it is more familiar than the still undefined kind of queerness George exhibits. Gino, writing in the early 2010s, acknowledges that some progress has been made in acknowledging the existence and rights of non-heteronormative people, but there is still a long way to go.

“You’re only ten years old. You don’t know how you’ll feel in a few years.’ George’s heart sank. She couldn’t wait years. She could hardly wait another minute.”

That George’s mother does not understand her, or her urgent need to be recognized as a girl, is particularly painful. Despite her young age, she does not want to wait for puberty to confirm her gender; she already knows. Here, Gino seeks to dispel the myth that those who are assigned one gender and feel themselves to be another are confused. They are clear about who they are, and the world is confused.

“It felt funny to hear Kelly call her a girl—but in a good way, like a tickling in her stomach that reminded her she was real.”

This primary affirmation from the outside world that she is indeed visible as a girl is deeply important to George. She feels real and finally seen for who she is and is encouraged to progress in this way.

“‘Trying to be a boy is really hard.’”

When George’s mother expresses concern that her child will have a difficult journey through life because she is different, George replies that trying to be a boy, something she is not, is the most difficult thing of all. Here, Gino acknowledges a common parental concern about a child having a hard time because they are transgender, and then turns it on its head by saying that pretending is harder.