Everything on a Waffle

Uncle Jack picks up Primrose and her cinnamon rolls, and they drive to Miss Bailey’s house. As they walk across the street, Primrose emulates her uncle’s long strides and stumbles, skinning her knee, which begins to bleed. Miss Bailey says she has a bandage in the house, but the family that wants to see the home shows up, precluding Miss Bailey from reentering. Primrose stands outside with Uncle Jack’s handkerchief on her knee for half an hour. She begins practicing her uncle’s long strides and feels her knee start to bleed again, causing her to stop in the middle of the street and look down. Primrose hears the blast of a truck horn and looks up in time to see a truck headed toward her.

Waking in the hospital, Primrose is first aware of the cacophony around her and decides that she has not died and gone to heaven, which would certainly be less noisy. The nurse and doctor speak to her and tell her caregivers airlifted her to Comox Hospital after a truck struck her. Uncle Jack, who is downstairs getting coffee, hastens to her room. He explains to her that the truck was able to avoid a direct hit but did cause a concussion, and she has lost the little toe on one foot.

She says, “In the days that followed, once I got used to being short a toe, I began to enjoy certain aspects of hospital life” (71). Though the truck driver heroically prevented a fatality, he feels profound remorse. His wife bakes chocolate-covered cashews—that look like tiny toes—of which Primrose never tires. Grateful for their care, Uncle Jack distributes boxes of chocolates to Primrose’s nurses, who all seem to find him attractive.

Miss Honeycut appears with get well cards from Primrose’s classmates. She asks Primrose if Uncle Jack might enjoy company at supper since Primrose is in the hospital. Primrose immediately says no, then quickly explains that her uncle shows houses during the supper hour. When the counselor asks if it is time for her to abandon hope in her parents’ survival, Primrose asks Miss Honeycut if she has ever known something in her heart for which there was no rational explanation. The counselor rambles, then confesses to having an almost telepathic connection with her older sister. As Miss Honeycut leaves, she encounters Uncle Jack and Miss Perfidy, who came with him to Comox to see Primrose and then to visit her widowed sister. Primrose asks Miss Perfidy if she has known things in her heart for which there was no evidence, to which Miss Perfidy simply replies no. As they talk, Miss Perfidy scolds Primrose for eating chocolates, saying that when she grew up on a coffee plantation in Africa, she was not allowed to eat chocolates before bed. Later, Primrose discovers that Miss Perfidy has never traveled outside of Canada. Mrs. Witherspoon, Miss Perfidy’s sister, arrives to take Miss Perfidy home with her and seems distressed at Miss Perfidy’s disheveled appearance.

When Uncle Jack returns, Primrose asks him why he works so hard to sell the cinnamon house, which will bring him less return than most other properties. He replies, “Because […] it’s going to be the hardest to sell” (80). Lying alone after everyone has departed, her foot throbbing, Primrose experiences the unexpected sensation of real joy.

Once home from the hospital, Primrose discovers that Uncle Jack had supper with Miss Honeycut, who served him pear soup. She worked to convince him that he should free himself from the obligation of an orphaned niece. Uncle Jack insisted that he would perpetually care for Primrose. Primrose thought, “I knew he had just said this to let her down gently but it seemed to me it only gave her a greater motivation to get rid of me” (81).

When she returns to school, Miss Honeycut lectures her about the need to deal with her issues. Primrose has no idea what Miss Honeycut means. As a result of Miss Honeycut’s conversation with her teacher, Primrose receives the assignment of taking Herman, the class guinea pig, home with her on weekends. The teacher explains how this is therapeutic, and Primrose responds with a positive comment, to which the teacher also responds positively. Primrose writes, “But, of course, none of us had any idea what we were talking about. It was just one of those situations where everyone involved feels compelled to say something, anything at all” (83).

The boys who help Primrose carry Herman home end up playing hockey in the attached gymnasium. When she mentions this to Uncle Jack, he explains that this developed from his conversation with Miss Honeycut, who says she thinks Primrose spends too much time alone. Uncle Jack says he has set up a daily hockey match so that Primrose can hobble on one foot and be the goalie. After a week of waiting for the boys to ask her to play goalie, she takes Mallomar and goes to the harbor to watch for her parents.

Standing on a pier as Mallomar chases birds, Primrose sees a line of seals swimming through the harbor. They remind her of the occasion when her family spent a day sailing and continually encountered a pod of orcas. Her father knew this pod, having seen them many times while catching fish. As she watches the seals, she hears someone call her name and turns to see Miss Honeycut and Miss Perfidy across the street in front of a church where women gather goods for a rummage sale. Since a light rain has started falling, Miss Honeycut and Miss Perfidy decry Primrose’s lack of supervision and her unawareness that one should come out of the rain. Miss Honeycut insists on taking Primrose and Mallomar home. When they arrive and the women realize the gym is full of hockey players, Miss Perfidy announces it is inappropriate to leave Primrose alone with boys. Primrose picks up Herman’s cage, saying she will go to Miss Bowzer’s café. Miss Honeycut says she will drive her.

When Miss Bowzer sees Primrose standing at the kitchen door with Miss Honeycut, she grasps Primrose’s arm and pulls her straight inside, saying, “I’ll take it from here.” (92-93). Inside, Primrose covers Herman’s cage with an apron and sets him out of the way but too close to the stove. She and Miss Bowzer discuss preparing tuna casserole for Uncle Jack, with Primrose explaining that, while he might insist that the café upgrade its menu offerings, his own meal choices were not at all upscale. They realize that the wood chips in Herman’s cage are on fire. They extinguish Herman with little harm done, and Primrose takes him home.

Having trimmed the singed fur off of Herman, Primrose knows it will draw the teacher’s attention when she returns to school. Miss Honeycut calls Primrose to her office for the first of several counseling sessions. She launches into a lecture without asking Primrose what happened or allowing her to speak. Primrose’s attention wavers several minutes into the lecture, only to have Miss Honeycut yell a question at her, causing Primrose to fall backward in her chair. At that point, an emergency with another student summons Miss Honeycut, so Primrose escapes back to her classroom.

Primrose meets Uncle Jack at The Girl in the Red Swing café for supper that evening for the first time. They bump into Miss Honeycut, who is to eat with a group of teachers. Miss Honeycut begins criticizing Uncle Jack’s parenting efforts. He responds with pleasant, optimistic fervor, quickly turning the conversation to the apartment where Miss Honeycut lives. Having been there, he knows it is not suitable and offers to sell her at cost a new townhouse with a sunset view over the Pacific, throwing in her moving fees. Miss Honeycut says she must rejoin her friends. When Primrose asks about Miss Honeycut’s reply, Uncle Jack responds, “It means she plans to think about this when she gets home” (104). All three understand that Miss Honeycut’s acceptance of the deal means she must quit trying to remove Primrose from Uncle Jack’s home and life.

As they eat their supper, which Uncle Jack finds surprisingly good, Primrose expresses concern that Miss Honeycut will remain hypervigilant: “I don’t know how I’m going to take Mallomar down to the beach or sit on the dock and watch for my parents if everyone thinks I can’t even take care of myself anymore” (105). Uncle Jack suggests that Primrose take a long-handled net with her to the pier. Then she will look like those boys who use these nets to scoop fish and sell them. Primrose says the plan would have been perfect if it had not resulted in her removal to a foster home.