Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock

Outside, Leonard imagines Philadelphia underwater, as it is in his letters from the future. He waits for a train. The train takes him home to New Jersey during sunrise. At his stop, Leonard fools a security guard into letting him exit through the turnstiles without paying. Leonard walks toward home and stops outside Lauren’s house. He imagines making amends with her for the kiss but realizes how unlikely that is, given what he did. He walks to Walt’s house. 

Leonard walks into Walt’s living room to find The African Queen on his television. Walt was concerned about Leonard after his behavior the previous day. After a silence, Walt mimics Katharine Hepburn’s lines from the film, and Leonard responds as Humphrey Bogart. Leonard stops the recital to ask Walt if they can watch the rest of the movie rather than talking about what happened yesterday.

Walt asks Leonard about his new Bogart hat and learns that it was Leonard’s birthday yesterday. Leonard admits that he lied about the hat’s origins. Leonard plans to skip school and return to Walt’s that evening for another film. The friends exchange warm goodbyes. Leonard concludes that “maybe there are other people like Walt out there—waiting for me to find them. Maybe” (254).  

Leonard returns home to find the shattered mirror and wrapped hair he left in the kitchen. He feels disappointed that Linda forgot his birthday. Leonard charges his phone and discovers concerned voicemails from Linda and Herr Silverman, both of which he deletes.

Leonard hears Linda enter the house downstairs and stews with contempt. She approaches his bedroom and finds her son sitting on the bed. Linda remarks on Leonard’s hair and asks him why Herr Silverman called her. She dismisses the P-38 as ineffective and assumes he pulled a “prank” the previous day. 

Seething, Leonard gazes back in silence and imagines his mother’s gory death. She continues asking Leonard questions and rationalizing his behavior. She denies Herr Silverman’s belief that Leonard needs counseling. 

Leonard interrupts her to demand that Linda make him chocolate banana pancakes, as she did once when he was younger. Leonard tells Linda that he will buy the ingredients and let her go back to her busy life in New York if she makes him the pancakes.

Linda is distracted with a work call when Leonard returns home, so he prepares the pancakes alone. Leonard tries to ask Linda to eat with him, but she continues working. He eats pancakes and disposes of the rest. Leonard leaves the house. 

Leonard pens another letter from his imaginary future daughter, S. This is her 18th birthday, and she knows Leonard is angry that she wants to leave Outpost 37. S wants to live on land, meet other young adults, attend school, and fall in love. She references the pancakes he made her that day for her birthday.

Leonard also used their last two oxygen tanks to dive into flooded Philadelphia and view the famous LOVE sculpture there. S realizes how much her father endured as a young person and what a good life he gave her. She has left him a braid of her hair, similar to Leonard cutting off his hair on his 18th birthday.

Just as Leonard had to find his loved ones, so does S. She expresses gratitude for everything she and her father have shared. She imagines plunging into his mind, where she would also find a LOVE sculpture. She signs off, “And man the great light. Even when no one is looking” (273).