Elizabeth is Missing

“ […] I’ve begun to find that, being with Elizabeth, laughing with her, is the only time I feel like myself.” 

Elizabeth is Maud’s only remaining friend because “the others are in homes or graves” (6).

Maud is aware that her disease is robbing her of her memories and her sense of self. In sharp contrast to many other people she encounters in the book, Elizabeth is kind, patient, and understanding of Maud’s limitations.

“I forget things—I know that—but I’m not mad. Not yet. And I’m sick of being treated as if I am. I’m tired of the sympathetic smiles and the little pats people give you when you get things confused, and I’m bloody fed up with everyone deferring to Helen rather than listening to what I have to say.” 

Maud is reacting to Helen sighing when Maud tells her, once again, that Elizabeth is missing. Despite her general confusion, Maud is aware of how people are treating her, and she’s angry about it.

“The thing is to be systematic, try to write everything down. Elizabeth is missing, and I must do something to find out what’s happened. But I’m so muddled. I can’t be sure about when I last saw her or what I’ve discovered.” 

Maud is behaving like a detective in a mystery novel, gathering clues and writing everything down. Tracking down Elizabeth is not her only motivation for taking notes: She’s recording everything to keep track of her daily life and to remember what’s happening around her.

“‘I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell the doctor to look at you properly.’” 

Maud falls down steps leaving the park and hurts her arm, but she doesn’t recall the incident the next day. When her arm hurts the next morning, Carla, Helen, and the doctor dismiss her complaints as nothing more than the normal aches and pains of an aging body. When Helen sees the bruises on Maud’s arm, Helen realizes that she should have listened to Maud when she complained. Helen apologizes for not taking Maud’s complaints seriously Helen can be compassionate and loving despite her frustration with Maud.

“I feel myself flush again and stand outside the house for a while after she’s driven off, trying to think of something else to look for, something to prove that I’m not a silly old woman.” 

Elizabeth’s neighbor says that Maud never remembers her and suggests that Maud may not remember to tell Peter that the neighbor said hello. Maud feels embarrassed and humiliated. This is one of many examples of the unkind strangers and acquaintances who Maud encounters each day.

“I feel like I’ve failed an important test. A little piece of me is gone.” 

Not being able to remember how to set a table reminds Maud that she’s losing pieces of herself both literally and figuratively. She’s losing the ability to do household tasks that once came easily to her. She’s also losing the scraps of paper that she relies on to keep track of the important moments happening around her.

“I feel rather drab and shy for a few minutes. But then I remember that I am old and nobody is looking at me.” 

When Maud attends Elizabeth’s church, she notices that everyone is dressed up for the occasion except for her. Maud feels ignored and irrelevant; this moment captures how our society treats the elderly.

“I get a flash of heat. How dare they dismiss me? How dare they.” 

Maud realizes that the people at Elizabeth’s church are not taking her seriously, and this exasperates her. The episode ends as Maud tells the group that she isn’t stupid, and she smashes her tea cup on the stone floor of the church. 

“I go hot at his words. My armpits prickle. I can see what he thinks of me now, and I feel sick. The tears spill over, finally, and I turn away so he won’t see them.” 

When Maud realizes that the police officer is making fun of her for coming in so often to report Elizabeth missing, she is humiliated. The episode reminds Maud of the police officer who visited her house after Sukey went missing and dismissed Maud’s parents’ fears, telling them not to worry about Sukey’s disappearance.

“All the hours Elizabeth and I spent going through the donations, and I never thought that one day one of us might be going through the things of the other.” 

Maud is sad, remembering happier times when she and Elizabeth would work together at the charity shop, not thinking about where all the items they were sorting through came from. Maud doesn’t think Elizabeth would have given away a photo of the two of them together, and she worries that this may mean Elizabeth is dead. 

“A blue glass bottle nestled against the sleeve of a blouse as if held in the crook of an arm. Sukey’s perfume, Evening in Paris. I pulled it free, automatically splashing my wrists and neck before I thought what I was doing.” 

Young Maud finds Sukey’s perfume and impulsively puts it on. Wearing something that once belonged to Sukey is comforting to Maud but also makes her sad. This scene takes place just after the older Maud finds Elizabeth’s picture at the charity shop. In both instances, Maud discovers an item that a missing loved one left behind. 

“Someone was inside, looking out. I could hear a voice from within, whispering. Whispering about glass smashing and birds flying. Whispering about a van and soil and summer squash.” 

Young Maud comes across the mad woman, who is hiding inside a beach shack. Although her words sound like mad ravings, the mad woman is trying to tell Maud what happened to Sukey.

“I’m surprised they let me decide for myself if I’m hungry.” 

Although Maud is too confused to realize that she’s eating too much bread, she is aware enough to know that her family is treating her like a child. This quote expresses her resentment toward this treatment.

“‘She’s not an animal. She can speak.’” 

Douglas tells Maud that he has been talking to the mad woman because he suspects she may know something about what happened to Sukey. Douglas is advocating for the mad woman and reminding Maud that, although she is odd, she is still a human being.

The mad woman is like Maud as an old woman, no longer able to clearly express herself and prone to fits of rage. Maud has a fit in the very next scene when she rips the phone out of the wall, upends the coffee table, smashes a glass, and kicks her alarm clock across the room.

“I couldn’t bear to walk past something that might be Sukey’s and not pick it up.” 

Maud is remembering how she was constantly looking for clues about Sukey’s disappearance. Picking up things that might have belonged to Sukey makes Maud feel like she still has a connection to Sukey. In the wake of Sukey’s disappearance, Maud becomes an amateur detective, determined to solve the mystery of what happened to Sukey.

“It was Douglas’s record, the ‘Champagne Aria,’ sung by Ezio Pinza. I liked his name and I liked the song, but I liked the laughing at the end best. It was one of the first records Douglas played to us, long before Sukey was married.” 

The “Champagne Aria” is an important memory for Maud because it reminds her of a happy time in her home, before Sukey was missing. Douglas left the record for her when he moved to America. In the next scene, Katy is trying to use music to jog Maud’s memories. Maud tells Katy about the song, about her memories listening to it on the floor of Douglas’ room when she was a girl, and they listen to it together.

“Someone is cementing over their garden. Elizabeth’s son is always threatening to do that. How horrid that would be, what a terrible thing […] And how would we ever get at the ground beneath? It would be lost for ever.” 

Maud’s thoughts suggest that, on some level, she knows that Sukey is buried in Elizabeth’s garden.

“‘You’ve sold my house?’ I say, feeling sick. The floor I’m sitting on seems not quite stable, as if it’s gone already. ‘How can you sell my house? It’s mine. I live here. I’ve always lived here.’” 

Maud objects to leaving the house she’s lived in since childhood, not realizing that she’d already agreed to it. The fact that she can’t remember discussing the move with Helen and that Maud can no longer safely live alone are both indications that Maud’s dementia is progressing.

“‘Playing at being her. That’s what you’re doing. Wearing her clothes. Going out with her husband.’” 

When Douglas notices that Maud is wearing Sukey’s clothes and lipstick, and spends time with Frank, Douglas accuses Maud of trying to replace Sukey. Maud is intrigued by Frank, who is a handsome grown man who captured Sukey’s heart the first night they met. Despite her grief, Maud enjoys pretending to be an adult. However, she’s also wearing Sukey’s things and spending time with Sukey’s husband to feel close to her sister.

“I really loved him then. Loved him for carrying on, for caring enough to carry on when Frank had given up.” 

In this passage, Maud has just realized that Douglas has been sneaking out to go to dances, in hopes of running into Sukey. Maud loves him for continuing to hope that Sukey is still out there. Douglas provides a sharp contrast to Frank who has just berated Maud for trying to find out what happened to Sukey. 

“I try to make sense of it, but it’s impossible. There’s such a jumble in my head. My house and strange people and Katy on the stairs and fish and chips for dinner and Sukey gone and Elizabeth gone [...] ” 

At this point, Maud can no longer keep the past and present straight. Although she’s moved in with Helen, Maud’s gone back to the house where she grew up, where she raised her children, and where she lived alone after her children grew up. She mistakes the new owner’s child for Katy. The new residents are having fish and chips for dinner, which reminds Maud of the last time she saw Sukey. Maud knows that Sukey and Elizabeth are both gone, but nothing else makes sense to her.

“There is something yellowish underneath, something smoothly, frighteningly, round, with rows of teeth which bite into the soil as if they could carve a path to the surface. […] I see it has a missing piece, a crack, a mark of violence, hollow and dark against the pallor. 

In this scene, Helen has dug up Sukey’s skull. Although Maud lacks the ability to understand what is happening, this horrifying discovery solves the mystery of Sukey’s whereabouts.

“‘I should have followed her lead: she’s been sitting on a centuries-old murder here.’” 

Though the policeman previously dismissed Maud’s concerns, he admits he should have listened to her: Maud was right, and she helped solve the mystery surrounding Sukey’s disappearance. However, the police officer’s demeanor suggests that he still may still not take her completely seriously.